007 - Merc With a Mouth To Feed

[mercwamouth]

[Deadpool is on the Plane, and he's a bit different. First of all, he's lookin' pretty down, and second, he brought some stuff.

[He's walkin' around with a moderately sized TV looking for a place to put it down.]

...Where should I plug this in?

[Suddenly he spots a medium-sized star in the "floor". It appears far away, but that doesn't stop Deadpool from jamming the cord into it. It seems to stay.]

Sweetness.

[Deadpool presses the power button.

[SNNRKZZRRCRACKBOOMsizzzzzzzlllleeee...]

Sizzle!? No sizzle!

[The TV starts shooting out smoke and catches fire.]

Dang, I guess that star was too big.

[Completely neglecting the fire!TV, he drops out of the plane and pops back in with a different set. This one he plugs into a smaller star.]

Maybe a little less power this time...

[He turns it on and he sees static.]

YES!!!

[He then pops out and pops back in with a... chair? It's shaped like a chair anyway. Not made out of any common materials though.

[Plastic explosives?

[Oh dear.

[He then pops back on with a remote control and hits a button. Suddenly, the static turns into an episode of "General Hospital".]

Yes! It worked!

[He lounges in his chair.]

[Aren't you forgetting something?]

[Deadpool notices the still quite intimidating fire from the first TV.]

Oh jeez! Almost forgot!

[Deadpool drops out, then pops back in with a bag of marshmallows and a stick with many marshmallows already impaled on it. He then begins to roast them over the TV fire.]

[As amusing as this is...]

And delicious!

[...I'm pretty sure you want to keep plastic explosives AWAY from fire.]

[Deadpool stops. He eats his slightly roasted marshmallows and then drops out again. This time coming back with a fire extinguisher. He then puts out the TV fire.]

You're no fun.

[He then resumes watching his Plane TV.]

This is the best idea I've had since I came here.

[The program then breaks for commercials and starts showing an ad for a stupid little ABC show called "Life on Mars".]

...OK, maybe I should set parental controls on this thing. Don't want anyone's heads to explode.

[Deadpool tinkers with the remote to lock out any shows that might cause other Shifters to have a mental breakdown. Doesn't mean Deadpool won't watch them, but unless they have the handy 4 digit password, no one else can.]

[Five bucks says the password is '1234'.]

[Deadpool finishes and then comes back with a cardboard sign that reads "WILL MERC FOR SWAG". He places the sign next to his explosive chair and starts channel surfing. Amongst the surfing, he comes across images of destruction, mostly caused by green aliens and green aliens disguised as recognizable Marvel superheroes (Skrulls), Presidential candidates Obama, McCain, and Colbert debating over the correct course of action for the recent invasion, and reporters freaking out 24/7. He then stops at a news channel showing clips of a man with an eye patch and a REALLY big gun blasting the hell outta some Skrulls. Nick Fury. Deadpool throws his remote at the set.]

Goddamn welcher...

Comments

[madamemoiselle]

{Watching the television curiously} Ne, you watch this thing too?

[mercwamouth]

I thought my ADD was a dead giveaway.

[madamemoiselle]

I rarely watch the thing, actually! I never really get the chance or reason to.

[mercwamouth]

It's not really about chance or reason. It's just something to do when you're not doing anything else. For boredom.

[madamemoiselle]

Oh, is that what people do? Usually when I get bored I just try to cook or maybe clean. I'm not very good at cooking, though, so I've been learning to clean more lately.

[witchmaker.livejournal.com]

[ Angela's peering at the box with curiosity-- her rabite contents itself with attempting to dive into the bag of marshmallows. ]

So your world has these talking picture boxes too?

[mercwamouth]

It's called TV, toots. "Talking picture box" lacks a certain je ne sais quoi.

[witchmaker.livejournal.com]

It lacks you don't know what? [ Oh remnants of the language plot~ ] Tee-vee sounds just as silly, though.

[ She sits on the Plane and watches for a little bit. ] This is what's going on in your world, then?

[mercwamouth]

Yeah... what else is on?

[Gets up to pick up the remote.]

[witchmaker.livejournal.com]

[ Before he can switch channels, she clues in to what's going on. ] Wait, invasion? Are things getting that bad in your world?

[contract_star]

[Peering at the TV.] Things have been rough back there?

[mercwamouth]

[Peers back]

...Yeah, but they've been rough before. I wouldn't worry. I'm sure the status quo will be restored just in time for the next crazy event.

[contract_star]

Anything new happen with the Skrulls?

[mercwamouth]

Not really. Same as before. My work in that department is done, so I don't particularly care. Also, I didn't get paid for said work, so now I really don't care.

[contract_star]

You didn't. Well, that's the worst.

[got-the-stones.livejournal.com]

What now? [Turns in the direction of the TV.] Oh, that's another one of those tee-vee things, huh?

[mercwamouth]

Another? Who else has one? They got TiVo?

[got-the-stones.livejournal.com]

I dunno. Someone else brought one of these here once.

[mercwamouth]

Who? Anyone I know?

[got-the-stones.livejournal.com]

[Shrug.] I don't remember. I just remember seeing one.

[buckingbronco.livejournal.com]

You can get TV signals here?

[mercwamouth]

So it would seem. I got the idea after I saw those girls with those Internet glasses. Figured if those worked, so should cable.

[buckingbronco.livejournal.com]

So internet and cable can reach here? That's interesting.

[Notices what's actually on the TV and just kind of stares]

[mercwamouth]

I guess so. Not sure what kind of practical applications that could have unless we wanted to set up an AT&T store.

[buckingbronco.livejournal.com]

[Looks away for the TV] We might be able to find some use for it and it's still good to know.

Is that what's happening in your world?