mercwamouth: (squint)
Deadpool ([personal profile] mercwamouth) wrote in [community profile] realityshifted2008-08-23 11:20 pm

002 - Sucks to Be You

[Deadpool sits alone at the bar, surrounded by empty pitchers. Not sure why he's drinking so much, though. Not like he'll get drunk.]

I'm depressed, you ninny. When you're depressed you drink. It's not just about the alcohol, it's also about the atmosphere. It's how you express your hopeless loneliness.

[Kinda one-dimensional, don't you think?]

If it were any other character, yeah. but when I do it, it's dark and mysterious.

[Why are you depressed anyway?]

As if you don't know, Captain Exposition? Whatever. First we had the week of darkness, which started right when I began to watch "Return of the King" and I got back just as it ended. That was totally lame.

[Why didn't you just rewind it?]

And while I was in the darkness here, I spent most of the time acting like an unarmed wussy and embarrassing myself in front of the one person around here I don't want to embarrass myself around.

[That crush of yours is pretty hilariously pathetic, by the way]

And then I watched Diva die, made me feel like I was watching my own future. Being stabbed in the back by a guy named Nathan and dying unfulfilled.

[Actually, both of those things have already happened to you]

*sigh* I'm really starting to hate this place.

[Then why'd you come back?]

...Y'know, you are probably the chattiest writer I've ever had. It's really annoying, and coming from me, that's saying something.

[Look, you're depressed. Boo hoo, I feel so sorry for you. But people don't like you because of your brooding. They like you because you're hilarious and kick ass. You're slowly going from the bad-ass merc with a mouth to one of my mom's soap operas. It's annoying. Look I'm sorry things aren't panning out for that girl you like, but it doesn't really matter since you already have like 3 unrequited love interests in canon. Adding on more here would be a bit of a waste. And as far as Diva goes, it's not like you've never seen a friend die before. And you barely knew her. Plus she'll probably come back or something.]

You see that? Waaay too much chatter. You wrote like a whole paragraph. Anyway, just shut up, I think people are starting to look at me weird and I don't think I have the patience to deal with stupid questions about who I'm talking to or whatever.

[OK, fine. Be all moody. But hey, at least you have your costume and weapons back]

That is pretty awesome.

[identity profile] anjelsword.livejournal.com 2008-08-24 05:27 am (UTC)(link)
No notion what a dough-nut is, but yes.

[identity profile] anjelsword.livejournal.com 2008-08-24 05:40 am (UTC)(link)
[Eyeballing it with a healthy dose of skepticism.] This isn't like those M-M things, is it?

[identity profile] anjelsword.livejournal.com 2008-08-24 05:45 am (UTC)(link)
[Still very dubious. She accepts it, takes a ginger bite--and gags. SORRY DEADPOOL. SO MUCH PROCESSED... er... EVERYTHING doesn't really agree with her.]

Shit of Mithros. These are even worse.

[identity profile] anjelsword.livejournal.com 2008-08-24 06:03 am (UTC)(link)
[Glugging some ale from behind the counter now, because UGGHH.] How can you lot not die eating things like that all the time?

[identity profile] anjelsword.livejournal.com 2008-08-24 06:25 pm (UTC)(link)
[Giving him a very weird look. For both performances. But then she saw Jack shoot himself in the head and come back from it, so..]

And everyone can do that, where you're from?