realityshifted | 09; A million spaces in the Earth to fill [but there's no going home]

[dysfunctional couples? They really have nothing on these two. Dysfunctional...well, sort-of selves. The one in the brown suit is sipping on a banana daquiri with a little umbrella in it (he'll be saving it for the little sunbathers on Tredronia as they need it more than he does)]

Right. So! Merging is supposedly quite complicated, or time consuming. Or both. Maybe. It doesn't make a lot of sense to me, either.

[The one in the more casual attire sips on a pint, giving his other self a look] Well, it has to be less complicated and time consuming than explaining to people on the streets why I'm talking to myself. You really do need to figure something out.

Why do I have to figure it out? You're me---with less sartorial taste, of course---but you've got to have some of my cleverness in that human brain of yours. [he may be surly because of the rum in the fruity drink]

I'm clever! Besides that, you've had a merger before, I haven't. So you need to figure something out. [gives him a look] And I'm sorry, but having exactly two suits isn't anyone's idea of taste.

They're nice suits. Besides, at least I know what I like. [scratches his sideburns] Well, I know it's got a bit to do with psychic wavelengths, creating some sort of a bond between the two realities.

I know what I like. Wearing more than two things is actually considered quite healthy by most people. [takes a sip of his drink] A bond between realities? How did you manage to do that before?

I don't know. It just sort of happened over time.

It just sort of happened? Like what, you woke up one day and bam, merged reality?

No, not that simple. It just took a bit of time, like a melting block of ice.

Really? A bit of time? Can't we just speed the process up, seeing as we're sort of the same? We should have some sort of psychic wavelength all ready, I would think.

We probably can. [takes a sip of his drink] I'm just not the sort of person who would know about that.

Lot of good, you are. [sighs] Right, well, what sort of person would know, then?

The Master.

Oh, you've got to be kidding. Really?

Not exactly the universe's greatest tutor, I think. We'll figure it out, though.

If he would be the sort to know, it can't be that difficult, right? I mean, there are two of us, after all.

We've got plenty of time, though. No need to rush things.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[oh look, two of his favourite people to ignore! Have you ever seen a more smug and arrogant grin in your life?]

Sorry, did I hear a Doctor say he needs my tutelage?

[He really hasn't, which he feels is saying a lot considering his present company]

I think we'll manage on our own.

Nonsense; you've never managed properly without me before. I don't see how you'll pull it off now. And I'm fairly certain that Self and I are the only people here intelligent enough to have actually experimented with mergers.

What? I manage brilliantly without you.

[curiosity trumps indignance for the moment]

You've experimented with them? How did that work out?

Yes, you get involved in metacrises and then alternately mope around space-time depressively and mope around a parallel Earth in poverty. You do just smashingly.

[smiles with the grin of knowing something the Doctor doesn't]

Why should I tell you, Doctor?

I don't mope around anything.

[he hates that grin]

Fine, don't. Like I said, we'll manage.

Yes, yes you do. Apparently, you mope around Canada.

[rolls his eyes]

Yes, fumbling around blindly in the dark, no idea what you're doing or how to go about it. If that's how you approach most things, no wonder Miss Tyler threw you out.

[the proper Doctor has remained silent until now, but there's a level of insulting even he won't allow towards his human counterpart]

Yes, yes, fumbling in the dark is your specialty, very clever. We're a bit busy, here.

As if you'd know. Busy what? Drinking and discussing your shared incompetence?

Do have anything remotely useful to say, or are you just going to stand here tossing around insults?

I believe we already established that I do have something useful. We also established that you haven't asked nicely enough to get it.

So what, I say please and you'll just share?

If you offer something I want, yes.

Something you want? Like what?

Your misery, probably. Or mine.

Sorry, Master. The adults are talking. We'll play later.

That sounds about right.

Well that's the problem, isn't it? People keep wanting things from me, and I'm loathe to give without receiving - but there isn't anything I need.

Well, it's obvious you just want to stand there being smug knowing something we don't. Which pretty much means you're not going to say anything useful.

You're insulting yourself; I just enjoy your company. ...Well, sometimes.

And you're sure you don't have anything to give?

You enjoy my company?

[nervously]

What exactly do you think I have?

Somet--

[he stops. That nervousness? That was odd]

Doctor?

What were you going to say?

[slowly, still watching him cautiously - gauging him]

Sometimes, Doctor, you're bearable.

Do you have something to offer?

[scratches the back of his neck]

No. Why would I?

[calmly, hands in his pockets]

This is the bit where your voice gets light and drawls out a bit, you realise. Then you start talking about something that isn't important, as if I'd forget what we were discussing if you go on and on about panthermic regulators or whatever it is for long enough.

(no subject)

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