realityshifted | ? 020 ?

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good omens (d2) a.j. crowley

? 020 ?

[Crowley appears on the Plane in his usual suit-and-tie, holding the apparently shattered remains of his sunglasses. There's a cut along his right temple oozing blood, and he smells and looks as though someone's poured cheap beer on him. He's just sort of staring down at his glasses, snake eyes blinking with unnatural infrequency, looking irked.]

...wasn't even trying for a riot this time. Here I thought Manchester might even pull this one out.

[He sighs and snaps his fingers, intending on repairing the busted set of sunglasses. Instead, a new pair appear on his face seemingly out of thin air. He is startled, to say the least, dropping the old pair to the ground.]

How— But— Did I...?

[Slowly a grin spreads across his face, and he starts laughing.]

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I remember that part.

[Off-handedly,] Like kittens.

[....]

[Here Hei, have a sudden!abomination in front of you. Rather tall, gangly, sharp and fangy...use your imagination. It looks like something out of a nightmare, regardless. And the maggots are probably over the top, but he doesn't care.]

[And the first instinct is to go for a knife, which isn't there--thanks, Deadpool. Hei is weaponless, defenseless, and there's a monster in front of him and...]

[The world tilts a little. Hei's heart starts pounding. He knows what this means. He thought he'd gotten past them; it's been months with no sign and almost a year since that time in the Gate. He thought he'd gotten past them. It can't be happening again. It can't happen again, can it?]

[The world tilts further and Hei fights and fights and fights but his hold on reality slips away.]

[Metal trees, their leaves jangling in a nonexistent wind. Black vines creeping up out of the ground, the toxic kind, the deadly kind. Hei can actually feel them, twining up around his ankles. Thick, dark blood, lakes of it, and neon-blue fins that break the surface, circling, circling. Puffs of light that burst and spark like dandelions. Bai and Nick and November and Amber and Havoc and Huang and Mao and all of them, ghostly, watching, disdain in their eyes. And the Masters, of course, with a pack of the ever-present Gate monsters at their sides.]

[Hei crumples to his knees and covers his eyes with one hand, the world pulsating and vibrating like a giant heartbeat. It's been a long time since one of these, but he can deal with it. He can deal with it as he's always done. He can hear the Gate howling.]

[It's not real. It's not real.] It's not real...

[...what the shit?]

[Crowley instantly shrinks back into his usual form, looking...somewhat confused. Normally humans just run away screaming from his nightmare form, but he'd sort of convinced himself that someone like Hei would be able to handle it a little better. Not worse. :|]

[After a moment of indecision he moves closer to Hei and crouches down next to him.]

Er...you still in there?

[Hei flinches a little, because for some reason Crowley's voice is booming.]

It's--ngh--it's fine. It's fine. I just--

[The world tilts suddenly, violently, and the vertigo forces Hei to brace himself on one hand. The floor beneath him is dissolving into blood-stained sand, and Hei is sinking into it. The Gate monsters chitter and squeak as they circle closer.]

Just...give me a minute.

[Crowley opens his mouth to say something, but...honestly, what do you say to something like this?]

[For a brief moment he entertains the idea of hypnotizing Hei, stopping whatever this is, but Hei would probably gut him afterward. Instead he just sits back on the ground where he was crouched, watching to make sure things don't get worse.]

[The howl reaches a crescendo and Hei grits his teeth, fighting the urge to cover his ears against an imaginary sound. The metal trees ring and then shatter into brassy dust. The vines tighten around Hei's legs and he can't help it, he reaches down to pull them off.]

[Still, the vertigo is fading, and Hei has stopped sinking into the sand of the Astral Floor. The blood dries and the sharks rise to the surface as pale skeletons, glowing faintly blue. The world looks as if it is shrouded in fog, or television snow. The hallucination is fading. Slower than it arrived, but fading.]

Sorry... [Hei's face is damp from sweat and he's shivering.] Sorry. Didn't expect this...it'll just be another few moments.

[He sounds oddly like someone apologizing for technical difficulties.]

[Crowley...just kind of sits there. And looks rather guilty. And hopes, very, very much, that no one happens to wander by while this is taking place.]

Er...take all the time you need.

[The people fade like wisps of smoke. The Gate monsters disappear, though not before one takes a snap at Hei, two-inch teeth closing only millimeters from his ear. The sand slowly solidifies back into a proper floor.]

[Hei gives a shaky sigh of relief and sits up a little, rubbing his face.]

I'm sorry...that hasn't happened in awhile.

Quite all right.

...d'you...need anything?

[He shakes his head.] It's fine. I'm fine.

Right.

[He stands, slowly, and offers a hand to Hei to help him up]

[Hei takes it and lets himself be pulled up, though he wobbles a little. He dusts his hands off and tugs his foot away from an errant, creeping vine.]

It's the Gate. It's...something happened awhile ago. I thought they were gone, but...

Mn...sorry about that. Normal humans usually just run away screaming and then forget it ever happened.

[He shakes his head.] You couldn't have known.

[He's silent for a moment, fidgeting.] It was an experiment. I was trapped inside the Gate for five days. That place... [He shakes his head again.] You couldn't have known.

[Silence for a moment]

I could wipe the memory, if it'd help at all. This...attack, I mean.

[Sharply,] No. [A beat, then, gentler this time,] No. I don't want my memories tampered with, not even the bad ones. That's the PANDORA solution. The Syndicate's solution. [He shakes his head.] Anyway, they don't happen nearly as often as they used to.

[Long pause.] ...Thanks, though.

Yeah, don't mention it.

Drink?

[Grins.] I thought you'd never ask.

Yes, well...just don't go telling Henrietta. We actually had to have the "please stay sober, Dad" talk the other day.

[he looks somewhat embarrassed by this, but is now moving in a general Astral Bar-type direction]

That's an actual "talk?"

[Following, still a little shaky though trying not to let on.]

[Crowley will slow up a bit to keep pace with Hei]

You don't watch much television, do you?

[Hei notices and isn't sure how he feels about that, Crowley.]

No.

[Too bad Hei :)]

Well it is, apparently. And it's...unpleasant.

Yet another item on the list of reasons why I am the last being in the Universe that ought to be parenting.

I can imagine.

[He snorts.] There are much worse parents out there.

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