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[It’s that time, Plane denizens, for Chris and Ray to appear! They appear at the same time, close to each other, though not yet quite aware of that fact. For now they have their unique individual reactions: Chris is staring wide-eyed and Ray wears an expression that can only be summed up as "wtf." The good news here is that Chris was quickly decided this is an awesome dream.

Spotting the pub floating awesomely in space only confirms this.]

Ray, hey, look. There’s a pub in space.

[Ray sounds less than enthusiastic.] Can see that.

Could go get a pint. Bet it’ll be free. [Because this is his awesome space pub dream.]

Chris. We’re in bloody space. [Sorry, still processing.]

Not bad, is it? Sorta nice, even.

It’s not nice. It’s…bet we stumbled into a gas leak or sommat. Ain’t space, just…somethin’. [Time for logical denial!]

[But Chris likes space dream better.] No, see, this is a dream. Bet there’s superheroes in the pub. That sorta dream thing.

[Ray gives Chris a patented ‘ur dumb’ Look.] You aren't dreamin', you div. And even if you were, why'd you be dreamin' 'bout this?

Cos...I like space. And pubs. 'S cool, you know, a pub out in space. Sorta something you only get to with superpowers. Real special that way.

Yeah? Well if this is a dream, and you got superpowers, use 'em. Otherise, t'ain't a dream.

[Chris, for the record, is attempting invisibility powers! He shuts his eyes tightly and focuses!] There, see? ‘Cept you won’t, will you? [He snickers at his clever and witty joke.]

[Ray just crosses his arms.] And you're supposed to be doin' what?

[Chris frowns, opening his eyes and looking thoroughly disappointed. After a beat, he manages some words.] Yeah, well, all right, why are we in space then?

I dunno.

Yeah but...then, see? Dream makes sense.

Or we're standin' around somewhere, inhalin' gas, and hallucinatin'. [Ray refuses to let it be a dream.]

[Chris is just confused!] There wasn't a pub near us. So what's the pub really?

I don't know, Chris. But stickin' around is just gonna make it worse.

So...pub, then? 'Less we go off into space...

Think we'd have died 'fore then. Space don't have air. [Ray just shrugs because he’s totally lost and going to mull over things.] Yeah, might as well. [Because alcohol solves all problems!]

Yeah, right. Maybe it'll...wear off. Something like that. [And with that last, Chris-version-of-uplifting, the duo wanders off toward the pub, confused and uncertain and they need crazies like you guys to come bother them!]

((ooc: Double intro post for Ray and Chris, yadda yadda, you all know how this goes by now. Colours! This is Ray and this is Chris.))

Comments

[gotitwrong]

[he nods] I can handle it. Though I don't fancy workin' with any replacements.

[didorothy]

Annie ended up with DCI Bell when it happened to her. He wasn't the Guv, but she said he wasn't that bad. He was the Guv's recommendation.

[gotitwrong]

[he leans against the bar] I'll give you and the Guv names when I get 'em.

[didorothy]

Thank you, Ray.

[rubs the bridge of his nose - Sam knows Ray will handle all of these problems a lot better than Chris will]

Hey, Ray. The other week, was I blind? I know it's a stupid question. It has to be asked anyway.

[gotitwrong]

[Ray tilts his head and looks up at Sam; you know that way people get when they're minorly annoyed? yeah, that]

Yeah, you were, Boss. You sure you aren't havin' memory problems?

[didorothy]

[and you know that way Sam gets when he has to be around Ray for long periods of time? Yeah, that]

My memory's fine, DS Carling.

What about the cheetahs. Do you remember when Manchester ended up surrounded by a giant desert? Or what about when the moon turned green, puddle of blood littered the streets, half our citizens ended up in coffins, and zombie Nazis started attacking Manchester?

[gotitwrong]

[have a stare that can be summed up with 'oh god, he's being a nutter again']

No, Boss.

[didorothy]

[SAM KNOWS THAT STARE WELL]

Ask the Guv about it, as it's obvious you don't believe me.

[drums his fingers on the table]

There's a bloke who looks like me. He wears office clothes - black suit jacket, a tie, an accent straight out of Downing Street. He's not me. He calsl himself 'The Master' and he's a bloody lunatic. Don't go near him and don't piss him of because you think he is me. It was bad enough when the Guv did that.

[gotitwrong]

I will.

[he crosses his arms]

So if I see a poncy lookin' you, avoid him. Can do, Boss.

[didorothy]

[he knows what you're thinking]

There's another one by the same name, but he looks different. Beard, fangs, leather gloves and all that. He's got it in for the Guv. If you see him, you run.

[gotitwrong]

[Nu-uh.]

Don't like runnin' from things.

[didorothy]

Ray.

[grabs an empty bottle and smashes it open. Worrying about your Boss now, Ray? Well, worry more! Because Sam just used the sharp end of the bottle to cut open his hand]

Look at that. Look at my blood. The Guv and I both bleed like this, and you know why? 'cause the Master killed us, and it took some mad scientist Twin dolls to bring is back. He killed the Guv twice. It's not just an explosion in the face a few weeks recovery in hospital. It's death. And if you think I'm mad, you can ask the Guv why he bleeds like I do and he'll give you the exact same answer if he has the courage to admit it. Do you get it, Ray? The Master will kill you. I am not going to have to face your body, dead and broken because of this sodding place and your own arrogant stupidity.

[sets down the broken bottle and grabs a towel from the bar to wipe off the blood]

[gotitwrong]

[Ray is taken aback (as when people smash bottles, they are usually used as weapons against others, and that was his brain's first reaction) by Sam's sudden sort of outburst.

and then he's put into a bit of shocked silence as Sam goes on, showing off his black blood, saying that he died, that the Guv died, so on. and for a while, he's quiet.

then he stands and pulls out a cigarette]

Ain't gonna get myself killed, Boss.

[he's now highly tempted to just say sod it and walk off, and think it out on his own]

[didorothy]

Promise me.

[and then]

Promise me, because I'm not going to be the one who has to your cause of death to Chris.

[gotitwrong]

Promise. [he then pulls out his zippo and lights up] Happy?

[didorothy]

[folds his arms]

Did you give all your DIs this much lip or am I just special?

[gotitwrong]

Just you, Boss. Waited me whole life for a prat like you to come 'round so I could put it all to good use.

[didorothy]

You should be more thankful towards me for giving you the opportunity.

[gotitwrong]

Nah. Wouldn't want you to think you were somethin' important.

[didorothy]

You've been 'waiting your whole life' for me and I'm not important? That's an incongruous statement. I hope you never end up on the wrong side of the interrogation table.

[gotitwrong]

Hey, never said I was waitin' for you. Just a prat like you. You just fit the bill, s'all.

[didorothy]

If that was true you would've found on earlier. Fourty-five [purposefully guessing over Ray's real age] years and still not one like me?

[gotitwrong]

I ain't forty-five and you know it. [He's smirking though, but hey, he always smirks] What can I say, you're one of the most annoying blokes I've met.

[didorothy]

Really? Haven't aged that well, DS Carling. [and yes, now would be the bit where Sam just noted Ray's lower ranking despite his older age] Smoke, alcohol, and grease does that to you, I suppose.

[gotitwrong]

[Ray blows his smoke right in Sam's face] Woulda been DI if you hadn't come along, Boss. [he knocks some of the ashes to the floor] What, you gonna get at me for enjoyin' meself now? Can't stand the idea that some people know how to have a good time?