★★★1

[didorothy]

Oh, great. Wonderful. Fantastic. Bloody geniuses, the lot of you! What was it this time? Come on, tell me. Ring me up! Oh, but no, no radio here, no telly. Will the stars sing out the answer? A heavenly chorus of medical malpractice? What sort of drug did you overdose me on this time?

Well, come on! [hits himself on the head] Where’s the television? I need to see how the rest of this case plays out. I just want to go– [disappears for a moment, before reappearing]

...

All right, so maybe it isn’t drugs.

Comments

[didorothy]

.... Guv? What - what are you doing here?

[theguv.livejournal.com]

How the bloody hell should I know? [smacks him upside the head] I went to bed last night on the couch and woke up outside some piss shit store I'd never seen before. I figure it's gotta be a nightmare 'cause you're here, you bleedin' nonce.

[didorothy]

Helpful as always, Guv. Okay, okay, so... So you're here, so it's definitely not a dream. And I can get back to Manchester if I just... do it. It shouldn't be hard for you, Guv - no thinking involved. This is the same place where I talked to that woman, or at least it looks like it...

[theguv.livejournal.com]

Wait just one minute there, Tyler. Just what the hell do you mean, no thinkin' involved? Keep that up and I'll give you somethin' to think about, we understood, D. I.?

And I don't remember seein' any bird.

[didorothy]

Yeah, you were probably too pissed to remember her. Sault, Meredith Sault. Wears a robe, looks like a Jedi. Ring any bells?

[theguv.livejournal.com]

Can't say that she does. She some hippie bird or somethin'? That's gotta be the worst name I've ever heard, bloody hell.

[didorothy]

It's French, Guv. The surname, that is. Her first name's Welsh. And she's not a hippie. ...probably. She didn't sound like one.

[theguv.livejournal.com]

...that's supposed to make it better how? I'd rather she be a hippie bird than some carpet-munching Frenchie, Tyler.

[didorothy]

If it makes you feel any better, she didn't have a French accent.

[theguv.livejournal.com]

It gives her points, Tyler.

So. She got nice tits?

[didorothy]

Sorry, Guv; wasn't paying much attention to her breasts. I was a bit busy trying to figure out why I appeared to be walking through space.

[theguv.livejournal.com]

Tyler, in case you haven't noticed, the rest of us have always known you're in space. 'bout time you caught on. [Gene!pout] So if she didn't have good tits, what did she have? For investigative purposes, of course.

[didorothy]

I mean literally, in space. [holds his arms out to indicate the space they are in] Or have you not noticed? [ignoring Gene's 'investigative purposes']

[theguv.livejournal.com]

[looks around, lips pursed] ...right. So. [turns back to Sam and grabs his collar, dragging him close] I don't remember giving you permission to drag me into your Goddamn fantasies, Tyler. Where the hell are we?

[didorothy]

[so used to this that he barely flinches] Oh, fine, just go and blame me. No need to upset the status quo! I don't know where we are, Guv. If I did I would have told you.

[theguv.livejournal.com]

What else are you good for, Tyler? [snorts and shoves him away, rubbing his nose and stuffing his hands in his pockets] Right, well. First things first, we've gotta find a way out of this decrepit piece of shit...place. Any ideas, Tyler?

[didorothy]

Just think yourself off. Except you don't think, because you don't think about moving you're hand, that's just stupid. Just... go back. Like this. [disappears, and then reappears] It's easy.

[theguv.livejournal.com]

[stares, then rubs his face, breathing deeply] Right, right. Uh... [tries, fails] Bloody hell. What do you mean, go back? To what? Kansas?

[didorothy]

[muttering] Pretty much. [clearly] To Manchester. Unless there's somewhere else you'd go back to? Come on, Guv. It's as easy as downing a pint. Don't think about it - just do it.

[theguv.livejournal.com]

[glares, but closes his eyes, thinking about home and the pub. opens them and, boom, that's exactly where he is. with no Tyler. so, uh...goes back. reluctantly] Oi, Gladys! Stop dawdling and get your ass moving. We've got a date at the pub.

[didorothy]

Yeah, but... can't we look around a bit more?

[theguv.livejournal.com]

What more do you want than a pub? You act like there's more important things.

[didorothy]

It might be helpful to find out what this place is.

[theguv.livejournal.com]

And it can wait until I'm good and bloody cocked. Now come on.

[didorothy]

Fine. But I'm coming back as soon as you're done. [and let's all note that Nelson is going to stare when Sam orders a round for the Guv, and the Guv isn't there]