(no subject)

[thepiemaker-ned.livejournal.com]

[The Pie Maker entering the Plane is twenty-nine years, twenty-three weeks, two days, and forty-six minutes old and flustered. He has just come from the Papen County mortuary, after having met one Matthew Miltinberger, a man who had been found stabbed in a public restroom. Being stabbed being the traumatic event that it is, however, Mr. Miltinberger had not seen anything other than a strange mask reflected in the mirror before he had met his untimely demise. This was not what Emerson Cod had wanted to hear, and the Pie Maker had been taking great pains to convince the private detective that it wasn't all that bad.]

It's not all that bad. We have something to go on, which might be less than what we usually get, but we can't always expect people to remember who killed them. Dying's a very disturbing experience; they could forget, block it out, he might not even have known he was dead, which would have been worse, because we wouldn't have any idea what this person looked like. Okay, so he might have been wearing a mask, but still...

[Ned frowns suddenly, having noticed something quite off.] ... I have a bell on my door. It tells me when people are coming into my shop. It's happy and jingly and makes my customers feel like they're welcome here, and I like that. ... But I didn't hear my bell, so... [He looks around.] This isn't the Pie Hole. [He turns around.] Emerson? Chuck? Chuck!? [... Butbutbutbut... he only just got her back!] Chuck!

[... D:]

[ooc: Retconned, btw. Ned enters from the end of "Pie-lette" now.]

Comments

[scienceandgod.livejournal.com]

Are you looking for someone?

[thepiemaker-ned.livejournal.com]

[Gah.] Uhm... yes. She's uh... Chuck? Wavy dark brown hair? Her name's Chuck. Well, not really, actually, I'm the only one who-... well now other people do too, but mostly it's Chuck. I think it's mostly Chuck.

[scienceandgod.livejournal.com]

I haven't seen anyone fitting that sort of description. She's probably back in your reality.

[thepiemaker-ned.livejournal.com]

... But she's not a figment of my...

At least I hope she...

[D:!?!?]

[scienceandgod.livejournal.com]

No, no, nothing like that.

This isn't your world. This place is called the Astral Plane.

[brigadiertardis.livejournal.com]

Lost?

[thepiemaker-ned.livejournal.com]

Yes. No. Maybe. Yes.

... Both... in terms of location and me having... lost someone. ... Again.

[brigadiertardis.livejournal.com]

This place is the Astral Plane, if you were wondering.

As for your companion, that sounds like something you let happen more often than not.

[thepiemaker-ned.livejournal.com]

[The whosis what now?] So... not... the Pie Hole.

[D:] But Chuck. She's... I only just got her back. And it's really not that I lose her a lot, I just... well, she...

[dritte-tochter.livejournal.com]

[!!! he mentioned pie! and other things, but pie!]

Are you a baker, desu? [and this little, two-foot-tall Doll might be sidling up toward you now] Why would you care how stupid humans die?

[thepiemaker-ned.livejournal.com]

Uhm... I really don't see how being a baker means I don't care about humans dying...

[dritte-tochter.livejournal.com]

Well, you were talking like a detective, desu, but if you're a baker you can't be an investigator. Silly human.

[thepiemaker-ned.livejournal.com]

[Who is this person? Ned does not know. Her logic seems to be flawed. And insulting.] I am a detective. Part-time. Well, really I just have this partnership with a private detective, but I do detective things with him, and I still make pies.

[Uh, that probably didn't mean to come out with as many implications as it did, but he's flustered and worried right now, so forgive him.]

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

[runs in, dressed in a metallic scuba-gear suit]

What happened? Is someone hurt?

[only with the suit it sounds significantly more muffled!]

[thepiemaker-ned.livejournal.com]

[Muffled sounds makes for hard hearing! And so Ned is confused.]

... Sorry? I can't...

[He makes gesturing hands, waving them around his ears in a vaguely universal signal for 'I can't hear a word you're saying'.]

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

[oh, dear, as the Doctor frantically (impaired a bit by the suit) gestures back]

Have you lost your hearing? ARE. [gesture] YOU! [gesture] ALL RIGHT? [gesture gesture]

[thepiemaker-ned.livejournal.com]

[uh.]

I'M. FINE. [Frantic gesturing that in no way conveys that he is fine.]

Uhm. [Ned doesn't like shouting, but he does raise his voice.] DO YOU WANT SOME HELP WITH THAT HELMET?

[akumas-curse.livejournal.com]

It's alright, sir! Those people are fine, really.

[thepiemaker-ned.livejournal.com]

How do you know? They could just be out there, and Chuck could get kidnapped, or run over by a truck, or all sorts of dangerous things. And she's all alone in that terrifying world. ... Well, she's got Emerson, but mostly she's alone. Well, Olive too, but... Anyway.

[akumas-curse.livejournal.com]

{Allen holds up his hands}

Oh, I don't think there are any trucks here, though, sir. Um...I guess there are some dangerous things, but I doubt that "Chuck" is here. She's probably still at home.

[thepiemaker-ned.livejournal.com]

But this is home. At least, it was supposed to be home. It was supposed to be the Pie Hole.

[handfulofstraw.livejournal.com]

[you, Pie Maker Ned, do not look like the prime example of mental stability]

[so Dr Crane wants to meet you]

It's best to remain calm.

[thepiemaker-ned.livejournal.com]

I'm calm. I'm very calm. Can't you see how very calm I am?

[In pie maker speak, this means he's hyperventilating like a superpowered venting system. Yes, that was a rubbish simile.]

[handfulofstraw.livejournal.com]

I can, in fact. It's an impressive show. I can almost taste the norepinephrine.

[thepiemaker-ned.livejournal.com]

But I'm calm. Tranquil lakes and undisturbed patches of freshly fallen snow you see in the morning after a blizzard.