realityshifted | Second Heist - With New Villain GLaDOS

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Second Heist - With New Villain GLaDOS

Here it is.

[Billy has made a new 'ally.' A robotic villainous ally by the name of GLaDOS. For the past quarter of an hour or so, dorky, slouchy Billy has traversed the plane with several strange sights in tow. First, there is his bulging duffel bag slung over his shoulder. If one looks closely enough, it appears to be moving and clanging around of its own accord. Next, there is his bulging sweatshirt pocket. Who knows what he stuffs in those bottomless depths?

And finally, most strange of all is the round robot trailing behind him. He's carrying on a hushed conversation with the bot, and for all intents and purposes he looks like he's mumbling to himself.

The strange duo's journey ended in front of a plain jane building, nothing remarkable about it. Except for the fact that there is little surrounding it. Perhaps the Japanese bus station a little ways away, or the Astral Bar beyond that. But otherwise? Fairly unremarkable and unmemorable.

Billy glances around the plane self-consciously, fumbles with a set of keys in his pocket and unlocks the front door. Oh his way inside with the bot, he asks,]

So what kind of testing are you looking to do?

[And the door drifts mostly shut behind them, follows by a loud crash and some more metallic clangs.]

((OOC: GLaDOS and Billy are bonding over Evil, World Domination, Technology and Cake. Also, Billy is adding the finishing touches to his Plane Lab in this lovely inconspicuous building. You may not fully catch what they're discussing, but please feel free to bestow them with gratuitous interruptions. For the lol, of course.))

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['Jo', on the other hand, looks pretty much unbothered by this. Sipping at water, so on and so forth.]

Not all of them, but a few of us do. Encountering variations in species in a Plane that connects multiple realities can't be all that surprising, can it?

Oh, it is not very surprising at all. I have also met something that refers to itself as a Time Travel Capsule, though I do not know what that means. Out of sheer curiosity, what species are you? I hope you are an alien. I have always wanted to meet an alien.

Wow. Is she right? I never would have guessed that you're not human.

[But it does make sense. Multiple realities, parallel dimensions - maybe humanity takes a different shape in other worlds.]

That's... pretty cool.

[By this point, she's rather curious as to what she'll find out if she remains on more or less friendly terms with these two, so she might as well keep up the charade.]

Kasterboran.

[...And with any luck, Brax won't have mentioned the constellation, or that's something of a pickle. Billy's reaction does earn him a few brownie points, regardless. Humans can be so endearing, even if they're quite possibly somewhat evil.]

Would that be the species capable of advanced force-field technology able to block rayguns? [Yes, GLaDOS is totally wrong.]

.......

[Billy hits back the rest of his water and turns to Jo.]

Need a refill?

[Billy could use one. Maybe spike it with a little bit of vodka.]

[She seems genuinely puzzled by this.] - I beg your pardon?

[Poor Billy, so traumatized by her older ... acquaintance of dubious relation.] I could use a little, thank you.

[See, GLaDOS recalls Brax being able to use some sort of force-field to defend himself. She also recalls him refusing to admit what his race was. Add the two together...] Fascinating. Why do you two refuse to admit your true race? I do not care if you are a deity, I think I may have already met one. It is simple fairness. You know both our species. Go on, then...

[Billy takes her glass and opens his mouth. He looks like he's going to make a gallant attempt at saying something!

But it comes out at as little more than an unintelligible mumble. He thinks better of it, shuts his mouth and goes about refilling those glasses. He mutters to himself, and whether or not the others will hear them will depend on their auditory sensitivity.]

Does it really matter what the species is called...?

[Now there's the sound of running water in the kitchen.]

Edited 2010-05-18 02:16 (UTC)

[Well, it was nice while it lasted.]

Do we, really? So you mentioned what makes up your programming, what series you are, or even what year you're from?

I will tell you and then you will tell me. I'm sorry. You are obviously a nice person and I don't want this to get in the way of our relationship. GLaDOS. Genetic Lifeform and Disk Operating System. Made in 1982 and activated in May 2007. Created and programmed by... Doug. Doug Rattman. Among others. From Aperture Science Labs. See, I played fair. Oh, and this is Billy. He's just a human. So? Your turn. And please don't try to weasel out of this because I like you.

[May 2007...

Huh. Not too long before Billy became seriously operational as Dr. Horrible. He briefly considers crushing some sleeping pills into Jo's water to end this, already.

Billy returns with the two glasses of water and awkwardly hands hers back.]

Doug must have been a genius. [He helps himself to a seat on the couch, hunching over his glass.] I thought you were from... I don't know, a later time.

I'm from the constellation of Kasterborous, the Shining World of the Seven Systems. It's all very pompous and grand - the Continent of Wild Endeavour, can you imagine? It's hardly fitting to my people. I was born under the sign of Crossed Computers, if that's relevant to your data collection. [She sips the water, ready to metabolize anything not meant to be in water.] 1982, really? That's quite a ways from the pattern of technological development I've observed on Earth.

I suppose I must be forced to believe you. The issue is that I do not understand why it is an important piece of information. I met another one of whatever you are. He refused to tell me what he was. You understand the suspicion that raised, obviously. I apologize for causing the hassle. Of course, if you have any more information I'll be glad to hear it.

Yes, Billy. Doug was a genius. He... Yes. He was. But he didn't understand the project's importance. He became too concerned with other things. It was a problem. But it is fixed! And he is better. [And dead, too!] I was only a DOS at 1982. v.107, the others having been sandboxed. Then they worked on the GL aspect. And now I am fully equipped as an artificial intelligence. We had help, of course. From... Them. Not purposefully, but we learned from their technology. Extraterrestrial interference, they called it. A gift from the stars. But I'm sure you know all about those. [Another bot comes up and hands Billy some tea, with a sign on it saying "relaxant."]

Wait, aliens programmed your A.I.?

[You know, that bot is actually really cute. It elicits a grin out of him, and he decides to accept the tea. Hopefully that stuff isn't spiked with sleeping pills or anything.]

... Never mind the compliment. Sorry, Doug.

[Some DNA or blood samples, and/or examining one of GLaDOS's cores in greater detail would be much more useful to him than any labels at this point.]

And what aliens are those?

[Oh, don't mind her, she's just curious. Mm-hmm. Wouldn't anyone be? But really, this could be explaining quite a bit.]

Them. No. They did not program me. They are against us and we are against them. The best fighter learns from his enemy. We took their corpses and weapons and technology and grew from it. Of course, that was only later. That is where some of the portal technology and my cores originate from. Before that I was still fully operational, as was the gun. Their technology only... simplified things. For instance, it gave me higher randomization factors, which is what accounts for my scintillating conversational skills. Myself, though... that was Doug. Insane, others called him. So was Galileo. And Socrates. He was a genius. [There is pride in the voice, but also... hate.]

But enough of me. I am very interested, as you might guess, in aliens. What is your home like? How has Science [you can hear the capital] progressed?

Yeah. And Einstein.

[People in his world didn't even remember what a great scientist Einstein was. He remembers being the only kid on the block that even recognized the name as historically significant.

He sips his tea. Despite his nerves, he's pretty interested in what Jo has to say. Especially the Science part.]

Relativity. [With an approving nod.] His theories need tweaking, of course, but very advanced for his time. And a lovely man.

Pardon me for belaying my turn, but alien invasions - especially of Earth, have you any idea how many times Earth has been invaded? - is something of an interest of mine. Could you give me more details? Did they, for instant, have a species name?

You had association with Einstein?

Of course. As usual, information for information. Perhaps you are an undercover lawyer. Or perhaps not. Very well. There have long been organizations dedicated to learning from aline technology. The Xen crystals, for instance, gave us the knowledge of zero-point energy manipulation. I'm sure you're familiar with that; you sound smart. However, there were no recorded events of actual extraterrestrial occupation until May 16th, 200[static]. They came. The [what follows is what sounds like radio fizz, but distinguishable are the words "them," "censored," and, if you have a really good ear, "com-".] Honestly, it wasn't our fault at all. It was those stupid people at Black Mesa. If we had had our way, whhhicchhh we diiiiiiddddd Then there would have been more cake and less invasion. But obviously they were good for us. They are our Universal Benefactors. I believe they exist... outside. I've never seen them, obviously, as they exist on a different plane of corporeality.

So? Your turn. Also, I would like to know how you knew Einstein. But first tell me about your world.

[And again, Billy finds himself without much to say. This is both good and bad for him. Sure, it makes him look like even more of a loser dork that can't seem to spit out his words, but on the other hand, it gives him the illusion of harmlessness.

Now excuse Billy while he nerds out.]

Relativity is only Einstein's most famous contribution, and even then, most people don't even know what it means. He pretty much revolutionized a-priori physics. I assume you're familiar with his principle of equivalence and his work in thermodynamics and light. You know, him introducing the photon concept and the Einstein solid model.

Sure, his theories are flawed, but even geniuses make mistakes. He's still one of the greatest scientific minds in all of history, and now it's just a matter of us taking his work and correcting it. Expanding some of it, in other cases.

... Not to knock Isaac Newton or anything.

[Okay, so he had more to say than he initially thought. Oops.

Billy pauses. If Jo really knew Einstein in the flesh... He would have thought it crazy a few weeks ago. But from what he knows now about different worlds, he's not so sure anymore. He does remember that Irving Braxiatel all but stated that he's familiar with time travel in some form or another. He chews on his lower lip.]

Did you really meet Einstein? In person?

Edited 2010-05-18 04:51 (UTC)

[Beg your pardon, GLaDOS, but while she mulls over your information, she'll go with what appears to be the most popular (and least harmful) topic of conversation.]

I did, yes. As I said, lovely man. We met while he was still in the patent office, of course, but full of brilliance. Evaluating electromagnetic devices, if I remember correctly. I gave him a few pointers on the application. [Because no matter the Doctor, no matter the circumstances, she can never quite resist being a show-off.]

...hmm... [Probably the most mechanical noise you've heard GLaDOS make, it sounds like two DVDs have been stuck in one DVD player.] You must know the Time Traveling Capsule thing, then.

That could have had a large impact upon history. Are there -Protocols [the way she says it makes it clear that this is the first time she has said it without first say Test-] limiting the alteration of historical events? That sounds like it could be a problem, possibly. Altering time is never a good idea.

[Come on, Billy. Let's have some Penny angst!]

Altering time. [Billy can't help but think of his Freeze Ray sitting so nicely in the back of his lab.] Yeah, that's a Horrible idea.

... What's this about a time machine?

[She could just be really old, you know. Still, the things Billy would potentially do with a time machine are fairly limitless, and one event comes to the fore of his mind when he considers it.

He'll be sipping his tea now, scrunching further into his hoodie. That relaxant needs to course through his system STAT.]

Edited 2010-05-18 05:30 (UTC)

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MUSAPIC time!

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