A's got a girl for each season [B's got a mail-order bride]

[savagestime.livejournal.com]

[the Master and the Doctor appear together at the Astral Bar, bickering. No one should be surprised] Well, she's not that bad to put up with, is she? A bit mouthy, but you've picked up worse. The one of her here asked ever-so-nicely for me to take this one on, you know, so I don't mind. And anyway, if you happen to be acting particularly maddening, I can always use her as a hostage to put you back in line. It's a winning situation, I think.

You're not using her as a hostage. Frankly, I think she'd have a say in that first.

And I'd end up killing her because she's a very mouthy hostage, yes. It happens, I'm afraid. [the Master starts mixing a White Ballistic for himself, because he wants one]

[The Doctor wants one, too, but he's just eyeing the Master's] You haven't been slapped by her. You'd have to get through that first.

I'll draw her death out into something slow and painful, then. I keep telling you, Doctor, don't let any of your precious pets near me if you can't make them behave.

[the Doctor sighs and runs his hand through his hair] Her room is far, far away from yours, so you'll have to go out of your way to see her. Shouldn't be a problem.

Unless it becomes one, of course. You realise that there's only one good television lounge, and that I'm not sharing it with anyone. Except Lucy, of course.

You and Donna watch the same shows, don't you? Those sort of...popular things on in the daytime.

[for a long moment, he stares] I don't watch soap operas.

Oh. What about those talk ones?

No.

Well then, might need another television.

[the Master drinks his White Ballistic with a grin] My dear Doctor, the burden is entirely on you.

[ooc; join post, red is Master, blue is Doctor, expect double-tagging, and so on]

Comments

[scienceandgod.livejournal.com]

What? No. No you couldn't- why would you even want it?

[savagestime.livejournal.com]

Because it has value to you. Not much of what you can offer has any value to me, after all. There's nothing I need from you.

[scienceandgod.livejournal.com]

[He sighs, looking obviously disappointed as his hand wraps around the watch in his pocket.]

There's nothing else I wouldn't be willing to part with, so I assume the watch is the only thing I could offer.

[savagestime.livejournal.com]

Hold on - I can tell my wife is set to nag. [looks over at the Doctor]

Well?

[salvagestime.livejournal.com]

[gives him a look at the wife comment but he sighs and leans over.] Arthur, honestly. I did say I'll teach you. You don't have to worry about trading anything with him.

[scienceandgod.livejournal.com]

[Arthur still seems a bit confused regarding the wife comment, looking between them for a moment before nodding] I didn't want to bother you with all of my questions.

I didn't think he would ask to trade for just one answer.

[savagestime.livejournal.com]

I don't, not always.

[leans back against the bar]

I'm very whimsical at the hearts of me!

[salvagestime.livejournal.com]

'Whimsical.' Yes, well. The point is, Arthur, I really don't mind answering them. And it's a much better idea than going to him.

[scienceandgod.livejournal.com]

I, well, I didn't go to him. He pointed out the television set, and I didn't think before asking, and he was there.

I didn't go to him.

[savagestime.livejournal.com]

He says, but do you believe him?

[salvagestime.livejournal.com]

I do, actually. Simple mistake to make.

[scienceandgod.livejournal.com]

[He seems rather relieved that the Doctor does believe him]

Thank you.

[savagestime.livejournal.com]

Ouch. Doctor, you broke my left heart.

[sits on the bar]

I think I'm going -- oh, ow, blood systems failing - yes, cardiac arrest leading to--

[and he collapses onto the bar]

[salvagestime.livejournal.com]

[The Doctor stares for a moment. Outwardly, he raises an eyebrow and he looks mildly amused. Inwardly, he is snort-giggling.]

Oh, that's not good. Sorry, Master, do you need a doctor?

[Okay he grins a little. He couldn't help that pun.]

[scienceandgod.livejournal.com]

[Arthur is watching, trying very hard not to smile.]

Might want to get one soon. The contents of the bar top can't be good for his suit.

[savagestime.livejournal.com]

[SORRY, IS PLAYING DEAD! Actually, he's making a point of playing dead QUITE well by stopping his breathing and accessing respiratory bypass system. He's likely to put himself into double cardiac arrest for kicks if he wants to be really authentic]

[salvagestime.livejournal.com]

[The Doctor hates it when you do this, Master. He jumps up to sit on the bar, glancing up at Arthur.] Well! Luckily, I picked up a... [pauses] ...an adequate amount of medical knowledge.

[He can't help but feel a prickling fear whenever the Master does this. He leans down near his ear and murmurs so Arthur can't hear,] Please don't.

[savagestime.livejournal.com]

[sits up and smirks]

No, I think I'd much rather fix myself up than rely on this man.

[he nods to the Doctor]

{You worry too much.}

[salvagestime.livejournal.com]

[The Doctor rolls his eyes.]

Oh and like you have anymore qualification than I do. I probably have more. In fact, I'm quite certain I do.

{You have an incredible sense of humour, Master.}

[scienceandgod.livejournal.com]

Are there other differences in the structure of your biology and a humans? Besides the binary vascular system.

[savagestime.livejournal.com]

No, I'm definitely more qualified.

{You laughed!}

[he grabs the Doctor's arm and pulls him down to sit beside the Master on the bar]

Respiratory bypass, obviously a different structure to our brains, which is why we heal ridiculously well. Oh, and we don't get drunk off of alcohol.

[salvagestime.livejournal.com]

{Yes, well. It was a bit amusing.}

[Shifts to sit cross-legged.]

There's also a gland of sorts which helps to bond with a TARDIS. Uhm, few differences here and there. Cell structure is different, which is why we age slowly.

[scienceandgod.livejournal.com]

[blinks] Does that mean your body filters toxins more quickly, since you can't get drunk?

[salvagestime.livejournal.com]

{Master, don't.}

[savagestime.livejournal.com]

{He's setting himself up for it. If it upsets you, you can show him.}