059: Let Them All Walk Away

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[Hei is at his hut again. He's sitting on the bottom step, leaning tiredly against the railing. By now it's clear that he's been growing his hair out, as it's now down to his chin.]

[There's a single, half-empty bowl of ramen with him as well as a tumblerful of something alcoholic. A basic, composition notebook is open on his lap and he's idly writing something on one of the pages--though you might notice that "Ryotarou" is written in Sharpie on the front. There's also a pair of black and electric-blue Air Trecks propped next to him on the step.]

[Hei yawns and taps his pen against the paper, frowning a little.]

Comments

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Oh, you mean this. [He shakes his head.] No, this is just...

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[waiting expectantly]

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[He shakes his head.] It's nothing, really.

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Hm. You're a regular ray of sunshine today.

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I'm always a ray of sunshine.

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[smirk] Good point.

Taking up skating? Little young to be having a mid-life crisis, aren't we?

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Oh, no. These were a gift from someone. He, ah...he used to come here, but now he's gone.

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...gone?

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Gone. He doesn't come here anymore. It happens sometimes. People disappear from this place and they forget everything. This place, the people here, the things they've been through here, all of it. Completely.

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[Silence; this is a chilling prospect, Hei.]

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[Hei sighs and runs his fingers through his hair.] It's...happened to quite a few people I've known here.

[He shows Crowley the page he was writing on. There's a few names there--Wolfwood, Milo, Mion, Minato, Ikki, Angela, Firo, Ryotarou. There's also a few names with question marks after them--including Katara, Rose, and Aziraphale 1.]

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[Reading through the list, Crowley actually knew some of these people...he hadn't known they'd disappeared forever though.]

[When he gets to the end of the list he frowns and points to the page.]

Aziraphale? Nothing's happened to Aziraphale.

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No? Well, good. I'm glad. [He crosses the name off.]

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Speaking of, do you remember when you offered to sever our realities?

[Was that a smooth transition? Because that felt awkward as all Hell]

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[He sort of stares at Crowley for a minute. Just a little awkward, Crowley.]

Sure. I remember.

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[Argh]

Don't look at me like that—I don't need it for that Aziraphale.

I promised the other I'd ask about it. He's worried I'm going to end up with avenging angels running through my reality.

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[Tired sigh.] I've been busy, but I'll get on the Sapporo thing. I'll start tomorrow, alright?

The two of you will probably have an easier time--miracles and all. I can tell you how to do it, if you want.

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...believe it or not, that wasn't meant to be a not-so-subtle hint.

I do need to know how to do it, though, if you've the time.

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[Raises an eyebrow.] No?

Alright. I've never actually found out the extent to which we can do this, but... [Shrugs. He leans forward a little, setting the notebook aside.] It takes a lot of practice and there's a trick to it, but...the trick is the sort of thing I can't really explain. You either figure it out or you don't.

Essentially it's like meditation, or like visualization training. It's best to be near the point of merger or near what you want to block out. And it's also best to have something sort of concrete to focus on. Like a wall, for instance. You envision a wall separating you from the point of merger, your world from the other, whatever--it's like a wall between borders, I guess.

The most important thing is that...you can't really think about it. It's like trying to consciously forget about something. You sort of keep it in the back of your mind. Like... [He pauses, rubbing the back of his neck.] It's like coming and going from here. You have to think about it, and yet not--unconsciously, sort of. It's hard to explain.

[He sighs and shrugs again.] It's exhausting, and very time-consuming.

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Shocking, isn't it? I'm not terribly fond of the snow, but London usually has more than its fair share of cold and disgusting weather as it is. And the Gate's been less of a hassle than Padania so far, so. [a shrug]

[after Hei's done explaining:]

...right. It sounds like something the angel and I could probably manage, if it became necessary.

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Rather, considering how much you complain about it.

[Nods.] There's one other thing. The difficulty and the time spent are also dependent on how much the other person wants to hold on to the merger. The time I've done this before...the girl whose reality it was didn't want the merger to end. That made it a lot harder.

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I'm a bloody snake, what did you expect?

[an eyebrow shoots up] An unwanted admirer? I would never have guessed.

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[Deadpan,] Mion was a teenage country girl who ended up taking my place for awhile during the reality swap. She ended up near the Gate, which almost drove her insane. Afterward when I discovered the merger I realized what could happen if I let the Gate into her world. She'd been through enough already. [Not mentioning that Mion had to kill people while she was "Hei" :\]

I was protecting her, but she didn't see it that way.

[CROWLEY, HAVEN'T YOU FIGURED OUT YET THAT EVERYTHING WITH HEI IS HORRIBLE SRS BZNS?]

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[Oh Hei, why so serious :|]

[Crowley considers this for a moment]

I suppose I ought to be paying more attention to what the humans are doing with the Gate, hadn't I?

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Probably.