fourteenth trick

[crowheaded.livejournal.com]

[Ikki appears on the Plane without grand ceremony, without a straw stuck up his nose or any of the eccentricity and charm that accompanies his usual manner. His white shirt has smears of brown blood on it, probably from the bloody Rumble Regalia he's been clutching to himself for an hour.

He stands there motionless for a moment, then with something like a choked squeak, simply sinks where he is. Feet out, Regalia sitting in front of him, head bowed in memory to one of the first to draw out his potential.]

... damn it...

Comments

[crowheaded.livejournal.com]

[Ikki nods slightly.]

... First Spitfire-san, and now Yoshitsune-san. This Regalia was his. [It looks like a very bloody pair of A-Ts with jets stuck on them... which is pretty accurate.]

[contract_star]

[Hei's heart sinks.] I'm...sorry.

[crowheaded.livejournal.com]

He died standing up for me. Him and everyone on his team except for Benkei-san. How many more will have to die before I can reach the top?

I just... I want the killing the stop, Hei. I want it to stop. This is bigger than Air Treck. It's the whole world that's at stake, and Sora-san will kill anyone who won't let him have it.

[contract_star]

[Hei is silent for a long time. He's no good at this sort of thing. Especially not now, not when Misaki has gone and when he has been feeling like an empty shell ever since. Not when he himself can barely muster the energy to get up in the morning.]

[But he has to try. For Ikki's sake, and for his own. Other people are all Hei has. And they need him just as much as he needs them. Somewhere along the way, he forgot that.]

[After a long silence, he leans forward and lays his hands on Ikki's shoulders, looking Ikki in the face.]

Do you remember how, a long time ago, you used to tell me all the time that I needed to fight the Syndicate? And I always told you that it was impossible? I believed that for so long, but it was never impossible. Fighting is hard, but not impossible. It's hard because you lose things and see things and do things. And eventually you want to stop and give up, but...

[He shakes his head. He's having a hard time finding the words.]

But...you can't. We can't, the two of us. For different reasons, but we can't. It's not...really in our nature, is it? And so...

[He trails off and sighs. He knows he's failing at this, but still...]

The killing will stop, Ikki. One way or another, you'll make it stop, because...that's what you do. You'll avenge them. They won't have died in vain. And when you get there, you won't be alone. It's not all on you, even though it seems like it. So...

[That's all he's got. He sighs again and falls silent.]

[crowheaded.livejournal.com]

Hei-san...

[He's right, of course. Even when it's the down & out and it seems like everything's sliding downhill and can't stop, it'll all be okay. Somehow. Sooner or later. Because Ikki is hope. Hei... is hope. What they're doing is the embodiment of hope for the people who can't fight for themselves anymore.

Times like this, Ikki doesn't want to be the hope anymore. Not if it means that someone will have to die. Or a lot of people. He just wants to be free of everything, so much. But throwing a fit about it isn't going to avenge the people who died. It's not going to stop Sora's twisted dream of world domination, and it won't bring his friends and mentors back.

He doesn't say anything for a long time, but there's the slightest sniffle.]

I know. I know I will. I have to.

I'm just... I'm scared.

[contract_star]

[Hei watches him for awhile and then, not knowing what else to do, he pulls Ikki into a hug.]

It's alright to be scared. Having other people's lives in your hands, losing them...you'd have to be insane not to be scared of that. It's alright to not always be strong.

[crowheaded.livejournal.com]

[AWWWW. Ikki is totally receptive to the hug. Sometimes he really IS just fifteen years old.]

But I need to keep my team safe. And everyone else... He'd hurt you and Diva-san to get to me, I know it.

[contract_star]

[And Hei knows exactly what that's like, oh man does he know. It's the same sort of situation he was in back when he was living with them and the Syndicate would stop at nothing to get to him.]

You don't have to do it all on your own.

[crowheaded.livejournal.com]

[sniffle]

I know. I know. But Sora-san is my enemy. My team can take care of the rest.

I know how he fights, too. He's... the only other person who can manipulate the wind.

[contract_star]

Then you know what to expect. You can prepare yourself.

[crowheaded.livejournal.com]

... Yeah. I have to be able to take on anything.

[contract_star]

[Hei pulls away finally, though he doesn't quite let go.] You're not alone. Just remember that.

[crowheaded.livejournal.com]

[Finally, he attempts a small smile.]

I know. I'd be a hypocrite if I said I was.

Even so... being a leader is sometimes the loneliest thing in the world. You know you have everyone supporting you, but only you can direct the flight.

[contract_star]

I know. Trust me, I know. You have to convince yourself and your own team members that everything is alright, even when it isn't.

But...maybe that's what this place is for. To recover, collect yourself...so you can show a calm face to everyone when you return.

[crowheaded.livejournal.com]

... Yeah. Or seeing your best friends without letting people know.

[contract_star]

[He smiles, for the first time in weeks.]

[crowheaded.livejournal.com]

[It's like dawn breaking across Ikki's face, and the teen -- hugs him, because he can. ♥]

[contract_star]

[And Hei hugs Little Brother back.]

[crowheaded.livejournal.com]

[Judging by the fingers tightening in Hei's shirt, he might not be letting go for a while.]

[contract_star]

[Hei is completely fine with that.]