A funeral for a duck

[bacchusprince.livejournal.com]

[Romeo's standing on the plane, dressed in black and carrying a shovel. He tries to dig a hole in the 'ground' but that isn't working. So, he disappears again and returns with a big firework rocket which he sets down in front of him.]

This will do...

[Out of his pocket he pulls a rubber ducky, the only thing keeping its head on its body is a piece of ducktape. Poor thing ran into Juliet with a pair of scissors and met its downfall. He kneels down and ties the ducky to the rocket. Then, he takes a step back and coughs before he starts to speak.]

Thank you all for gathering here as we say our farewells to Ducky. He was a good duck. Even if I didn't know him all that long he brought joy to my heart, as to many others. I have never seen a ducky who could float as well as he could, and when you pressed his tummy he made the cutest little squeaky noise. [There's a tear at the corner of his eye as he remembers it.]

It is very unfortunate how he met his end, a mad man and a pair of scissors... But he held himself brave until the very last moment of his life! And even if he'll now never squeak again, I am sure he floats on in the heavens. [He looks up at the sky and sniffs.] I will miss you buddy!

[He pulls a giant matchstick out of his inside pocket] Now, is there anyone else who would like to say a word before we send Ducky up to the stars to rest in peace?

Comments

[bacchusfairy.livejournal.com]

[Puck approaches the firecracker coffin, head bowed and veiled, the rest of him swathed in a black mourning dress (and pirate boots since he lost his heels).]

Ducky-chan... I-I miss you so much... As my lord said, you were the best duck there ever was. I'll make sure to take care of your twelve brothers and sisters, and I'll let them bathe whenever they want, a-and I'm sure you wouldn't like me to be sad so I -- [sniff] -- I'll be strong. E-even though I only knew you for a short time, it was ... it was such a wonderful time in my l-life, and I'll never f-forget it.

[EPIC BLOWING OF NOSE INTO A HANDKERCHIEF... probably stolen from Hamlet or something.]

There is one other thing I must do... for you, Ducky-chan... [Puck tucks the hankie back inside of his "bosom", then reaches in deeper and pulls out a pair of scissors. His eyes go straight to the crowd as if to look for Juliet, a crazed look on his face.]

[bacchusprince.livejournal.com]

[Such a beautiful speech! Romeo is moved by it! But, wait, did he just pull a pair of sciccors out of his 'bossom'?? That has to be dangerous.]

PUCK! No! [He tries to grab him so he can hug him close to his chest] Ducky wouldn't have wanted that!

[bacchusfairy.livejournal.com]

[Puck struggles for a bit.] Lemme go lemme go lemme go! [You are SO lucky you didn't get stabbed, Romeo.]

[bacchusprincess.livejournal.com]

I thought kids shouldn't carry sharp, pointy objects~ [just a little musing as he comes closer, really. Not because there are scissors in Puck's hand, and there is a Romeo nearby. What are you thinking...]

[bacchusprince.livejournal.com]

[Eyes Juliet and 'accidently' lets Puck go]

[bacchusfairy.livejournal.com]

[Puck runs in place for a second a la cartoon physics, then LAUNCHES at Juliet.]

REVEEEEEEEEEENGEE!!

[bacchusprincess.livejournal.com]

[frowns] Che- [backs away rapidly because IT'S A PUCK WITH A SHARP, POINTY OBJECT!] It was just a DUCK.

[bacchusfairy.livejournal.com]

HE HAD A FAMILY AND CHILDREN AND NO LIFE INSURANCE! [Puck is going straight for the hair. OH LORD.]

[bacchusprince.livejournal.com]

[DON'T MAKE HIM UGLY, ROMEO HAS TO LOOK AT THAT!!]

[bacchusprincess.livejournal.com]

[.......the hair? THE HAIR?! ASDFDFGDFJ!!! Backing away still!] I hope they all learn from their father's mistake then! [oh Juliet stfu and RUN?!]

[bacchusfairy.livejournal.com]

[Puck gives chase.] HIME-CHAAAAAAAN!! YOU'LL PAAAAY!!

[bacchusprincess.livejournal.com]

[snarls back at him] IT WAS YOUR FAULT IN THE FIRST PLACE, FAIRY. BEING TOGETHER WITH ROMEO LIKE THAT, AND BRINGING DUCKY! Bad move!

[bacchusfairy.livejournal.com]

He wanted to meet him!! HE WANTED TO! [Puck lunges, trying to grab Juliet by the hair so he can snip some of it. IT'S ON, BITCH!]

[bacchusprincess.livejournal.com]

ROMEO DOESN'T NEED ANY MORE OF YOUR CHILDISH GAMES! [ACK--- trying to dodge, because not the hair. NOT THE HAIR.]

[bacchusfairy.livejournal.com]

ROMEO LIKES PLAYING WITH ME!! [Puck lunges again. CRAZY WIDOW ON THE LOOSE]

[bacchusprincess.livejournal.com]

HE DOESN'T! HE LIKES TO PLAY WITH ME! [way to go Juliet... ASDFDFGHJH crazy Puck is actually scary! Juliet decides not to dodge but... run. Still.]

[bacchusfairy.livejournal.com]

I'M NOT A SPOILSPORT HOG PRINCESS LIKE YOU ARE!! [CHASE CHASE CHASE. Have some crazy laughter.] Yahahaha! AHAHAHAHA!

[bacchusprince.livejournal.com]

[If Puck thinks he's married to that Duck then I don't want to know what else he did with it]

[Oh and since they're not paying attention to him any more, he might as well light that match and send Ducky to the stars.]

Goodbye Ducky. [Oooh, pretty fireworks...]

[bacchusprincess.livejournal.com]

HOW WHAT?! [turns back, but omg that is THE laughter-- OH WHO CARES HE CALLED HIM SOMETHING UGLY! Prepare for battle, fairy. :|] AT LEAST I'M NOT STUPID AND USELESS LIKE YOU!

[bacchusfairy.livejournal.com]

I'M NOT USELESS I'M NOT I'M NOT I'M NOT!!

[Puck is still after your hair, Hime-chan.]

[bacchusprincess.livejournal.com]

YOU ARE, YOU ARE, YOU SO ARE!!

[ASDSDGFGJHK!!! But Juliet is too busy being hysteric-- D:]

[bacchusprincess.livejournal.com]

[Juliet came for the lulz is just standing a bit away, with a 'not impressed' face. Even though he has to hide a laugh at Puck's rage and the scene it made. Hell, this is fun.]

[bacchusprince.livejournal.com]

[Very disappointed in you, Juliet, but still glad you came]

[bacchusprincess.livejournal.com]

[He is just passing by, kthx? He doesn't need all this. :| And why is that that Puck's DUCK still gets more attention?!]

[bacchusprince.livejournal.com]

[Because it is dead and Juliet isn't.

I wonder if the twins bring back ducks.]

[bacchusprincess.livejournal.com]

[:| It isn't DEAD it's just thorn, and useless. Think twice when bringing over 'friends' for a bath, Romeo.

... Juliet, if he would hear that, would FACEPALM.]

[bacchusprince.livejournal.com]

[Romeo and thinking twice? Suuure. Still hopes he'll get a bath with Juliet though]

[bacchusprincess.livejournal.com]

[Oh, of course~! In the next century. :|]

[anjelsword.livejournal.com]

[Pats him on the shoulder.] Couldn't save him, lad?

[bacchusprince.livejournal.com]

[:|] No... Such a cruel fate, I should have protected him better!

[anjelsword.livejournal.com]

Ah, well. It happens to everyone, at some point.

[bacchusprince.livejournal.com]

We all get murdered by a jealous mad man with a pair of scissors?

[anjelsword.livejournal.com]

[Ohgod, if he doesn't stop she's going to explode from trying so hard not to laugh.] No, no, we can't protect everyone all the time.

[bacchusprince.livejournal.com]

But I only want to protect the ones I care about.

[anjelsword.livejournal.com]

Well. [Pats his shoulder.] Even that's easier said, sometimes.