059: Let Them All Walk Away

[contract_star]

[Hei is at his hut again. He's sitting on the bottom step, leaning tiredly against the railing. By now it's clear that he's been growing his hair out, as it's now down to his chin.]

[There's a single, half-empty bowl of ramen with him as well as a tumblerful of something alcoholic. A basic, composition notebook is open on his lap and he's idly writing something on one of the pages--though you might notice that "Ryotarou" is written in Sharpie on the front. There's also a pair of black and electric-blue Air Trecks propped next to him on the step.]

[Hei yawns and taps his pen against the paper, frowning a little.]

Comments

[madamemoiselle]

Of course not. I don't tell anyone about it.

{And she's suddenly back to normal, bored of being shota}

Because if people are scared of me when I'm pretty like this, then that one...Well, no one would want to be close to me.

[contract_star]

[A beat, then,] Well...people are usually afraid of more than just appearances.

[madamemoiselle]

But when I look like this, people don't know unless I want them to. That's all that matters.

[contract_star]

[He's silent, contemplating this.]

[madamemoiselle]

...Is it bad for you to know, Hei?

[contract_star]

No...it's not like that. Sorry, I was just thinking.

[madamemoiselle]

...Well...What does Hei think? Tell me, honestly. I was...thinking about telling Sam, but I don't know if I want to. If it will scare him off...then I don't want him to know. It doesn't help or hurt him either way.

[contract_star]

I think you should tell him. It's...honesty is important.

[madamemoiselle]

...Why is it important, though?

[contract_star]

Because... [He decides to go for the easiest answer.] Because secrets tend to come out after awhile, and people tend to get upset when you keep things from them.

[madamemoiselle]

{She frowns, looking down}

Then...I guess I'll tell him. Ne, but...what if he doesn't like me anymore? I mean...what would he think? That this me, isn't really me.

[contract_star]

[He smiles.] He's Sam, Diva. I don't think it's possible for him to not like you.

[madamemoiselle]

{She half covers her face with her hands}

Maybe! But...I just want to be perfect for him. If he doesn't think of me as good, then it's terrible.

[contract_star]

He wouldn't. I really don't think his opinion of you would change. If mine didn't, there's no way his would.

[madamemoiselle]

{She still hides her face shyly, but straightens after a few moments with a little smile}

Then I guess it won't be so bad. Ne, I just worry about things like that.

[contract_star]

I think we all do.

[madamemoiselle]

{She pauses for a moment, remembering the other thing that's been nagging at her, but nods a bit}

Then...that's good. That all kinds of people worry about things like that. I thought it was just me being...silly, I guess, but...I'm really afraid of losing Sam.

[contract_star]

Why do you think it takes me so long to tell people what I am?

[madamemoiselle]

Because...{Warmly} Hei is afraid of losing them too. Right?

[contract_star]

[Long pause.] It's not...I'm not afraid of it. I just don't want it to happen.

[madamemoiselle]

Well, if you don't want it to happen, that has to mean you're at list a little afraid of losing people....Right?

[contract_star]

I'm not... [He's not so sure anymore.]

[madamemoiselle]

Well, I guess if you say so.

Still, it makes it a bit better, I think.

[contract_star]

Maybe.

[madamemoiselle]

{After a moment of silence, she looks to the Air Treks}

Those aren't Ikki's, are they?