realityshifted | (no subject)

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men in black (d1) agent k

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[There's been a long gap where Kay hasn't had access to the Plane. Or anywhere, really. Why? Because since the fairy tale incident, he's been in a cocoon.

And today he's back. On the Plane. With a giant pair of teal butterfly wings. And now he has to hide from his own world because no way can he report into work with these babies. He'd be in the laboratory getting blood tests for a month like the last time insect parts started sprouting out of his body.]

Oh what the fuck is this shit. [He has to get these somewhere. He doesn't know where. Just somewhere. How is he going to get his jacket off?! He'd rather be shooting heavy arms at angry radiation monkeys again. At least that was fun! Not prancing around like a goddamn fairy.

Okay, he's not really prancing. He's trudging. But in his mind, there's no other way one can bear butterfly wings but with the indignity of perceived prancing.]

*OOC: And Kay's expirement is go.

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[Menzies spots a man in a suit with wings looking very unhappy, and she can't resist walking over to him with a small smirk]

Those are new, I take it?

These are completely new to me. [Which is a rarity. And he starts to try and turn himself so that he can crane his neck and better see them. Watch out for oversized wings he's clumsy with and not used to.] The last thing I knew, I was wanting to make a cocoon out of nowhere and then suddenly I'm goddamn Tinkerbell.

[she takes a few quick steps back to avoid a potentially awkward situation, and raises an eyebrow at his description of events] Let me get this straight. You decided to put yourself into a cocoon, and then--completely unexpectedly--you came out of the cocoon with wings? [can you sense the sarcasm, Kay?]

It's not really often that I want to make coccoons either. And considering what might come out of them I guess I should be thankful I don't have mandibles or something.

[A pause.

And then he's checking the insides of his cheeks for mandibles. There's none hiding in there, right?]

[she watches him, wondering just what to make of this strange bloke. he doesn't sound like any alien species she knows. and don't they usually lose the human guises when they start adding appendages?]

So, just one of those sporadic urges, is it? Once in a blue moon?

There are comets that make the trip around the edge of the solar system and back more often than I have this particular sporadic urge. I'll be honest.

[And he gets wing powder on his hands trying to touch them- NOOO These things are actually kind of fragile, like huge butterfly wings! Why would someone even do this?!

He awkwardly avoids trying to put his hands on his black suit while he looks for a tissue.]

Really? Then what brought on the "sudden urge"?

[amused] Need a little help?

I'm not sure. [But the timing...] People were acting kind of funny. It might be a hangover from that. One of the expirements I heard this place does on people- yes, please, I have a handkerchief on the left outside pocket of my jacket.

[He actually wants to rip these damn things off but he has a feeling it might surprisingly hurt. Enough bugs he's fought with have complained about losing their wings in a fight.]

[surprised] You mean this place made you do that? Just how "funny" were people acting?

[she steps forward, grabbing the handkerchief and offering it to him. she might look a little smug about this. disturbing or not, his predicament is still rather amusing]

They were.... I seem to remember talk about fairy godmothers and piemakers. It was fucked up. It's not really clear to me. [He sort of awkwardly takes the handkerchief to wipe his hands.]

This is probably an experiment by the Plane. I hope it is. A short lived one at that.

[she raises an eyebrow] An experiment to make people act like piemakers and give them wings? [her tone is skeptical, but not because she can't believe him; more because it's so unbelievably strange--and unsettling] I didn't know those were the sort of "unethical experiments" this place did. You know, come to think of it, I didn't know any place did experiments like that. [she eyes one of his wings, starting to get the distinct impression that he's not the alien she first assumed] What the hell is it for?

[Eithan stares. Not that he has much of a right to, seeing as he's still stuck in a peasant's dress, but that doesn't seem to be stopping him.]

Whoa.

[He gives this kid the most perturbed look, and it's not even because he's in a peasant's dress. It's because he knows these wings are stupid.] I couldn't even tell you.

[A little more staring... and then:]

So can you fly?

...I couldn't tell you that, either.

[And then he flaps his wings to sort of flap up off the ground. Hey! He can fly!

And topple forward and down and onto all fours when he realizes that he just actually started to lift up off the ground. Nope. Nuh uh. Not doing that again.]

[Eithan winces in sympathy and goes to the man's side to offer a hand up.]

Guess that's a... sort-of-yes? [Small laugh] Uh, blame the Plane, I'm guessin'?

[He clamors up and straightens up his suit almost hatefully. But does give Eithan a nod of thanks.] In my experience it could be a lot of things. I can't point fingers yet.

In your experience? ... Seriously? You can think of other reasons you'd suddenly have a pair of wings?

[An arched brow.]

Either humans are strange on your world or you're the subject of an experiment...

...Actually it's really hard to say. [He tries more clumsy turning to try and look at the damn wings. Watch out for those, Crowley. Apparently they're dusty.]

[He takes a quick step bag before simply willing a dressing room mirror into existence.]

Stop that twirling. You don't want to damage them.

[And he sees himself in the mirror. And gives the wings a slow beat. And is overwhelmed with annoyance. Not at Crowley, but just these stupid things on his back- How is he supposed to sleep?]

...

There anybody I can file a formal complaint with and slash or punch in their goddamn face for giving me a pair of butterfly wings if this does turn out to be an expirement?

Not that I'm aware of, mate.

Er... They're pretty fetching at least...

Seems like they clash with the suit to me.

[Which the wings have nice little holes in the back of that they're poking out of just the appropriate size. He has no idea how he's going to get this suit off later. But he'll damn well cut it off if he has to.]

Black goes with everything.

Maybe it's just because I know this suit isn't going to stay black when these things start shedding powder. [Wait.]

Not human, are you? [He motions to the magically appeared mirror, realizing it's not really a variation of pulling something onto the plane nor probably not lingering effects from the God spell.]

Not exactly, no. Is that a problem?

['What the fuck is this shit' sums it up. So Braxiatel will politely side-step the surprise for his sake.]

I'm sure we have a few surgeons back on the Collection who could deal with that.

[He does sound more entertained than he should. Manners have a limit.]

[He is so tempted to fluff wing dust at Brax it's not funny.

But he has surgeons and that has his interest.] I've got surgeons that can, too. Only they'll also be damn curious about what caused it and that'll take months.

[Why does he have butterfly wings? This is not going to stop bothering him.]

[No it's definitely funny, sorry Kay.] I admit, I'm a little curious myself. [Is there the slight edge of a laugh in the way he speaks? Oh, but he's trying to hide it.]

That uh... There was a thing, in a forest. And I said I was a caterpillar. And I was looking for Alice. And then I wanted to make a cocoon. Which... doesn't really feel like me at all in retrospect.

[There is an option to at some point flap them against Braxiatel and cover him in pretty pretty butterfly wing dust. This is something he will continue to consider, even if it'll damage the wings.

These things are going to end up so beat up.]

You mean you were caught in Alice in Wonderland and your body has elected not to shake the narrative off. How metafictional. Can you fly?

I'm not sure it's not something else yet. [But that seems the most likely scenario.] Yeah. I can fly.

[Notice his lack of demonstration.]

[Kay, you are no fun. You are a stick and you are in the mud.] That comes as a surprise. There must be more of your internal structure changed. Or perhaps magic. [He seems amused by the possibility. Fft, magic.]

[Stares in passing for a moment, eyes wide in her head. Well. He must definitely be a supernatural. Or something.]

Need help?

[It was a tentative offer. No need to offend a stranger, now.]

Probably.

[He sort of motions over his shoulder at the gaudy, obnoxious things.] You know someone here that can spontaneously give someone butterfly wings?

[She winces a little at that.]

N-no, I d-don't. I thought they may be... ah... natural. [She makes a face, wondering if that wasn't the right thing to say.

No. This would be my first time with them.

[He looks awkwardly at his hand, and then at her.] Sorry if I don't shake, but I don't know yet whether this is contagious or not.

[Chloe stares, then her face goes white and her stutter returns full force.]

Wh-wh-wh-what?! Wh-what do you m-mean? You aren't--th-these aren't--? [She gulps down air and visibly attempts to calm herself.] These wings. H-how did you come to have them if... [And she trails off on that thought process there.]

Oh... [With a small squeak, Chloe leans away a tiny bit, then realizes her action felt kind of silly and takes a casual step toward him to show she wasn't afraid. Startled, yes, but not afraid.] It's okay. Thank you for your concern. I'm Chloe. I-if there is anything I can do to help, don't hesitate to ask.

[Oh! He's... probably intimidating the hell out of this poor girl and she's only trying to help. He realizes he needs to ease up a bit. Even if it's not her he's pissed at.]

That's nice of you. Thank you. It could be something the Plane did. I heard it does these things sometimes.

[Blinking, Chloe takes in his words and dawning realization makes her jaw drop slightly.]

S-so th-this is the work of the Machine? Of this--this place? [Chloe looks around a bit uneasily at their surroundings.] So do you think this is one of th-the experiments that take place here?

[She looks worried, and her concerned gaze takes this man in as she studies him to see if he seems to be in any pain of any kind, at the very least.] Do they hurt?

Hmm? [Hiccup looks up at the cursing, and almost loses his balance over the surprise of seeing someone in... that state.] Whoaaaah, okay... Okay, now I've really seen everything. [And he can't help staring, because those are WINGS, aren't they?!] Are those real?!

Oh god, Slick, I wish they weren't. [Brutal honesty for the fact he has two big butterfly wings a'pokin' out of his back.] I wish more that I knew what did it.

[Hiccup has never heard of a god named Slick, but if this guy believed in him, then it's alright~] Uuuuh, let me get this straight: you have huge, butterfly wings on your back and you... um, don't know how did you get them? Now, that's... heavy. Are they heavy?

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