realityshifted | 052 - If I were to become tiger food (It would've been more noble)

Entry tags:

darker than black (da) misaki hirihara

052 - If I were to become tiger food (It would've been more noble)

[Misaki is in the Astral kitchen, doing... well, it's not entirely clear WHAT she's doing. There are pots bubbling over on the stove, produce everywhere, piles of dishes in the sink and the oven is starting to smoke out of both sides as though attempting to cry.]

[Misaki squeaks and opens the door, releasing a black avalanche of smoke. She starts coughing, squints through the black fog, and her eyes go wide.]

[Very gingerly, she shuts the oven door, switches it off, and leans her back against it.]

...oops.

[And she proceeds to have a gigglefit.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I suppose. It's more that I don't really notice getting hurt if there's a job to do.

So then you're focused on your job! Ne, that's a good thing, then.

Yes, but it's not the only thing. It's really not even the most important thing, if I'm being honest.

Then what is the most important thing?

My family.

Do you mean like your parents, or Hei?

My dad, yes. Kanami, Hei, Sam. [Snerk.] The Doctor too, I suppose.

But Sam and the Doctor are your friends, right?

So's Kanami. That doesn't mean they can't be family too.

But it's different, isn't it?

A little, maybe. It's an adopted family instead of a natural one. But you love Sam, right? And Hei?

I really love Sam. But...Hei is more like family, I guess. I don't love him the same way that I love Sam.

It's like that, I suppose. Though Hei is... [A pause] I love him, the way you love someone special. Like you love Sam. But he's also my friend and a part of my family.

So then things are...better between the two of you? You both seemed really happy together.

They are, yes. [a pause] I don't want you to think about this too much, I just want you to... keep it in mind, all right? It may have only been an experiment, but being with Hei, being married to him, taught me alot. It's great that you love Sam. It's obvious he really cares about you too. But... sometimes just love isn't enough. You need to be equals. You need to be friends. You can't live just for him, just doing as he says and wanting to make him happy. You have to find things to make you happy on your own. Things that let you stand by yourself.

[softly] Maybe it's not my place to say that, to say anything to you about someone you love, but Sam means a lot to me. I want him to be happy, too.

{This is a new concept to her}

Ne, but...equals? No, if we were in a relationship, Sam is a man, so we're not equal.

Who told you men and women can't be equals?

My, who hadn't? There have been many people over the years, and definitely not all of them have been my Chevalier. Woman have always been the weaker sex.

That isn't true. At all. It isn't true about women in mind or body. I'm not physically powerful, maybe, but I'm still a section chief. Do you know why? Because I'm strong. Because I can think quickly, and because I showed the men around me that I'm just as skillful as they are. Men... they get scared easily. Even the good ones. They don't realize that recognizing someone else as powerful doesn't make them weak. Do you understand?

Think about... about how strong you are. Physically. How many men here are as strong as you? Maybe one or two, and that's only because they have superhuman abilities of their own. People tell you you're weak so they can control you. As long as you believe it, then it might as well be the truth.

{Shakes her head}

Of course I'm stronger, but I'm not human. Relationships aren't about who's stronger, though, so I have to be like a human. If it's for the people that I love, then I don't mind being controlled. If I'm useful, that's enough.

[She shakes her head] That's... not the point. [Augh, how to phrase this in a way that will make sense to her?]

[...all right, cheesy metaphor is go.] A relationship... it's like a big house. The people in it are like the pillars that hold it up. You have to be equals--equal strength of mind, independently solid, in order to support a life together. Pillars that aren't the same height or... or solidity won't hold things together for long.

...But...It's worked for humans for a long time. Forever, almost.

No. It's worked for men, and women have been forced to accept it. Even made to believe it. [She sighs.] I can't... make you see things differently. I can just tell you the way they are isn't the way they have to be. Forever is a long time to live for someone else. And if you ever end up alone, where will you be?

I don't know, really. I guess...I don't know, it's just hard to think about. I've always lived for someone else, and that's been happy enough, really.

Well. Try. Talk to Sam. I'm sure he doesn't want to just control you.

(no subject)

madamemoiselle - 2009-01-25 22:57 (UTC) - Expand

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only