realityshifted | Survival Horror!!!!

[Deathmatches? Whatever, who cares. You know what really matters? Video Games. In fact, Ray and Chris care very much about this video game. It's Resident Evil 3 if you must know. They're sitting on a couch with a table between them and the TV. Said table already has a few beers finished or half-finished along with bags of crisps and various snack foods.

Ray is the one with the controller but they're both very into the game at the moment. Should you disturb them? Well, take a listen and see!]

[Chris has a hand on Ray's shoulder for moral support.] Uh, no, no, Ray, you gotta get behind the desk! 'Cos it can't fire through it. Ray!

I'm behind the bloody desk! Look! Desk! I'm runnin' into the damn thing! [totally running into the desk for emphasis!!!]

Maybe you need to run into it more? Oh, shit, he's gonna fire! You gotta run!

I can't run if you're yellin' at me! [attempt at dodging the rocket!!! attempt successful!!!] Shit, I don't think me bullets're goin' over the desk or sommat.

[Making vague and wild hand gestures.] Try the grenades! The launcher thing. It'll launch'em like...over it.

We already used those on the stairs, div! Okay, I think... maybe if when he's shootin', I go 'round the desk, shoot him, then go back behind it.

Yeah, yeah, do that, just careful 'cos he's a fast bastard.

[Who cares if they're fighting Nemesis? Bug them anyway! There's tons of beer and food at least?]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[mmmm, cigs]

So. Where'd you find somethin' like this to play?

Mate of ours, from the future. He ain't a prat 'bout it, so he don't usually mention it none. Just every so often he gets a game or a movie and we piss about.

And which mate is this?

[Gene, jealous? nevar]

Name's... James or Thomas or somethin' like that. [He lights up and passes his zippo to Gene.] Dunno, he's one of those guys whose name you forget pretty easily. He don't stick out much, don't really try to get any attention...

[Ray shrugs.]

He's alright aside from that. Good at darts. Almost beat me in a round once.

[likewise lights up, tossing the zippo back to Ray and taking a casual seat on the sofa. 'sup Chris]

No one I know, then? [glances at the game] And you like this shite?

Don't think you know him.

[But Ray nods.]

Yeah, s'alright. I ignore most of the talkin' and the readin' and all, just like shootin' things. Tom mentioned that some point, you can shoot a helicopter down with a rocket launcher if you can find it.

[Ray seems sort of amused with that idea.]

[okay, even Gene is impressed with that feat, though he won't admit it]

So you get to be scum in this game, or just an armed bastard?

Armed bastard. Usually the people you play are coppers and all. Think the only one what wasn't was Claire, in the second one.

Yeah? And what, you just go 'round offing blokes or what?

Zombies. Usually if there's other people, the game wants you to save 'em. Like in the first game, this girl named Rebecca, when you're playin' as Chris Redfield. Don't save her, and you get a bad endin' or sommat cause you don't get to fight the last boss.

[saving people? Gene can dig that]

And these zombies, you can kick their arses all you want?

Yeah. Sometimes they respawn - means they just randomly reappear - so you can kill 'em over again.

[Ray sits on the end of the sofa, grabs the controller, and unpauses the game to explain more.]

Right. Now, I'm fightin' this bloke Nemesis. He's the big bad of this game, an' a right pain to beat. You can run away like some soddin' girl if you want [Ray ignores Jill is a girl.] or you can kill him, and get stuff for doin' it.

[And suddenly, ROCKET. Ray dodges.]

[Gene just nods, watching what Ray does. he won't admit he's intrigued, damnit. but oh, he is]

No sense in running from the scum, right.

Aye. First time we beat him, it was outside the police department. But he came back, so now we're fightin' in one of the desk rooms.

[Ray leaps out behind the desk and fires the shotgun at Nemesis a few times before strafing back behind it to prevent Nemesis from charging.]

Though these games don't know shit 'bout police stations - or ones in the future are ass backwards. "Yeah, let's get 'bout fifty different keys to open up locks on doors, and oh yeah, don't forget, we gotta do some fancy puzzle just so you can get into your own guv's office." Don't imagine any of 'em get anythin' done.

You sure they aren't just some Yankee offices? I hear they're ass backwards, anyway.

Aye, they are.

[He sniffs a bit and continues fighting Nemesis.]

But I mean, shit, know Yanks don't do things right, but how the hell could they mess up that bad? I mean, I understood it in the first one - all the puzzles were in a mansion, an' like... the mansion was the cover for the company what was makin' the zombies. So you gotta have really messed up stuff so people don't get in.

But havin' to find a gem and shove around statues and some other shit just to get to your office, guv?

Might keep the rabble out when I'm having a pint. [pointed look, but he's just teasing] Can't say it don't have some appeal, though. Think of the things we could make the scum we bring in go through.

[Ray chuckles a bit at that. And in the game, Nemesis moves into the next phase, ditching his rocket launcher to instead try to run through the desk to try to get to Jill.]

Wouldn't be as fun as just givin' 'em a few good punches, though.

Nothin' is, Raymondo. Nothin' is.

[Ah shit, Nemesis got behind the desk and is now playing adventures of HAHA YOU GONNA DIE as Ray button mashes senselessly.]

Nothin' against you, guv, but if you ever did put some bullshit puzzles 'round CID, think I'd have to break 'em all. [He gives Gene a smug, amused grin.] Like hell I'm gonna spend ages tryin' to figure out how to get into Lost and Found when I can just bust the damn thing.

If I put puzzles 'round CID, I wouldn't be in charge anymore, I promise you that.

[YOU DIED.

Time to reload. Sodding bastard.]

Yeah, think somebody'd have you put in the looney bin by then, guv. "Dunno what went wrong with him, just suddenly he started makin' everythin' be all maths stuff and bloody poetry."

If I go that far, I fully expect one of you to take me out back and shoot me.

[Ray considers it.]

Probably be better that way. If I ever hafta, I'll put it down in the police report. 'The guv requested he get shot if he ever goes absolutely bonkers.'

Let's see someone try and stop me too, yeah?

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