realityshifted | 01. And now for something completely different

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doctor who (df) the seventh doctor

01. And now for something completely different

[The Doctor is smiling happily and humming a Beatles song to himself.] Ah, The Beatles. Earth has produced quite the preeminent collection of musicians, though few compare to The Beatles. Oh, but I can't forget Miles Davis and John Coltrane, now, can I? Different favorites for different genres. I couldn't very well compare a rock 'n' roll band to jazz luminaries, it's hardly an even playing field. So to speak.

[Glancing at the food and drink he's precariously balancing in his hands, the Doctor ponders what he's currently holding.] I don't have the affinity for bacon sandwiches that Ace does, but chips are rather nice on occasion, and I must say, I do enjoy these chocolate malts. Far more delicious than carrot juice.

[At last, he realizes he's not on a street, or anywhere near Harry's Café, the place he only just left. It's hard to determine when exactly the scenery changed, but this is most certainly not where he's supposed to be. It's different, and he supposes it should be disconcerting, but with no sign of an immediate threat, he allows himself a moment to appreciate the view.] Well, this is peculiar.

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[:o He appears to be in need of at least one extra hand to carry all that stuff. It is a good thing that Dorothy has two.]

D'you need a hand with all that stuff?

[It's not his way to be distrusting, so while others might be reluctant to hand over a bag of delicious food and malts, the Doctor is only appreciative]

It would be helpful. If you could also tell me just where I am, precisely, I'd be even more grateful.

Here, let me--

[She takes a couple of malts, lightening his load, and smiles, all friendly-like]

Well, this here is called the Astral Plane, though most people just call it The Plane for short. It's sorta the inside of a machine, I guess, or that's what people tell me. It's a place that's... in-between universes, so all sorts of different people from all over the place end up here. It's ever so fun, you get to meet the most interesting types-- aliens and demons and talkin' animals and the like, and most of them are awful friendly. I'm Dorothy, by the way-- I'd shake your hand, but...

[She shakes the malts at him a little, grinning]

[He smiles back, because he likes friendly people, and now he doesn't have to worry about accidentally spilling the drinks]

The Plane? What purpose does it serve for an anomalous nexus between universes, and possibly timelines, to exist? Does there seem to be a purpose, from what you've experienced so far? Not that it wouldn't be fun, as you say, to meet others; it is fun, and I should know, because life consists mostly of doing just that. However, it seems odd that such a place would exist.

[All right, he'll stop rambling for a moment to introduce himself back now. It is the proper etiquette, after all]

I'm the Doctor. It's a pleasure to meet you, Dorothy. I have a good friend with the same name, although I'm careful never to call her that. In fact, I was on my way to bring her this food when I ended up here.

Well, I'm not sure, to be honest, but the Doctor says he thinks the Machine runs off us. Like we're all the batteries, or something, and us being here is just a component, not, y'know, what the Machine is for. But he tends to go all technobabble on me when I ask about his theories, so I always end up just smilin' and nodding. Anyway, it doesn't really hurt anybody, except when things go all... floopy, for a while.

[Oh! She beams.]

Another Doctor? Goodness, there really are a lot of you, aren't there? Not that I'm complaining, mind, you all seem to be awfully nice fellas so I can't rightly say one more's a bad thing. You'll have to go talk to the other Doctors, maybe you can help some of 'em.

[blink.] Oh, an' I guess I should tell you that the Master's here.

That would account for why more people would continue to appear here; more energy for the Machine to thrive on. But is it all part of a grander scheme? Are there more forces at work? Technobabble? Is that humans call it, or just you?

Floopy? What happens when things go...floopy?

[Of course, given his ego, he suffers from thinking that his current self is far superior to his other selves, but he refrains from making that point]

There could be a total of thirteen of me about. And that's not accounting for any versions of me which might appear from alternate timelines. I suppose it would be wise to converse with my other selves if I'm intent on discovering the nature of this place.

[Also, of course, since he's the only one who can really understand himself]

The Master? Is there just one, or more of him as well?

Dunno, really, but that's the Doctor's theory, I guess. And it's a technical term. [she nods.]

Well, people sorta... change, in little ways. Hop around in their timeline, turn into a horse, stuff like that. Usually they change back though!

Boy, it sure seems like there's thirteen Doctors 'round here. There's a couple of the tall skinny one, not counting the human one, then there's the one with the ears, the blonde one, um... there might be more. But they're all swell people!

Well, I've heard there is, but that information comes from the man himself, y'see, so I gotta take it with a grain of salt. Still, he's a nice enough guy, when he's not being, y'know, evil, and all.

[Hi, sorry, Dorothy is like, incapable of saying bad things about people.]

Then perhaps a force with authority and control over the Plane manipulates things occasionally, turning people into something else entirely, for its own amusement. I'll spend time examining this further, though I apparently don't have to tell you that. You've already met me many times over, and as you know by now, analysis and experimentation are only a few of my favorite things.

[The Master is 'nice enough'? Oh, dear]

Be wary of the Master, Dorothy, his charm belies his evil machinations. He's far more devious than you might initially realize.

[Amusing to note: the Doctor is also far more devious than he accepts, or even realizes]

Which one of the Master have you met? And he hasn't harmed you?

[The mind boggles]

Well, that and sweets. Namely, my baking. Remind me to bring you a pie someday.

[Well, he hasn't tried to kill HER (yet) and he hasn't tried to kill any of her friends on the plane (yet/that she knows of) so! Wouldn't be right to be unfriendly, would it?]

Oh, I know. Evil genius, genocide, megalomania, I know all that. He's pretty up-front about it.

[she ponders!]

Young-ish guy, not super-tall, great big grin. He says he's "the one without a beard", if that helps. And no, he hasn't tried to hurt me. Why would he? I haven't done anything to him. 'Sides, I think he likes me.

I haven't had a pie in ages. Not a proper one, anyway. And I'm safe in assuming that yours are only homemade, since you mention baking. I'm not particularly good at it myself, but from my observations, baking is an art form in and of itself. Not to mention, the results are more than worth the effort.

[Though the Doctor logically knows this, he can't help but be extremely cautious. Still, her friendliness is admirable and endears her to him, because it's such a rare thing]

Yes, I've met that one.

[The memory of meeting that one, and somewhat recently in fact, causes him to pause and frown. It wasn't a very pleasant time, and it's had lasting emotional effects on him]

And his logic doesn't quite work that way, though I suppose if he had no use for use as part of a grand, manipulative scheme, he wouldn't necessarily need to hurt you.

Well, I guarantee you my baking's at least worth a try! What flavor would you like? I'm guessing you're an apple sort of guy.

[she ponders this for a minute, then shrugs.]

Generally I find if somebody takes the time to give you a nickname, they're either not gonna try to kill you ever, or else plot your murder elaborately over a long period of time. That said, I've prob'ly got a long time before he thinks I'm enough of a threat to start tryin' to kill.

[.....a beat]

Not... that I'm a threat to anybody! Lord knows I'd never hurt anybody here.

[Unless they had it coming. >_>]

Your guess would be correct. [He smiles] Slightly heavier on the cinnamon than most seem to be prefer, however.

[Oddly enough, that makes the Doctor chuckle. It probably shouldn't, but he's old enough by now that he has to find the humor in things occasionally]

I believe he's been plotting my murder elaborately over many centuries, and I haven't seemed to earn a nickname yet. It would seem you're unique in that regard. What does he call you?

Well, we're similar there; I wouldn't hurt anybody either, if I could help it.

[And then he would be a very scary threat indeed...]

You have a good heart, Dorothy. [He smiles softly]

Wonderful! Extra cinnamon it is. I'll try and keep it from getting too sweet on you.

[She rubs the back of her neck, making a bit of a face]

He calls me "Princess". I mean, I am a princess, technically, but nobody calls me that! I think he only does it 'cuz he knows it annoys me.

[laughing]

Aw, you think so? You only just met me! But it's awful nice of you to say.

I'm told I have an excessively sweet tooth, so you needn't be too careful about that sort of thing.

Ah, yes, much like the behavior I've observed between human siblings; when one wishes to antagonize the other, they may refer to them by a loathed nickname. I hadn't realized you were a princess. Where do you come from?

[Smiles, very sure of himself. After all, most of what he says is true and accurate, so when he says someone has a good heart, it not only means he believes it, but it should be widely accepted by everyone else]

But good hearts make themselves known almost immediately, and are easily discernible by those who know how and where to look.

Well, I call Henry "Henry", which I guess is a nickname in that I'm the only one who calls him that, but that's only on account of he doesn't have a real name of his own anyway. I don't do it to annoy him! ...I do other stuff to annoy him.

[she grins. Apparently whoever "Henry" is, he's somebody she's rather fond of!]

I'm from Kansas! But I'm a princess in Oz, technically speakin'. It doesn't make me rich or different or anything.

[Dorothy is not good at taking compliments. She looks a little uncomfortable, actually!]

Well, that's very kind of you.

[Apparently she is! But the Doctor doesn't pick up on this right away, because he is often oblivious to these expressions of human fondness]

Oh, is Henry from Kansas as well? What other stuff do you do to annoy him, then?

[Smiling, very intrigued]

Oz? Ah, you're that Dorothy. The Emerald City must be glorious to see!

[Don't worry, Dorothy, he's done with the complimenting now. He doesn't think about the fact that some people might not be good at taking them, because he happens to enjoy them immensely.]

Ha! No, Henry's from... [she thinks for a second] ...somewhere else. He's sort of a Doctor, but he's sort of not, in that he's human, and everything. His world has blimps! Mostly I just tease him, but I only do it 'cuz he's my friend.

[she shrugs!]

I like it enough. It's a great place to live! 'Specially if you're fond of the color green, I guess! We've got lunchbox trees! You should come see it, someday!

He's human...ah, then he must come from a different time than yours? Teasing him seems perfectly acceptable, since you apparently share a rapport. Ace seems fond of teasing me as well, and there's certainly nothing malicious about it.

[Well, really, anything would be better than Gallifrey, although he doesn't hate his home planet as much as he lets on sometimes]

Yes, I suppose it would be verdant, as the name implies. Perhaps I will. I suspect you'd enjoy exploring my TARDIS, were you ever to see it.

Well, I think so. It's 2009 where I'm from, but I think he's pretty close to me. He's just from a different universe. One that doesn't even have magic, and that's kind of depressing.

[she grins]

You're not the first Doctor to say so. But it's complicated, on the Plane. I mean, what with the world-merging and everything, there's a lotta technicalities to consider.

Ah, I see. Time is fascinating that way, I've always felt. However, a universe bereft of magic is quite a desolate reality to conceive of, I would agree.

[Looking slightly smug, because he is rather proud of his time-travel capabilities]

Yes, I suppose it would involve a bit of plotting and planning when one considers those variables. I must say, I believe it would be worth it for anyone to travel with me. Oh, not for the company, though I do like to think I'm pleasant enough-rather, I encourage it simply for the experience of traveling the universe, to every place and time you could consider.

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01. And now for something completely different

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