three

[likeajoan.livejournal.com]

[oh look it's Buffy, who hasn't appeared on the Plane for a while because her mun is fail because she's been terribly busy fighting the forces of evil (as one does). As it is, she looks tired and possibly a tad petulant too. For some reason she's carrying a deckchair-- probably in order to sit on it, which she proceeds to do]

Why hasn't Scotland heard of churros?

Comments

[exserpens.livejournal.com]

[There is a little green snake coiled nearby. It seems to speak in perfect, upper-crust English.]

Possibly because it's the back end of nowhere. Try coming a bit closer to London?

[likeajoan.livejournal.com]

[well THAT'S different. Buffy tries not to stare though, that would be impolite... to the talking snake]

Do they have castles in London?

[exserpens.livejournal.com]

Buckingham Palasss good enough?

[likeajoan.livejournal.com]

[suddenly excited] Ooh! That's where the Queen lives, right?

...buuuut I doubt she'd enjoy several hundred teenage girls for roomies. Even if they could do a damn fine curtsey.

[exserpens.livejournal.com]

Likely not. Has a very Elizabeth Bathory vibe, doesn't it?

[likeajoan.livejournal.com]

[one moment she knows she knows who that is]

Ah! I think I've read about her... crazy Hungarian lady who enjoyed walks along the beach, pina coladas and torture? And people thought she was a vampire? This... must be why I've read about her. Pretty sure they didn't cover it in history class.

[exserpens.livejournal.com]

Got it in one, yeah. Kept girls in her home and bathed in their blood. Bit of a weirdo, that one.

What are you doing babysitting hundreds of girls anyway?

[likeajoan.livejournal.com]

[she laughs, and nods] An impressive understatement.

You know, that's actually a question I frequently ask myself, but I think it has something to do with them being the army of slayers I created. Maybe.

And on a tangent, but a valid one I think, I know you, don't I?

[exserpens.livejournal.com]

An army of ssslayers? Very nice. Though I sssuppose that means you've need of them, doesn't it? Your reality must be quite the gem.

[a little hissing laugh]

D'you often go around ssspeaking to serpents you aren't acquainted with?

[likeajoan.livejournal.com]

[dryly] Hm, 'gem', that's a way of describing it, yeah.

[an amused look] Not often, no, it's sort of a new hobby I'm trying out actually. My mom probably wouldn't approve. But you seem familiar.

[exserpens.livejournal.com]

Mm, I doubt your mother would approve regardless. And it's Crowley. A pleasure to meet you again.

[likeajoan.livejournal.com]

Aha! Crowley! Yes. You too.

...and unless I'm going crazy you weren't a snake before. You were Pierce Brosnany. What happened?

[exserpens.livejournal.com]

The Twinsss happened, presumably. They've made it so I can't change ssshape to get back into my human body.

[a ssssigh]

And I'm always so careful about changing back right away.

[likeajoan.livejournal.com]

Ah. [have a sympathetic look, Crowley] That must be horribly inconvenient. [pause] On the making lemonade side of things though, you're a cute snake?

[exserpens.livejournal.com]

Ngh...cute. Nearly as bad as being nice, isn't it?

[likeajoan.livejournal.com]

Nice is bad now? Is that some new slang I'm not down with yet, because-- OH, demon, right. Umm... well when I said 'cute' what I really meant was 'terrifying' and 'certainly not anything I'd ever consider petting'. Yup.

[exserpens.livejournal.com]

[A long silence; the snake just stares.]

[In a somewhat indignant tone:]

...petting.

[likeajoan.livejournal.com]

[oh dear]

...it's way too late to backtrack now, isn't it?

[exserpens.livejournal.com]

...tell you what: I'll refrain from making a rude joke about it and we'll call it even. Agreed?

[likeajoan.livejournal.com]

[she laughs, before replying, dryly] Your terms are more than reasonable.

[exserpens.livejournal.com]

Exsssellent.

Now back to the original problem: I'm afraid I can't help you with your—what was it, churros?—churro craving.

...though I suppose I could have the angel order in, and bring them to the Plane for you.

[likeajoan.livejournal.com]

[d'aww Buffy is touched]

Oh thanks, you're so-- [er, she was going to say 'sweet' there, but rapidly thinks better of it] umm, I mean that's very tempting, but I couldn't ask you to do that. I'd feel bad. There would be guilt. I can live without churros. I'm just doing my occasional ritual necessary bitchfest.