realityshifted | (no subject)

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life on mars (d1) sam tyler

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[sitting at a desk in the middle of the Astral Plane, working on his paperwork like a good little nancy boy. And, like a good little nancy boy, he's listening to a broadway musical. On the glasses Fumie gave him, to be specific.

In fact, he's singing along to one. Yes indeed, Sam's singing "If You Were Gay."]

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[sing-song, chidingly] You're name dropping.

[pouts a bit] I'm just saying she's very nice.

[again in that sing-song chiding voice] And you do it all the time.

"Oh, look, it's Beltuguese Minor! I've met Arthur Dent, yeah! Cromwell? Never been a fan. He's a bit too blood-thirsty for my taste. I need to drop by the Andromeda Galaxy to pick up some groceries..."

Bad, bad habit, Doctor. You should be ashamed.

[sulks on Sam's desk] What am I supposed to talk about then?

[Sam's desk is actually quite use to people sulking, so it's all right with this] What normal people talk about, maybe.

Like what?

Same sorts of things, actually, with a bit less of the name-dropping.

Well it's not like I sit here and think, 'wonder what names I can toss into this sentence?'. Just sort of happens.

So it's a bad habit.

How's it bad, though?

It gives you all sorts of leave to talk while the other person gets to listen to your fantastic tales. Bad for conversations.

[honestly really confused] I thought that's what a conversation is? Talk, listen, talk, listen?

Not when the talking and the listening aren't properly distributed between parties.

Bit like math! Or logic. The laws of distribution.

A bit like that, I suppose.

All right! Well then, Sam. Show me a proper conversation.

I can't; it's a two person thing.

Then start one with me?

All right.

Hey, Doctor. How're things going?

Uhm, the dolphins lobbed a coconut at me today.

Did it hit?

Yeah, it did. [rubs his head] They wanted my attention but hell there's better ways.

What did they want you for?

Oh, wanted to ask me about sending a scouting party out into the deeper waters to talk to the Orcas. We haven't managed to convince them into a cease fire. Well, not a literal cease fire.

What's a literal cease fire? As opposed to a figurative one?