on a wine-soaked strobe-lit Asiatic hall of mirrors {and a dash of loneliness}

[savagestime.livejournal.com]

[The Master is turning a small metal orb in his hands]

Centuries of dedication to the fine art of technical mechanics, and I turn it to this. How altruistic can I get?

[He tosses the orb into the air, where it sets up a four-dimensional projection of these words in flashing, 3D neon lights:

Ten-thousand-year-old immortal seeks dominating politician for ice cream binges, pioneering new societies, and snuggling. Must know some amount of science, enjoy genocide, and be tolerant of multiple personality disorder. Megalomania a plus. Magic-users need not apply.

Please send any inquiries via plane post box to Omega, The Engineer of Rassilon. Submissions without pictures will receive no reply.

This particular bout of literally mocking his own ancestor done with, the Master grabs a big, comfy chair to sit in and starts on his bag of popcorn]

[The poster of this entry takes no responsibility for Omega being Rather Cross any respondents.]

Comments

[savagestime.livejournal.com]

Invariably, yes. They're as low as low can get.

[hostclubdaddy.livejournal.com]

You must have a very open minded society if you're willing to give lower classes that kind of political power. Well done!

[savagestime.livejournal.com]

We Gallifreyans think of ourselves as the founders of all democracies.

[hostclubdaddy.livejournal.com]

What a noble legacy!

Hm. I guess that means the Doctor was a high profile politician on Gallifrey.

[savagestime.livejournal.com]

...sorry, what?

[hostclubdaddy.livejournal.com]

It's clear by the rules of your society he must be a high profile politician.

After all, he is a commoner, isn't he?

It's the only explanation for his attire. It's clearly a testament to the Commoner's Clearance Sale Mentality!

[savagestime.livejournal.com]

[a beat, and then] Oh, very good. That's precisely him.

[hostclubdaddy.livejournal.com]

I thought so, I am an excellent judge of character.

[looks at the popcorn thoughtfully and then back at the Master]

But you don't have anything to drink. You must be thirsty.

[he drops, and then returns with a table with tea and cakes on it]

I would have offered instant coffee as well, but I haven't yet mastered that art. I can offer you tea, though, and perhaps some cakes if you're looking for something sweeter.

[savagestime.livejournal.com]

[he raises his eyebrows, but hell yeah, he'll take that] Do you all do that?

[hostclubdaddy.livejournal.com]

Do what?

[looks up from making the tea]

Cream and sugar?

[savagestime.livejournal.com]

Serve people food.

No cream, five sugars.

[hostclubdaddy.livejournal.com]

Sometimes, yes. After all, it is one of the roles of a good host.

[and serves the Master his tea]

You must really enjoy very sweet things.

[savagestime.livejournal.com]

Yes. That hosting. What's that about?

[hostclubdaddy.livejournal.com]

Ah well, Ouran Private Academy is defined by one, prestigious families, and two, wealth. And prosperous people have much time on their hands. Therefore, the Ouran Host Club is about these handsome guys that have time giving hospitality to these lovely ladies that also have time, and profit off of them. It's an elegant game unique to our super-rich school.

[savagestime.livejournal.com]

You say that a lot, don't you?

[hostclubdaddy.livejournal.com]

I can't deny it, I do! It would be a waste not to get as much use as possible out of such a heartwarming speech. Such a noble and fulfilling past time deserves beautiful and aesthetically pleasing words to define its goals. It's my duty as president to spread this message, after all.

[savagestime.livejournal.com]

'Heartwarming' isn't the first word that jumps to mind. More like 'vapid.'

[hostclubdaddy.livejournal.com]

[he almost protests all this, but then he remembers not only is this an adult, but more importantly an alien adult]

Ah, then clearly something must have been lost in the translation.

We are hoping to host an event here in the coming days. It will be a great opportunity for you to experience the charms and appeal of the Host Club in action. [thoughtfully] Ah, well, some of the Host Club, anyway.

[brighly] We'll be hosting a Tanabata themed event first! What could be better than hosting an event about the stars in such a starry setting?

[savagestime.livejournal.com]

[a beat]

Really.. You are perhaps the most remarkable human being I've ever met.

[this is not a compliment]

[hostclubdaddy.livejournal.com]

[well he's taking it as a compliment, in fact he's practically glowing and sparkling and things]

Of course you would say that. I'm not too surprised!

[and comes slightly back down to earth...or Plane...whatever the case may be. He starts making himself some tea]

Do you know many humans?

[savagestime.livejournal.com]

[callously] Millions of them.

[hostclubdaddy.livejournal.com]

Such a high number and I'm the most remarkable. Hardly surprising.

You must have a very active lifestyle to meet so many people.

[savagestime.livejournal.com]

I get around. Prime Minister of Great Britain and all that.

[hostclubdaddy.livejournal.com]

You must be from the future then! You don't look like Tony Blair or any other -

Ah, but wait, don't you have to be British to be Prime Minister?

[because that is the important detail]

[savagestime.livejournal.com]

[solemnly] My life began in Britain.