Astrophobia

[handfulofstraw.livejournal.com]

[Jonathan Crane, PhD, scans the Plane with bespectacled eyes in his very nice suit. To all appearances, the Plane has just won itself a new university professor]

Acrophobia would hardly be an irrational fear at present. Indeed, it would be very [takes a step] very [another step] practical. This is possibly one of the very few instances in a normal individual’s life where siderophobia might be considered rational as well. And so they would cease to be phobias.

Incongruous but coherent structure... far too lucid to be any breed of hallucination or dream. The idea of it being true space is out of the question, of course.

[picks up a discarded hat, examining it] The two most likely options are thus illusion or reality. I wonder which it is. [sets the hat down again and carries on his way]

Comments

[iamachurch.livejournal.com]

The United States of America, sir.

[handfulofstraw.livejournal.com]

[well]

A difference of great significance. Where is Statesota located, generally, in the United States?

[iamachurch.livejournal.com]

The middle! Or... well. Between Oklahoma, Kansas, Iowa, Missouri, and Arkansas. Those are all the states neighboring Statesota.

[handfulofstraw.livejournal.com]

I see. [not the heart of the bible belt, but...]

What do they teach you, Mr Puppington?

[iamachurch.livejournal.com]

Oh, all sorts of stuff. In history, we just finished going over how the founders of America came here to try to create a righteous Christian country away from the Europeans. And then there's math, that's really fun! And in biology, we're gonna start dissecting things soon. [He looks up for a moment, thinking of everything else.] And Coach Stopframe, for Gym, he's having me work on my track times, since he's counting on me! Oh, and English! Can't go wrong with good old English class!

[This possibly is not what Crane wants specifically, but still. Orel is thinking school here.]

[handfulofstraw.livejournal.com]

[let's start with the one where it's hardest to go wrong]

What do you learn in English?

[iamachurch.livejournal.com]

Vocabulary and sentence structure still. Spelling, too! Book reports... you know, normal English class stuff.

[handfulofstraw.livejournal.com]

Do you learn any literature in any of your classes?

[iamachurch.livejournal.com]

Uhm, a little? But it has to be approved by Miss Censordoll first. She's the librarian of the school.

[handfulofstraw.livejournal.com]

Censordoll? What does Miss Censordoll allow you to read? Other than, I would guess, the Bible?

[iamachurch.livejournal.com]

Well, last time I went in the library, I know on the recommended shelf she had "A Guide To Close-Mindedness", "Understanding: A Fool's Journey"... there was a third one, but I forgot it. [He scuffs his foot, then proceeds to rock back onto his heels.] In class though, we're reading a book called "The White Whip of Justice". We're only a chapter or two in though, and so far it's really neat, but I don't want to read ahead and know everything before everyone else.

[handfulofstraw.livejournal.com]

[Jonathan's only consoling thought: at least they read]

There are far better books for you than those to read. When I have the opportunity [ie, next time he breaks out of Arkham] I will get you some.

[iamachurch.livejournal.com]

Really? You'd do that?

[handfulofstraw.livejournal.com]

I am a professor, Mr Puppington. Literature may not be my speciality, but it is a great love of mine. You will have books.

[iamachurch.livejournal.com]

[Cue Orel being ecstatic!] Golly! Oh gee, mister! Like- like a bunch of books that aren't at my library? Like- gosh, I can't even think of any, but I bet there are a whole ton of books I've never even heard of!

[handfulofstraw.livejournal.com]

[it's been a long time since Scarecrow has heard anyone say 'golly' or 'gee']

You may have them as long as you do not damage them or lose them.

[iamachurch.livejournal.com]

Oh, I wouldn't! And if I did, I know I'd have to pay you back in full, because that's what you should do if you break someone's things. [He nods energetically.] When I wasn't reading, I'd probably put it with my other things I don't want broken or ruined or anything. Then I wouldn't have to worry about my little brother taking it and doing who knows what.

[handfulofstraw.livejournal.com]

It isn't about the money; it has everything to do with the value of the books themselves. Money is just a means for acquiring books.

[he likes books. Can you tell he likes books? Oh, does he like books]

[iamachurch.livejournal.com]

[Orel scuffs his foot again.] Yeah, but if a page got torn by Shapey, I still ought to pay you back for it. At least with the money, you could try to find somebody to fix it.

[handfulofstraw.livejournal.com]

[while Crane does not go 'aww,' I do]

What if you kept it here and read it here? Then your little brother couldn't do anything to it.

[iamachurch.livejournal.com]

[He nods.] Yeah, that would probably be better.

[handfulofstraw.livejournal.com]

Though you would need some place to keep the books I give you.

[iamachurch.livejournal.com]

Weeeeell... there is a lot of space around here... I bet it goes on for miles. There's probably places people don't go.

[handfulofstraw.livejournal.com]

[thoughtfully]

I suppose it doesn't have a library?

[iamachurch.livejournal.com]

I dunno. I haven't been here long, but I've looked around and explored a little, and didn't see one.