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doctor who (d1) the eleventh doctor

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[The Doctor is on the Plane with a purple llama, attempting to put a gift bow around it's neck. The llama is not happy with that.]

Oh come on, there, there.

[he pets the llama, while still struggling with the bow. Even though he just created a llama out of nowhere, it never occurs to him that he could use those same powers to just place the ribbon there]

[ooc; backdated to god powers]

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[ And here comes Amy. She's seen some crazy things lately with all this... powers business. But a purple llama is a first and probably the weirdest so far. ]

Err, what is that?

[he's startled by Amy, and then waves his hands while showing off the llama]

Happy Christmas! Happy birthday! Happy whatever gift giving holiday it is at the moment.

[he looks down at the llama]

Don't be shy. [he nudges it toward Amy and smiles up at her. The llama stares at Amy with an unblinking lineface] I call him Steve.

There's no holiday. [ said dryly. she's not buying it. ]

Why are you giving me a llama, and why is it purple? You should give it to Rory. [ she leans slightly away, hesitant to pet it. she is curious if it feels real since it looks like an alien llama. just look at that lineface. ]

There's always a holiday somewhere.

And why not purple? I like purple.

But, no, you're right, Rory probably would be a better choice. [and he's considering this now while the llama is still linefacing at Amy]

'Course you do. But Steve doesn't really look too pleased himself.

[ her hand slooooowly reaches out to touch it. ]

Maybe you should take the bowtie off.

[frowns, tilting his head to look down at the llama]

Course he does. I think I know when a llama is pleased.

[the llama is skeptical at first, but being pet is awesome, so the llama is allowing it for now]

Bowties are - [he pauses and then grins] Oh yes, that reminds me! [a wave of his hand and Amy's clothes are replaced with bowties and braces and a glorious amount of tweed. He smiles even more] No need to thank me, just call me Father Christmas.

[he's ADDing on his llama and putting that bow on it, so he doesn't notice any pausing.]

[and he finally notices]

Oh, hello!

[and he's not commenting on anything else, because there's nothing out of the ordinary here]

Is that... yours?

Of course not! Can't you see the bow? It's clearly a gift.

[he waves the bow around as if to illustrate this fact. The llama just stares at Jim.]

See?

And... who is it for?

Amy...and Rory. They're sort of a package deal.

[small] You don't have something against llamas, do you?

...Not that I'm aware of, no.

[and here's Rory just...staring and wondering if he's really seeing what he's seeing.]

[okay, so that lasts for a moment before he finally voices one of the many questions on the tip of his tongue]

...Where did you get a llama, Doctor?

Has anyone ever told you, Rory, don't look a gift llama in the mouth.

[he grins, presenting the llama]

Surprise! I was going to give it to Amy, which is practically giving it to you anyway, but after a lot of thought, it probably would be better with you anyway. So, yes, surprise and all those things.

I think you mean a horse, and no I've never heard that before.

[he'd like to point out that you still didn't answer his question, Doctor, but he's pretty distracted now] What? But what am I supposed to do with a llama? And hold on, why would be better with me?

Well, Amy is a bit well...Amy. And you're all Rory like. Changing nappies, taking care of llamas, looking after patients.

[starts to stammer] Wait, nappies?! [looks at the llama very dubiously] Doctor, I can't take care of a llama. Where would I even keep it?

He doesn't look too happy there.

[frowns] Of course he's happy. Why wouldn't he be happy?

It's not as if you're a llama expert. [a beat] You're not a llama expert, are you?

[She crosses her arms, trying not to smile. Trying and failing.] And if I am? Will you listen to my superior llama knowledge?

In that case I'd have no other choice. Unless of course, your knowledge was all wrong. Then I'd have a duty to ignore it, for the good of the llama, of course.

Of course, that's only fair. [She looks at the poor llama.] I think he's accepted his fate now. But why the bow in the first place? [Though a better question might be, "Hey, where'd you get that llama?"]

Oh, yes! Very good question. He is, in fact, a gift for a friend. Well, two friends. What do you think? I figure it beats china or linens or all the other usual registry gifts.

Well... it seems like a lot of work to take care of it. It's a pretty big pet after all. Besides, registries exist because people want to make sure they get things they want or need.

Where did ye find a purple...er, whatever that is?

Jamie! Would you believe me if I said I made him?

Aye. Aye, I would. [In fact, he's remarkably unsurprised by the idea.]

Why would ye not just wish the ribbon on him, though?

[blinks, because that never even occurred to him - but he's not going to admit that]

It would be very easy to do that, wouldn't it? Too easy in fact! I think it's better this way, don't you? Unless of course you don't like a good challenge.

Well, if ye want to get bitten by the thing, Doctor, I'll not stop ye.

[Still, he's looking at the llama rather considerably.] Although, maybe if ye distracted it by giving it something to eat first...

That's actually not a bad idea. Right, distract it with food.

[a beat and then he looks at Jamie]

What do llamas eat?

How would I know that? [He didn't even know what it was called until a second or so ago.]

For all I know it likes fruit salad or something.

[A plate with fruit salad appears in Jamie's hand, and he gives it a rather resigned look.] Och, not again.

[This face? This face screams "ew"]It's bad enough that it is here, you shouldn't be so cruel to it as to force your own lack of fashion upon it.

Aren't you cheerful? My fashion sense is excellent, I'll have you know. Haven't you got better things to do, like creating evil schemes that I'll eventually stop or the like?

I've been quite busy, actually. [that face morphs from ew to very, very smug] But I'm off topic, what is it with you and your predecessor and the ridiculous animals?

My prede - oh, no, he didn't. Typical, isn't it? Still, I'm sure mine is far better than whatever he managed to scrounge up.

His was a music playing, banana gifting ostrich on roller skates. Yours just looks like it fell into a vat of dye.

...

[Gin does not comprehend this scene. What kind of ridiculous—] What— are you doing?

Putting a gift bow around a llamas neck. What does it look like I'm doing?

[because clearly Gin is the ridiculous one here and the Doctor is perfectly normal]

... I can see that.

But what's the point?

[Gin did not look satisfied with that answer.]

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