(no subject)

[onehundredbeers]

[Here is Nathan, armed with dual battle axes. The table, though he stared at it long and adamantly, did not give him the machine gun he so wanted deep in his soul. He took the next best thing.

But it isn't just Nathan standing here like a moron. This is Nathan, all of 6'8" tall, armed, and in the middle of combat.

These past few days haven't been good on his temper at all, and he's finally been enabled a way to vent his frustrations, and oh is it fucking awesome.



Strewn around him are already a dozen bodies in various states of death. Some are simply beheaded, some look like they've been chopped repeatedly, some even look like he tossed the axes aside for a single, brief moment, to crack some skulls in.

He roars like a monster and swings his axe, slamming it deep into one of the zombies still standing. His clothes are damp, his face is sprayed with various types of gore, and his eyes? Are no longer their bright and vivid green. They're pure red, and the glow they cast on his face almost give him the appearance of some sort of bestial demon.

Nathan tears through them like nothing until only two are left; he throws an axe square at one with all the strength he can muster, then charges behind it, leaping over the zombie thing moments before he would have slammed into it. On his descent, he grabs his other axe with both hands and brings the blade down into the head of the last one standing (the other having, reasonably, been dispatched by the axe had thrown moments before).


Aw, but now he has nothing to kill. So now he stands there like a moron, his eyes still aflame.]

Brutal.

Comments

[onehundredbeers]

[Nathan grins at That Guy.]

Hell yeah it was!

[smolderingdark.livejournal.com]

[Another zombie comes lumbering up behind Axel. Without even turning around, or losing his smile, he snaps his fingers and incinerates it with such precision that there is nothing left to swing at him when the bones hit the floor.]

Have you heard anything about someone who might've, oh, I dunno, answered a question wrong and got us all stuck here?

[onehundredbeers]

[Nathan watches with sort of shocked amusement, then remembers to grab his axes.]

Uhhhhhhhhhh, no. Nobody I know was, um, asked anything.

[He awkwardly hangs the axes from his belt, he rigged up a makeshift thing for that, because ugh carrying them.]

Then again, uh, most of the- most of the people I know? Can't come here, because they're fucking- they are fucking dicks who aren't answering their fucking phones.

[smolderingdark.livejournal.com]

Oh well.

[Axel's eyebrow goes up.]

I don't think that's them. We are kind of in another dimension.

[onehundredbeers]

[Nathan crosses his arms.]

Whatever it is, it's fucking bullshit. And this? This is fucking not cool.

Uh, I mean... the stuff that isn't... killing monsters. That's pretty awesome. Everything else, that, uh, that fucking sucks dick.

[smolderingdark.livejournal.com]

My life was exciting enough before this happened. Now it turns out I get to kill monsters on my vacation, too. I mean, I can do it, but I've got a busy schedule. And I want to enjoy popcorn without having some rude zombie stick his hand in it. It just ruins the flavor, y'know?

awesome typo in that last one i wrote but it is gone now

[onehundredbeers]

Oh, dude, I know. I mean, fuck! I have- I have shit to do! Like... go... buy chips. And okay, you know what, I can't fucking buy chips here. I can get them for free but you know, maybe- maybe I want to fucking stimulate the economy! Pay some fucking douchebag three dollars for chips!

[Nathan is inviting you to complain with him, Axel.]

And, you- you know? I don't want to fight shit! I have... I have fucking employees to do that!

[smolderingdark.livejournal.com]

You gotta buy chips. And I gotta save the princess. It's like, maybe I want to act out the messed-up fairytale that's my life for once. But noooo, this place has got it out for me. For us, really.

[He smiles at that last part.]

You should stay inside the kitchen then, or the library. Don't go between the two without someone who can frag things or uses a sword as big as they are.

[onehundredbeers]

Well, I mean, I can fight shit. I just don't want to! My hair is a fucking mess! I gotta... I got to shampoo it... and brush it... and ugh I think I chipped my nail polish. Fucking bullshit.

[His poor nails.]

I am going to kick the ass of whoever- whoever, uh, broke shit. And did this. Because fuck them. I'm going to just... beat them unconscious.

[smolderingdark.livejournal.com]

[This just amuses the hell out of him. Here's this big manry guy and he's complaining about nail polish.]

If I screwed up and I had someone with giant battleaxes threatening my life, I'd hide too.

Just sayin'.

[onehundredbeers]

They better fucking hide! Ugh! Seriously, no, no, this is not cool. It is not cool to like... fucking kidnap me and stick me in the middle of fucking space without, like, all my money, and my booze, and my fucking, I don't know, a fucking change of clothes?!

[ANGRY!!!!]

Dude, do you know how fucking disgusting this whole situation is? Unless I want to look like a fucking homo, I have to wear the same fucking clothes every day. Same for ev- everyone else.

[smolderingdark.livejournal.com]

[Because you need money in space.]

Yeah, I know. Who handwashes chain pants anyway? No one, that's what. [He points to his hot topic pants.] I think I'm gonna end up washing them in the bathhouse tomorrow and just running around in a suit til it dries. I don't look bad in suits. They're just stupid tight.

This is also why wearing black solves all of your problems.

[onehundredbeers]

[Nathan nods a bit. He knows how much of a pain hot topic pants can be.]

Yeah, suits are pretty- pretty awesome, but, uh. Yeah. I need custom tailored shit. And no, no, black still stains. And I'd know.

[He pauses for a minute and then decides to introduce himself.]

So, uh, hey. I'm Nathan.

[smolderingdark.livejournal.com]

Ugh. Thinking back to some of the things I did in school-- yeah. You're right. [He shrugs and grins.] Nathan? As in the guy who wrote that other brochure?

I'm Axel. Nice to meet ya. [He offers a gloved hand.]

[onehundredbeers]

Yeah, that's me. Nathan Explosion.

[He shakes Axel's hand.]

So, uh. Your parents were Guns N' Roses fans?

[smolderingdark.livejournal.com]

I liked it a lot.

[He shoves his hands in his pockets afterwards.]

Never heard of 'em. Different worlds and all that.

[onehundredbeers]

Thanks. I, uh, tried to make it pretty simple. The other one, ugh, it was just sort of fucking condescending. I know the dude who set them up, though. He's... he's an okay guy.

[Nathan is shocked!!!]

It's, uh, a band. The lead singer is named Axl Rose.

[smolderingdark.livejournal.com]

That's how it goes, usually.

[And Axel is interested.]

Really. Any good? If it sounds like some guy playing a twig and a string with lap drums then I'm not interested.

[onehundredbeers]

Oh no, dude, they're pretty good. Different genre than what I sing, but no, pretty good to listen to.

[smolderingdark.livejournal.com]

Nice. When this is all over, you mind burning me a CD?

[onehundredbeers]

Yeah, no problem, man. I could just- I could just give you a bunch of their CDs. Seriously, I have- I have it all on MP3, what the fuck do I need CDs for?

[smolderingdark.livejournal.com]

Heh, thanks! I like having CDs, personally. My player's got a sticker from every band I ever listened to.

[onehundredbeers]

I got a laptop, and my dethphone can play mp3s, so it's like 'well what the fuck do I need CDs for? Fucking frisbee?'

Saves space though, I mean. You don't get, uh, a huge fucking... pile. Of CDs.

[smolderingdark.livejournal.com]

They can be used for all sorts of things when they're no good anymore. You ever watched one burn?

[onehundredbeers]

Oh man, screw that. I spend my time shooting guitars.