realityshifted | fourth flame [these miles have torn us worlds apart]

[Zuko is back! Not that he ever really went anywhere. He's been training pretty hard on and off the Plane recently, but royal life has picked up a bit too. Plans for an epic garrison battle are being set in motion, at least in the purchase of supplies and heightened activity around the palace. It's made him antsy, and Azula isn't helping. Recently, he found himself unable to resist an old pastime, especially since he needs a break.

This pastime involves something so simple, it might go unnoticed. He made sure to place himself somewhere adjacent to Ammy's forest so that it doesn't seem so out of place... and it's good cover, too. Zuko crouches at the edge of a small, man-made pond lined with round stones and filled with lilypads, as well as turtleducks. They're small and cute and ducky, except their middles are ... turtleshells. A shady tree suited for sub-tropic regions stretches out over it, shading the pond halfway. Zuko himself is wearing some variation of his royal robes, but it completely clashes with his shaggy (yet newly trimmed!) hair.

He tosses bits of bread into the water every once in a while, causing a frenzy of quacks as the baby turtleducks scramble for food. However, his mind is elsewhere right now.]

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[more to himself than the Doctor] It would make something like redirecting lightning impossible...

[except he totally heard that] Why would it make redirecting lightning impossible?

Oh... uh. There's a technique to redirect lightning through your body when it's shot at you, but if you let it touch your heart, you'll die.

Ah, well, I could probably get a heart to restart. I've been hit by lightning before.

That's not the same as in Firebending. At least, I don't think it is... I've never been hit by lightning or ... anything.

It's probably different, yes. Can you redirect lightning?

My uncle taught me how, but I haven't had a chance to use it. It's too risky.

Your uncle? Is he your mentor?

[... slightly pained look.]

... Yeah. He is.

[he sort of catches this is a Painful Subject] ...Oh. Sorry.

... It's not your fault. [clearly implying ZUKO DID IT]

[frowns] And how is it your's?

... He's in prison because of me.

...Oh. Did he take your place, then?

... Not exactly.

Ah, a more active role?

I don't want to talk about it.

... sorry.

No, I...understand, really, I do.

[then he smiles suddenly] I was warned away from you, you know that? Told you're completely heartless and evil. But I thought I would talk to you first and see what you're like. I must say, feeding those...turtleducks sort of threw off the image quite fast.

[Zuko nearly drops what remains of the loaf of bread in the pond. ~~The ducks are disappointed.~~ He doesn't know what to say, but outright gaping at Ten for long periods of time makes him seem more like a fish than a Firebender, so he closes his mouth and looks down at the water pensively. Maybe even a touch hurt.]

I've hurt the Avatar and his friends before. They have a right to feel that way.

[considers him for a moment, looking at him, then he says]

I don't doubt that you did. She certainly told me about it. But I also don't think you're heartless. You sound like you're want to redeem yourself and honestly, really trying.

[Zuko curls into himself, just a little. He's not sure what to say to that. It's... not what he's used to, having friends... people who believe in him. He's beset by a horrible feeling that he's going to let them down, and then he won't have anyone again, just like before. He turns a piece of bread over and over in his hand, then breaks it apart and tosses it to the turtleducks.]

... I can try all I want, but if they never turn, it'll all be for nothing.

[He shakes his head, still focused on Zuko]

No, no, it's not like that. I do understand the need for forgiveness. But trying to be a better person is worth it on it's own. Blimey, that sounds cliche, doesn't it?

[His gold eyes settle on the Doctor.]

I know that. But if they don't accept me when I come to them, being a good person won't matter.

[He shakes his head to clear his thoughts, but the torrent of frustration and self-hatred is always there beneath the surface.]

There's something I have to do for them. It's the only thing I can do. If I can't, it's over. When all this is through, Doctor, I won't have anything. Anything. And that's if I even survive.

[his eyes widen just a bit, though with his eyebrows raised, he looks a bit taken aback.]

More dramatic than I expected. Well. You sound like you know what you need to do. [he pauses, because there's something about Zuko that clicks with him, in the sort of way that reminds him of how he felt during the war] You have to be prepared for the chance of surviving, you know.

[Zuko looks away.] I plan on surviving. I've survived a lot.

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