Fit the First

[perfect-shoes.livejournal.com]

[Walking, clearly distracted and mumbling to himself. He doesn't seem to notice much of what's around him, and what he does take in seems oddly expected.]

Doors, doors, there're too many doors in this place! First forests I didn't plant, then monkeys I never commissioned to write Hamlet -- I wanted Winter's Tale, damnit, there's that great bit about the bear -- , and then cats trying to trap me in boxes, it's all a bit much, I think. [He looks around, perhaps just realising that this wasn't where he was headed.] Now what is this place. I'm fairly sure I didn't have any of this in the TARDIS before. That's very strange. Usually the cat has answers, but it seems like the curiosity got the better of him. Or I hope so. Unpleasant thing. But there's no voice here either. No voice, no cat. Nothing to guide my way, what, where or when ever that way is. How odd. No, I'm definitely sure this isn't anywhere in my TARDIS.

[Loudly] Hello? Is anyone here? I'm mad. And I need to find a way. Doesn't particularly matter which way, just a way would be fine.

Comments

[perfect-shoes.livejournal.com]

Hmm? Do you need one? I would call one, but I don't have any here. On my ship, I mean. Although I suppose there must be, but it'd just be a hologram. Like you. Hello! Do you know a way?

[saythistostart.livejournal.com]

[He takes a moment to decipher that.]

I'm.. not a hologram.

[perfect-shoes.livejournal.com]

Aren't you? Everything else in the TARDIS is. I think. That doesn't make them any real, as my latest experience has just taught me.

But I did resolve something about Schroedinger's cat! The cat's obviously dead! Not because of the gas that may or may not have been released, but because it ran out of air. As it would.

[saythistostart.livejournal.com]

But... we're not in the TARDIS. Latest experience?

... What if the box wasn't air-tight?

[perfect-shoes.livejournal.com]

I was trapped in a lead box by a ten-foot-long cat.

Do you know of any lead boxes that aren't hermetically sealed? That's rather the point of the theory.

[saythistostart.livejournal.com]

Ten-foot-long cat...? [O-o]

I... don't know. But if you were trapped, how...?

[perfect-shoes.livejournal.com]

[Longcat visited the Doctor, mmyes.] Yes! Very rude of him.

Well, you see, I convinced him I was dead, and to make sure, he opened the box and I got out. Brilliant, no?

[That was totally not what happened, but anything to make him look incredibly intelligent.]

[saythistostart.livejournal.com]

[Internet memes have invaded Doctor Who? We're all doomed.]

Mm... that was a good idea. [He's not sure if he believes it, but he knows better than to aggravate people when they act too erratically. Who knows, it could be Imagin possession.]

[perfect-shoes.livejournal.com]

[DO U LEIK MUDKIPS ALKJSDFALKJSDF!?!?!]

Wasn't it?

[saythistostart.livejournal.com]

[lkdfnslkd DOOMED, I TELL YOU.]

Mm, I suppose so.

[perfect-shoes.livejournal.com]

[Like pie.]

... [Blink blink] Sorry, did you want something? Tea?

[saythistostart.livejournal.com]

[Did I miss the memo where pie became a doomed species?]

Tea? Ah... no. Um, do you want to know the way out?

[perfect-shoes.livejournal.com]

[YES. How dare you. We're moving to save pie with pamphlets! And visits to strangers! We have T-shirts!]

Out? No.. No! I can't go out. Out is bad.

[saythistostart.livejournal.com]

[It's not my fault, it must have gotten lost in the mail! ... Can I still have a T-shirt?]

It is?

[perfect-shoes.livejournal.com]

[Yes. ...FROM THIS T-SHIRT CANNON.]

Out means... Out means I won't be me anymore.

[saythistostart.livejournal.com]

[... can't you just hand it to me like a regular person?]

Won't be you? But... you were just out before you got here, weren't you...?

[perfect-shoes.livejournal.com]

[... But I'm not a regular person. I don't wanna be a regular person! DDDDD: I WANT T-SHIRT CANNONS.]

What? No, no, I can't be out. I was in the TARDIS. I'm still in the TARDIS.

[saythistostart.livejournal.com]

[BUT T-SHIRT CANNONS HURT. DX]

You're not... This is the Astral Plane. It's not the TARDIS.