[02]

[decrypts]

[so, york hasn't exactly had that little problem with the pollen - both those he's met up with have been. and since someone has already come up with a solution, since he's always around to be a helpful son of a gun, he's just come back from the mother of invention with a little something for the people of the plane.

a little something being just about anything he could find in the infirmary that had the word 'antihistamine'. on it.

he doesn't really think anyone's going to miss what he's taken, and if they do, well .. no one will ever know it was him, anyway, right? because he's an infiltration specialist for a reason, and if he can't get in and extract what he needs and back out again without being noticed, he's definitely doing something wrong.

right now, he's set up near the bar. he has everything he's managed to take spread out on a table for anyone passing by to peruse, and there's even a little sign letting everyone know what's going on:

All your allergy needs are here! Agent Doctor York to the rescue.

yep. this is happening.]

Comments

[decrypts]

[.. welp. so that was another long shot, and he's pretty much just grasping for straws at this point, and he's almost positive that he's going to end up with that knife in his neck or a bullet in his head until -

okay. one last resort, here.] So that was a shot in the dark .. have you heard the one about two suicide grunts walking into a bar?

[dodging dodging dodging all that lunging and he's backpedaling as quickly as he can, sweating bullets - do pardon the pun - and worrying about keeping himself alive.]

[inhumanity]

[Christopher actually stops.] I haven't. What is it?

[decrypts]

[brace yourself, chris. because this is going to be the worst best joke you've ever heard in your life and if york actually makes it a point of taking a breath before he starts telling it, you're imagining things.] Okay, so two suicide grunts walk into a bar, right? And they're having a great time .. laughin', carryin' on, having a drink of whatever the fuck it is grunts drink - hell if I know, it's not particularly relevant to the joke - but anyway. One of them turns to the other and says he's ready to go, tells his buddy that he needs to get up.

And the other one says, "I can't. I'm stuck."

[drumroll, please ........

and complete silence.]

[inhumanity]

[......]

I don't get it.

[decrypts]

[no one ever gets his jokes.

ever.

god you're as bad as carolina.] Well, okay .. see, suicide grunts carry around plasma grenades - and they're nicknamed stickies. So when the one tells the other to get up .. he can't. Because he's stuck.

[.. tentative smile?] Get it?

1/2

[inhumanity]

Noooooo....

[Christopher trails off thinking about this.]

[inhumanity]

[And then grins and goes for a point-blank shot at York's head.] Sorry, but I think you're just not funny!

[decrypts]

[sadflkh FUCKING HELL WHY DID HE THINK THAT WAS GOING TO WORK.

okay. note to self: come up with better jokes. because clearly the ones you've got aren't good enough to keep you alive.

how he manages to dodge that bullet is anyone's guess - it has to be some of that military training coming into play, surely - but even if it doesn't hit him, it comes close enough that he could hear it as it passed by and the thought alone has his heart racing like nothing else has.] Okay. Okayokayokay. That was awful. Can't we just .. agree to disagree, here? Or is this still about me not being a robot?

[inhumanity]

[EVER HEARD OF THE MOUTH OF MADNESS?

You're looking into it right now.]

Now it's just about seeing you dead! [That cheerful announcement preludes Christopher closing in again with the intentions of getting some stabbing done.]

[decrypts]

[YEAH MAYBE HE'S HEARD OF IT BUT HE NEVER THOUGHT HE'D BE LOOKING AT IT.

ESPECIALLY AT POINT-BLANK RANGE.

dude you're really creepy with all this cheerfulness at trying to kill someone, you know that? have you ever thought about therapy?

STILL TRYING TO GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM YOU, BY THE WAY.] If I said I was sorry about the joke, would that do anything? Can't I have a get out of jail free card?

[york, really .. just. just stop. you're only going to make it worse.]

[inhumanity]

You might, but I'm the very opposite of a police officer.

[With that nonsense, Christopher springs forward, and that leg York lifted trying to run? Yes, Christopher jumps and lands on York's leg so he can smash York's head with his knee, sending him crashing to the ground.

He lifts his guns, and for a moment he looks like nothing more than a monster about to drive in its claws.]

[And he does just that. The gunblades drive right into York's eyes. Christopher laughs gleefully as he fires both guns.]

[decrypts]

It was a j-

[that's .. pretty much all he has time to say. chris is frighteningly fast, and his brain doesn't have time to catch up with everything that's happening around him until he realizes he's right the fuck there, and there's a millisecond of jesus fuck christ -

before everything goes black. he thinks there's an icy sliver that shoots through him before that, but he can't be sure, and by the time it's all over ..

that's all there is to it. blackness, a hell of a lot of blood, and the limp body of a dead freelancer on the ground.]

[inhumanity]

[Christopher hopped back tup his feet. He shook off his gunblades and set them away.]

That was fun... But I'm bored again.

[Singing, Christopher wanders away to find another waste of time.]