93. Backdated to the end of the Grey Log

[lamb_of_gold]

[Mu is sitting, damp-haired and smelling of soap, in a quieter corner of the Plane with the cloth of Aries in a disassembled pile in front of him. He seems to be meticulously cleaning one of the forearm bracers, and the cloth which he is using to do so has turned a rather distinct shade of red, coupled with an equally distinct coppery smell in the air.

He's taken lives before, but it never gets easier.]

Comments

[lamb_of_gold]

I think we all did. And I certainly think we all were hoping for a different outcome.

[not_a_lamb_nor_ram]

I-- I just wish there was more that I could have done.

[ Having so much power in the world and not being able to save one man weighed heavily on him. ]

[lamb_of_gold]

Likewise, but as soon as he became that monster, other resolutions were lost to us. [Mu's hands pause.] There is still no joy in taking the life of another.

[not_a_lamb_nor_ram]

No. [ A quiet reply, but one that comes almost too quickly. ] It was that monster in him. It's just that--

[ And Kiran stops himself, shaking his head. ] There's nothing we can change now.

[lamb_of_gold]

Finish your thought.

[not_a_lamb_nor_ram]

Would there have been a way to get the monster out of him? If we had more time. He-- Grey, he didn't seem to be a bad person.

[lamb_of_gold]

Maybe, if one of us had fit his criteria of "Special," it may have drawn the creature out. I...I do not like that it ended the way it did - I had no quarrel with him. But I do not regret the actions we took.

[not_a_lamb_nor_ram]

[ Kiki chews on that thought and entertained other alternatives: they could have taken the time to look for someone or something that the monster would be drawn to; but time for them meant time for the monster to gain more victims. He shakes his head -- ] There were so many of us -- with all that knowledge and power, we couldn't save one man.

[ He looks at his bandaged hands. So far, Sanctuary had not seen any mission that involved killing worth the time and power of a Gold Saint. ] But I don't regret it either. We did the best we could with what we had.

[ Saying it out loud somewhat helps overpower the whispers of doubt and what-ifs that run through his mind. ]

[lamb_of_gold]

Mmm. Too often we're dealt bad hands.

[There's a beat as Mu studies Kiki's face, perhaps still looking for the little 'tells' he had as a child.]

And yet you're troubled?

[not_a_lamb_nor_ram]

[ Tells where he either looked distracted or seemed intent on his work a tad too much, brows unnecessarily furrowed -- because that armpiece is looking mighty shiny by now.

A breath and -- ]

I wish you didn't have to do it.