06

[stoicperfection.livejournal.com]

[ Heero had woken up on that lab table in a drugged haze and the first thing he felt was panic.  The lack of control was something he always hated, wanting to be nothing more than alert and ready for anything. At least that man kicked him out not much longer after that.

By the time he returned to the Plane and into the hangar, he was feeling much better. Still a bit drugged but nothing he couldn't handle. But now that the feeling was gone, it left him reeling with what he had almost done. This experiment had been cruel, using his darkest thoughts and feelings and using them coax him into doing the unthinkable.  No one had been harmed in the end, but still...

He had almost killed Relena. That was the most unforgivable thing he had ever done.

Sitting down at his workstation, he pressed his hands to his face while trying to recall how it ended. He could see Relena standing there, eyes closed and ready to accept her fate. Then he heard something and turned quickly to find out what it was. A kid? Before was sure, everything turned to blackness. Letting out a sigh, he reached and grabbed a pocket knife off the table and flicked it open. Carefully he drew the blade down his forearm, watching black blood well up and roll down the side. Black blood with shimmers -- the blood of someone who now belonged to the machine.

That was when he lost it.

Throwing the knife to the side, he stood up and threw everyone off his workstation in a swift movement. Then went the table. Eventually the rest of the hangar ended yup experiencing the same fate. Things had been thrown and broken in an attempt to deal with the horrible things he had thought and tried to do.  And once he was finished, he stormed out  and find some place else to sulk, uncaring that his arm was still bleeding. ]

Comments

[pintsizeddeath.livejournal.com]

[Duo didn't have much of an appetite lately. None at all since Heero went down. Sure, he made no effort to hide how he was feeling, and avoiding Crowley and the others for the most part save Relena, but then it was only a few days. He was headed to the cafeteria in hopes of getting a good meal. Even ramen noodles of that was all he could bother to cook. Heh. Thems the breaks-- and speak of the devil. He spotted his friend from across the plane.]

Heero?

[stoicperfection.livejournal.com]

[He just continued right on by, failing to notice the child sized Duo. What he should have done was dropped from the Plane and go home. Instead he ended up heading towards the mansion.]

[pintsizeddeath.livejournal.com]

[And Duo ran straight to him, grabbing him by the forearm, then pulling back as he realized how it was smeared with blood.] Jeez. Heero--

Back five minutes and you're already getting hurt?

[stoicperfection.livejournal.com]

[It figured Duo would be the first one to run into him. After all, it was the other pilot who killed him.]

I did it myself.

[pintsizeddeath.livejournal.com]

[It was impressive that Heero knew that.]

Kind of foolish of you. What're you doin?

[stoicperfection.livejournal.com]

[How many small kids had guns? Conan certainly didn't. He guessed.]

I needed to confirm something.

[He ignores the second question and continues on.]

[pintsizeddeath.livejournal.com]

So you noticed that too?

[He whipes the blood off best he can and follows along.] So what now? Aren't you gonna go see Relena?

[stoicperfection.livejournal.com]

No. She doesn't need to see me.

[pintsizeddeath.livejournal.com]

... Give it a while then, but she does need to see you.

[Duo hesitated then grabbed him by his other arm.] Are you even gonna look at me, Heero? I'm sorry I shot you, but you'da done the same for me.

[stoicperfection.livejournal.com]

She's better off if I don't go near her. [Because he's afraid something like this would happen again.]

[He stopped in his tracks as Duo grabbed his arm again.]

I know. You did the right thing.

[pintsizeddeath.livejournal.com]

[Fine. Duo punched him in the arm and offered a sad smile.]

Come on. Mope all you want, but avoiding her is impossible.

Even I couldn't do it.

[stoicperfection.livejournal.com]

I can try.

[He shook his head and then looked at Duo.]

She said she loves me.

[pintsizeddeath.livejournal.com]

I coulda told you that.

[stoicperfection.livejournal.com]

That's a problem.

[pintsizeddeath.livejournal.com]

Why's that?

[Damn, is he gonna play therapist here? He fidgeted his hands a bit, folded behind, then falling to his sides.]

Where you going anyway?

[stoicperfection.livejournal.com]

[Yup. It was his fault for talking to him.]

Because I'm not good for her.

[He looked away]

To the mansion.

[pintsizeddeath.livejournal.com]

[He shrugged. Guess Relena was gonna need to work even harder now. But their love life was none of his business.]

Why's that?

[stoicperfection.livejournal.com]

[To see Mami. He didn't want to discuss what happened with those involved.]

None of your business.

[pintsizeddeath.livejournal.com]

[Not so much as a snappy comeback, he just stops walking, eyes leveled on Heero. He then shakes his head and starts walking away.]

If that's how you want it.

[stoicperfection.livejournal.com]

[Frowns.]

What do you want from me, Duo?

[pintsizeddeath.livejournal.com]

Tch. Who. Me?

Would it kill you to show a little kindness once in a while?

Not that I'm resentful or nothin, but the last couple of days have been hell, alright?

Between you and a lunatic viking-- [He grunts.] Screw it, man. I'm out.

[stoicperfection.livejournal.com]

I am. I'm not discussing it with you right now.

[Because he actually does believe that's a good thing.]

[pintsizeddeath.livejournal.com]

Okay.

Can you-- Uh. [He gestures towards the hanger.] Just come by later or something.

[stoicperfection.livejournal.com]

[Looking towards the hangar, he frowned slightly. Duo wasn't going to like what he did.]

Yeah.

[pintsizeddeath.livejournal.com]

[Heero probably hasn't noticed how much of a mess the hanger was since he brought Toothless home with him. He stalks off without another word.]

[stoicperfection.livejournal.com]

[Not at all. He had been to busy throwing things around to really notice. Watching Duo head off, he turned away and continued on his way to the mansion.]

[pacifistleader.livejournal.com]

[Duo was right, He couldn't avoid her. Especially when she spotted a certain pilot leave the hangar just as she was heading towards it to try and find Duo. So she veered off course and began to follow him. After a few moments she sped up and came along side Heero, observing him and even noting the blood, but choosing not to comment on that.]

Heero, we need to talk about what happened.

[stoicperfection.livejournal.com]

[It figured the one person he couldn't let himself see had to come and find him first. He increased his pace to try and deter her from following. It wouldn't work of course.]

There's nothing to discuss. [He was trying to keep his voice even to hide the emotional mess he was.]