realityshifted | (no subject)

[ENTER THE LESBIANS- wait that sounds weird. But anyway. A pair of women have appeared on the Plane and they're ones you might know. One is currently stupefied and dressed in her clowny outfit. The other seems more or less fine, even if ew no plants gross.]

H-Hey! Who took the floor away?! What kinda joke is this? [and now she spots Ivy] Red! What's goin' on?

{and Ivy knows that voice anywhere} Harley? You're here too...I don't know. I've never seen a place like this before. It's nothing I've ever seen before.

Me either! But wow, what a view, huh? [Harley takes a few careful steps before coming over] Little too classy for most of the crooks we know.

Little too classy for the heroes we know too. {She looks around too, then frowns} It's awfully...barren, though. There's hardly any plants at all, and the ones here, this starlight can't be good for them.

[A little sadly] I bet my babies would get confused with no floor. But all right, who did this to us then, huh? Kidnappin' crime queens is a pretty dirty trick if ya ask me! If anyone's gonna kidnap around here, it should be us.

You're right about that, Harley, but I don't have a clue who it was. It's not really Batman's style. He'd just take us back to Arkham. Whoever it was, they at least have flair to bring us to a place like this. You don't see stars like this in Gotham. Or at all, really.

[a little dreamy] Yeah, sure is somethin'. Like Christmas lights. So what do we do now, Red?

{She laughs then crosses her arms with a little smirk} Well, it looks like there's some nice stuff here. If we've been kidnapped, we can at least take a fee for the trouble. We have to pay rent on the apartment soon, after all.

[She's much more excited now.] Yeah! Lootin' time! Maybe we'll have enough leftover for some shoppin'.

Oh, that would be nice! I could use some new jewelry, maybe some more clothes too.

Aw, been forever since we got anythin' new. C'mon, Red! We better hurry before the kidnappers show up!

[and so they have plotted their epic heist of...stealing things off the Plane until they get answers. Or until you come to see them!]

((Double intro! Green for Ivy and red for Harley. Tag-teaming and thread jumping and so on and so forth!))

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So where should we look first? Bar, theater, or that other big building over there?

{And for the last one, she points to the ballroom}

A bar might have some cash in the till. That's a guaranteed wad of dough for us.

...Oh hell yes.

That's true! And if there's not, then we could at least take some of the alcohol to keep at the apartment. Just for fun, you know?

[Sam is staring, because that's Harley and Ivy. This may not be as strange as Albus Dumbledore, but it is pretty bloody strange]

You... you can't steal, from here.

{She takes one look at him and puts her hand to her face}

Great, like Batman wasn't enough. I thought one hero and his sidekicks in spandex was plenty. Too much, even.

[Harley stops and looks over at him.] Either you're makin' a fashion statement or you're in our business.

{Smiles} Or what? You'll stop us?

I hear what you're sayin'! It's one of those win-win situations.

Hey, spandex is not a hero-exclusive feature. In fact they're really quite comfy. Probably comfier than chlorophyll.

[dead fourth wall slows Sam's brain capacities]

It is... uhm... most people here...

[lifts his hands and presses his lips together, about to ask 'Poison Ivy? Really?' but then he stops. He will now take ten seconds to put his mind back together!]

[She flashes him a smile.] Ya look a lil' pale. Sure you'd be up to stoppin' us?

The latter would be the correct assumption, though the former is still an as of yet unfulfilled dream.

It's been a while since we've been able to drink nice things anyways. Not since that movie, right?

[attacking his ability to police is one way to get Sam back on track]

I'd try.

[he really wants to ask if she's actually Harley Quinn, but he's still not sure that this isn't a drug-thing from his doctors watching too much Batman by his bedside (House, I'm talking to you)]

Hero-exclusive? I don't think it really matters, but it's hardly flattering no matter what.

{And she comes closer} Cat got your tongue?

Too much man for ya?

[Harley siiiiighs.] Yeah and money runs out fast. Hey, you're good with plants and things. Could ya make one that really grew money?

Oh, great! What, are they just kidnappin' all us big bads and puttin' us here? Never seen ya before, though.

[steps back, hands out as if to say "I'm not armed, don't shoot!"]

No, not her.

[because that immediately made his mind go "Catwoman! Halle Berry? Never managed to see that."]

[She laughs and waves her hand.] Yeah, sure. You're funny. Ya need to be Bats or somethin' to take us out. We're a pretty amazin' team.

I'd still try. Not worth my badge if I don't at least try.

[it would be all brave and noble and things, but he still has that "OH GOD I AM SO CONFUSED" look on his face]

{She considers that} Hmm, maybe. I'd have to work on that for a while, but I think I could. Are we going into counterfeiting now too? That could be fun.

Far too much everything.

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