012 - What Rhymes With "Norman Osborn"?

[mercwamouth]

[Well Deadpool is on a motel bed with a machine gun resting beside him. He's writing something on a normal sheet of paper on a motel nightstand. If you feel comfortable getting close enough to look, it reads the following:]

INVOICE HEY, NORMIE-- REMEMBER ME? DEADPOOL? THE GUY WHO GAVE YOU THE DATA YOU USED TO KILL THE SKRULL QUEEN? OH, WAIT-- I DIDN'T GIVE IT TO YOU... YOU STOLE IT! GUESS THAT MAKES YOU A THIEF AND A LIAR, DOESN'T IT? DON'T WORRY, NORMIE. NOBODY WILL KNOW. AT LEAST, THEY WON'T IF YOU PAY ME $10,000,000 $100,000,000 IN THE NEXT 24 12 HRS. IT'S BEEN A PLEASURE DOING BUSINESS WITH YOU. -DEADPOOL P.S. I KILLED BOB.

There. Ready to send in. I'll finally get paid!

[Yes, I'm sure nothing bad will come of this.]

Comments

[chasingstars201.livejournal.com]

[Raised eyebrow] You know, writing a letter like that on a plane filled with cops isn't necessarily the best idea.

[mercwamouth]

What're you gonna do? Bring me in?

You gonna try and put me in handcuffs?

[Kinky]

[chasingstars201.livejournal.com]

I know better than that. [=_=]

[mercwamouth]

Then I don't see a problem with me writing blackmail here.

[The paper looks white to me...]

Besides, Bob was reading over my shoulder. I could have just killed him, but he's a bit of a squealer and this motel doesn't offer complimentary earplugs.

[chasingstars201.livejournal.com]

So he's not dead?

[mercwamouth]

Nah, just sayin' he is so that he knows I'm not bluffing and actually know what he's up to. Plus I don't want him getting Bob killed. I'm saving that for a special occasion.

[chasingstars201.livejournal.com]

You know, I only ever understand about half of what you're saying.

[madamemoiselle]

{Sits down next to him}

Trying to get money again, I guess?

[mercwamouth]

...Who the hell are you?

...

...And suddenly I'm very glad I brought a bed with me.

[madamemoiselle]

{Looks surprised, then laughs shyly}

Ah, I guess I'm too used to it now. It's Diva, Wade.

[mercwamouth]

Diva?

...I thought you couldn't change your appearance anymore?

...What's with the patterns and why does your hair look like wallpaper?

[madamemoiselle]

I can't. This is something that the Twins are doing while I'm on the Plane.

{Nods} It's weird, since I've never seen a human like this, but it's funny that way too. I mean, I'm human now. Just for a little while, I hope.

[mercwamouth]

That's special. And kind of... hypnotizing.

How's that feel?

[contract_star]

[=_=]

[mercwamouth]

...What?

[contract_star]

I'm not...entirely sure that's the best way to go about it. Whatever "it" is.

[mercwamouth]

In my experience, "the best way to go about it" is no match for "JESUS WHAT THE FUCK IS HE THINKING!?!?"

[contract_star]

...Right. Whatever you say.

[mercwamouth]

Now you're learning.

...Do you think maybe $100,000,000 is still too low?

[allstrings.livejournal.com]

[Cracking up laughing but trying very very hard to hold it in.]

[mercwamouth]

Yeah, I try to throw a little humor into my blackmail. Does wonders.

[allstrings.livejournal.com]

Does that ever work?

[mercwamouth]

We'll find out soon enough!

[extutela.livejournal.com]

'I killed Bob'? Are you certain that's going to work in terms of intimidation?

[mercwamouth]

While it definitely won't impress him, it will let him know that I'm not just bluffing and that I actually know what I claim to know.

Plus I like to joke about killing Bob on occasion.