✘ 01

[damnfinecoffee.livejournal.com]

[Ianto’s stood on the Astral Plane, looking confused and more than a little concerned over his situation.]

…it must be the Rift. It doesn’t make sense any other way. But why didn’t we pick up anything on the scans? We’d just about got the monitors working again. We should have been able to tell if there was any activity. Unless they were faulty again... that really wouldn’t be all that surprising given how things are right now. Oh, God… Tosh… I can’t just leave her by herself. I’ve got to find a way back.

[He reaches up to his ear, attempting to work his already faulty headset. Unable to get it to work, he sighs, running a hand through his hair.] Hopefully she’ll think of something. The Rift Manipulator; maybe if she could get that working… no… there’re too many risks in that.

[He frowns, unable to think of any other solutions.] But there’s got to be something she can do…

Comments

[damnfinecoffee.livejournal.com]

So isn't that my choice to make?

[Ianto growls, releasing one of Jack's arms and delivering a punch to his face before replying.] I didn't have a choice. It was Lisa. I had to try; I owed her that much. I never said I wanted more attention the rest of them. I just didn't want less than the rest of them put together. After the lengths I went to so I could get into Torchwood Three I don't understand why you let me distance myself from you so easily. Fine; so nobody made me stay quiet... nobody held a gun to my head and forced me to act like that. I did it because it made things easier for me. But you did hold a gun to my head and try and force me to kill the girl I loved. Don't tell me you've already managed to forget that?

[itsthecoat.livejournal.com]

And you're going to make the wrong one.

[Jack doesn't retaliate, though his nails are digging into his palm hard enough to break the skin] You lied to me! You lied to all of us, sneaked her in behind our backs, used me to try and revive your dead girlfriend, and you feel betrayed that I did what I thought was right and simply let you be like you wanted? You complain about me letting you distance yourself and then tell me that you did it because it made it easier for you in the same breath; at the very least make up your mind about why you hate me. You saw what she had become, heard her talk about turning the Hub into another conversion unit; did you think I was just going to stand around and let a repeat of Torchwood One happen? I did to save those who were still human!

[damnfinecoffee.livejournal.com]

You said yourself I'm not going to be able to look at her without thinking about what's going to happen to her. I can't just carry on like normal when I knowing the one friend I have left is going to die.

I lied to you because I loved her. She was still Lisa at first; even at the end there was still some of her left in there somewhere. You didn't see her when you sent me in alone. You didn't hear some of the things she said. No matter how little of her was left, she wasn't completely gone. I still don't believe that. I told you why I hated you, and I told you why I hated myself. They're two different things, Jack. Believe it or not I don't think I'm blameless. I saw what she'd become, and I don't blame you for stopping her. But that doesn't mean you had to order me to kill her. What right did you have to even try to make me do that? [He stands up, turning his back; he knows that probably isn't his best option but he really doesn't care.]

[itsthecoat.livejournal.com]

It's not the right way of dealing with it! You can't start taking retcon every time you hear something you don't want to.

DO you think I did that just to be cruel? Do you think I did as some form of punishment? You may have betrayed me then, but my emotions had nothing to do with that decision!I was giving you a chance to end things yourself, to gain some sort of closure on your relationship with Lisa! As much as you hate me now, you would have hated me even worse if I'd simply shot her myself. You said it yourself; you were partially to blame, and putting Lisa out of her misery would've been your absolution. Have you even forgiven yourself for putting her through that just because you were unwilling to let go? [Jack is stubborn, however; he's unwilling to let the argument go unresolved, but refuses to back out either. He himself stands up, placing a hand on Ianto's shoulder and turning him around to facce him]

[damnfinecoffee.livejournal.com]

How else am I supposed to deal with something that hasn't happened yet.

[Ianto turns, but shrugs off Jack's hand with a glare.] You did it because I betrayed you. You're not stupid enough to think that having me kill her would help anything. You didn't even give me that option at first; you weren't exactly intending her to survive that pterodactyl attack, were you? You can go on about absolution all you like, but even if that was the case I don't need it. That's not something I deserve. I've never felt guilty for refusing to let her go, I believed she could be saved. I still think it could've been possible if we'd had enough patience with finding someone. The only guilt I've ever felt is that I had to betray you to get as far as I did, and that people that died because I didn't keep watch of her like I should've. I feel guilty because I couldn't do anything to save her even though I promised her I would. The one thing I don't regret is that I did everything I could not to let her go.

[itsthecoat.livejournal.com]

You learn to not let the deaths get to you.

Do you think you were the first one to try? Yo may have loved her, but you have to understand; there was nothing you could have done to save her. Those that are converted, even partially, loose the part of themselves that makes them human. I told you this over and over, but you were too stupid and too emotionally invested to listen to me. When you saw Myfawyny begin to attack her, it took two of us to keep you from trying to save her; there was no way I could've simply walked in there and shot her, not while you were still alive!

[damnfinecoffee.livejournal.com]

You mean like you? Hundreds of years old, and yet you still can't manage to keep your mouth shut about things that haven't happened to me yet.

No; I doubt I'll be the last, either. And one day someone's going to succeed. Don't just think you know everything, because you really don't. You barely knew her after she was converted, and not at all before. You didn't spend any time alone with her. There was some humanity left in her, whether you saw that or not. I couldn't just pretend she was nothing more than some screwed up metal monster. She was so much more than that. Even at the end there was still some of Lisa left. Not much, but enough so that I knew she was still there. I've told you this countless time, but you never listen. I would've rather you'd just killed both of us than have you even ask me to shoot someone I'd worked so hard to protect.

[itsthecoat.livejournal.com]

[Jack stays quiet for a long moment, simply watching Ianto. The next moment, however, his arm has reared back then lunged forward, fist connection with the side of Ianto's jaw. He's no longer looking at him, but at the floor; the punch wasn't the strongest he could muster, but it was still pretty close] Don't you ever dare say something like that to my face again! You can hate me all you want, kill me yourself if it makes you feel any better, but I will not let you die for as long as I can help it, much less kill you myself! You and Gwen are all I have left, damnit, all I have to protect, and I refuse to let either one of you go, especially now! I will not make the same mistake as Alex; Suies, Tosh's, and Owen's blood are already on my hands. I will not loose you two as well!

[damnfinecoffee.livejournal.com]

['Pretty close' is strong enough to knock Ianto down, but he doesn't make any move to stand up. He just lays there, glaring up defiantly until what Jack's just said sinks in.] What... what happened to Owen?

[itsthecoat.livejournal.com]

[Jack doesn't respond, just let's his arm fall limply at his side. He straightens up and walks over to Ianto, both his expression and his tone blank, unreadable] Get up.

[damnfinecoffee.livejournal.com]

Not until you've answered my question.

[itsthecoat.livejournal.com]

I told you to get up! [His voice is louder, harsher this time]

[damnfinecoffee.livejournal.com]

No. [Ianto's own voice is quieter than before, but just as harsh.] What happened to Owen?

[itsthecoat.livejournal.com]

I will answer the moment you stand, now get up, or do I have to drag you to your feet myself?

[damnfinecoffee.livejournal.com]

[He looks as though he might be about to disobey again, but seems to think better of it and stands reluctantly.]

[itsthecoat.livejournal.com]

[Jack looks up at Ianto's face, and for a moment there's a flicker of sadness in his eyes. It disappears quickly, however, his expression becoming neutral again] There was a problem at the Plant, which caused almost caused a meltdown; Owen stopped it, but was trapped inside in the process.

[damnfinecoffee.livejournal.com]

[Ianto doesn't reply, trying to keep his own expression as neutral as he can manage.]

[itsthecoat.livejournal.com]

[Though Jack's expression never changes, he reaches up and draws Ianto into a tight embrace; whether for his sake or Ianto's, he's not sure] I'm not loosing another one of you, not so soon after so much death.

[damnfinecoffee.livejournal.com]

[Whilst he doesn't return his embrace, he doesn't push him away either.]

[itsthecoat.livejournal.com]

[Jack didn't expect him to, not really, but only continues to hold Ianto lose, his arms shaking slightly; it was the first time he'd talked of Tosh or Owen since their deaths]

[damnfinecoffee.livejournal.com]

[He eventually wraps his arms around him with some hesitation. After their argument Ianto isn't sure why he's even here.]

[itsthecoat.livejournal.com]

[Jack's grip only seems to tighten. He refuses to openly apologize for the argument, but there is still a feeling of guilt about some of the things he said, as well as punching Ianto; he shouldn't have allowed himself to loose his temper like that] What are you going to tell her, about the bruise?

[damnfinecoffee.livejournal.com]

[He shrugs slightly, reaching up to touch said bruise. He doesn't take his arms from around him though, even if he doesn't want to apologise to him.] Might not have to tell her anything. We both occasionally get a few one way or another. I punched you too... what are you going to tell them?

[itsthecoat.livejournal.com]

[Doesn't really like the sound of that, but for once Jack keeps his comments to himself] Janet escaped from her cell recently; they'll just think I got it while wrestling her back in her cell [Despite himself, the tiniest of smiles appears on Jack's face, followed by s oft chuckle] You should feel proud; first team member to punch me, and twice at that.

[damnfinecoffee.livejournal.com]

I miss having the weevils around, sometimes. It's too quiet without them. [Ianto manages a small smile himself, though it's not as genuine as he'd like it to be.] Owen's shot you; I'm pretty sure I've never done that.