Arrival

[b-ittersweets.livejournal.com]

[Beyond is standing hunched over on the Astral Plane, looking around and sucking the tip of his index finger in thought. His voice is quiet, from lack of use.]

There is a 30% chance I'm dreaming, and a 69% chance I'm hallucinating.

[After looking around for a while longer, he takes his finger out of his mouth and puts his hand in his pocket, like his other one is, and moves on to more important matters:] Does anyone have...jam? No, no. I've tried that. Ah...perhaps, yes. Yes. Strawberry jam? [A wide grin slowly breaks over his face.]

This...this is an opportunity. It is a break. It has been so long since I had jam. Why is that? Why...is there no sugar? What is the purpose?

[He pauses, putting his hand back in his mouth and chewing the fingernail.]

What are you all doing here?

Comments

[sucre-justice.livejournal.com]

And your current existence is preferable? The lives you've taken - those are an acceptable cost?

[b-ittersweets.livejournal.com]

[B stares up at him again. How can he tell L that those people would have died anyway?]

My current existence is pathetic. It is not preferable to anything. And other lives are not an acceptable cost for anything.

I only mean that I still understand why I did those things.

[sucre-justice.livejournal.com]

You could've kept your freedom had you not committed those crimes. Was proving your point in that manner unavoidable to you? Was there no alternative?

[b-ittersweets.livejournal.com]

Freedom...I would have only kept my physical freedom. That was not enough to outweigh my point, and my pride. Perhaps I should have valued that freedom more, but I saw no other way to act. No other way to act that I would be able to live with - ironic though it sounds.

[sucre-justice.livejournal.com]

And you failed.

Have you learned nothing from that failure?

[b-ittersweets.livejournal.com]

Failed. Yes, I failed. That word tastes so bitter on the tongue, don't you think? Especially when you've had a thorough helping of it.

I have learned, yes. I have learned that I am a failure. A weak, pathetic failure, who can never hope to accomplish his goals.

[sucre-justice.livejournal.com]

[L hesitates; he wonders if he's pushed a bit too hard.]

...set a new goal for yourself, B. You're here. There are new possibilities that weren't open to you previously.

[b-ittersweets.livejournal.com]

[He considers L for a moment]

B...? The letter B. Just like the letter L. "Backup". B defined himself by L. And Ryuzaki? Ryuzaki Rue. L.L. I have always defined myself by L. Any goals I have will involve L. You. Wouldn't you rather I was dead and gone?

[sucre-justice.livejournal.com]

No. Do you think me that type of person?

Your absence wouldn't erase our shared mistakes, nor would it erase the past that's already unfolded.

[b-ittersweets.livejournal.com]

[B is staring straight ahead with wide eyes, hugging his knees closer.] Shared mistakes...

But...any goals I have will involve L. Wouldn't you rather not deal with them?

[sucre-justice.livejournal.com]

[L tilts his head, placing a finger to his bottom lip thoughtfully.]

I suppose that depends on the goal. If you still want to surpass me, that's one thing, though I'd rather not go into the details of what sort of malice you might have against me.

[b-ittersweets.livejournal.com]

[After a thoughtful silence, B stands up. He slouches, facing L for a few moments, just looking at him, and then he says:] I am glad I got to meet L again. [Then he puts his hands in his pockets and turns, starting to slink away.]