realityshifted | (no subject)

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life on mars (d1) sam tyler

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[sitting at a desk in the middle of the Astral Plane, working on his paperwork like a good little nancy boy. And, like a good little nancy boy, he's listening to a broadway musical. On the glasses Fumie gave him, to be specific.

In fact, he's singing along to one. Yes indeed, Sam's singing "If You Were Gay."]

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[amused] Why thank you, Guv. And you liked the Wish You Were Here album, too. Looks like you'll be a Pink Floyd fan one day.

[just grumbles] Yeah yeah. What's the other one like?

Pulp? Don't know if that'd be to your taste, but I like it. [switches the Pulp album on]

[listens about ten seconds before making a face] Turn it to something else.

All right. [switches to one of Whittaker's post-'73 albums]

[grins listening to it and kicks his feet up on the table] Now that's better. Don't know why you listen to that other crap when you've got this. Still not as good as Bowie, though.

[scowls and moves a pile of paperwork away from Gene's offending feet] You could watch where you put those. I've got these papers organised.

A little mud's not gonna bother 'em, Gladys. [pokes a pile with his toe to demonstrate]

[rolls his eyes and just barely resists slamming the stapler onto Gene's foot] And that is why I prefer to do my paperwork here.

Maybe you should stop worrying about getting your bloody paperwork done and focus more on living a bit, Dorothy. You spend more time here than anywhere else. Can't be good for you.

Do you want to tell me to go outside and get more sunlight, too? Perhaps a lecture on eating my fruits and vegetables?

The hell would I want you to go outside? [claps him on the shoulder] Pub's the best place for you.

[snorts] Worst place for my liver. And yours. Particularly yours after Lapis and Lazuli fixed it up for you.

I'd like my insides to feel right and proper again, thank you. Bloody freaks messed everything up.

Since when were cirrhosis and pancreatitis 'right and proper'?

Since that's how I bloody well was before those Twins got hold of me.

Damn them for bringing you back to life, eh?

They could have left everything the way it was when they did it.

No, they couldn't've. Not with the state [one little pause, and that's all the sign he'll give] your body was in when I found it.

...you never did tell me what happened. Not fully.

[looks down] What do you want to know?

I know the bastard ate me and you were a nonce and sold yourself to those bloody Twins, but you never really explained how you found me. How you knew what happened.

[looks down, tapping the desk with a pen for a long, long moment]

I saw him kill you on my television. Saw him... saw you provoke him, you daft clown. I don't know - sometimes things like that happen. I'd think I was mad if I didn't know they were true.

...you saw it. On the telly. [rubs his face] I thought you were making that shit up, Tyler. What the hell else do you see on that thing? Got a good look at the ladies' loo? [slightly more serious] And if you saw it, why didn't you nab the bloke?

Why don't you nick the other one for killing me? Because you can't. Well neither can I. Forget evidence, we don't have any power.