02; He's a real nowhere man [sitting in his nowhere land]

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

[And since he has very little else to do besides sulk, have a wet, suit-jacket-less Doctor, coming fresh off of the S4 finale.

He looks rather unhappy. Have fun!]




OOC: Will more likely than not contain spoilers to s4 of Doctor Who.

Comments

[shatteredqueen.livejournal.com]

[clings to him, breathing heavily and crying] I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I didn't know, I didn't realise, just make it stop, please, I don't want to hurt I didn't do it on purpose I didn't know I'm sorry. She's alive and I'm sorry. I didn't know -- I didn't know, please, Doctor, make it stop it won't go away.

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

[terrified and horrified, he holds her and presses another feeling, this one of serenity, calmness: the TARDIS floating out near a supernova, soaking up energy like a sunbather]

It's all right, she doesn't blame you, it's all right.

[shatteredqueen.livejournal.com]

[takes deep, shuddering breaths, curled close as she slowly begins to calm, staring at the Doctor's shoulder] How did you keep fighting, feeling all of that? That ... that was worse than the drumming. How did you not go mad?

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

[rubs her shoulder, trying to be comforting]

The TARDIS needed me to be strong for her. Everyone did. I had something to fight for.

[shatteredqueen.livejournal.com]

[nods slowly, uncertain] I couldn't think, Doctor. I didn't know who I was anymore. I fought so long to get it all back after that year. Oh, so long ... but I can't, not in that place you put me. Not with the doctors and Martha Jones. I'm fighting too, don't you see? Isn't that worthwhile?

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

[gently] But who are you fighting for, Lucy?

[he hesitates, then adds:] I had a friend once. Donna. She thought she needed me to be brilliant but she didn't. She just needed something worth fighting for. She saved the universe without my help, might I add.

You don't need the Master, Lucy.

[shatteredqueen.livejournal.com]

Fighting for...? Myself, of course. I-I'm fighting for myself, for the things I want. I want what I was, want what I had, want the things everyone told me I couldn't have. But I had them, Doctor. I did.

[frowns] Donna? There's a Donna here. Such a wonderful woman. She said she'd go shopping with me. No one's gone shopping with me since you locked me away.

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

You were following. Imagine what you could do for you if you fought. [oh this is probably not the right tactic]

[sigh] That's Donna. Shopping in the middle of everything.

[shatteredqueen.livejournal.com]

[smiles faintly] I could rule the world, Doctor.

Oh, but she was brilliant. I rather liked her. We got on so well, after all.

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

Probably. See, me? I hardly have the patience to rule a lemonade stand, let alone a planet. But if you tried, I imagine you could.

[not doing so well in hiding saddness from his voice] Yeah. Her and I got on as well.

[shatteredqueen.livejournal.com]

Mmm, yes, I could. With Harry at my side.

[she picks that up] Past tense, Doctor? [raises a brow] Ah, is she the one, then...?

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

[eyeroll; will she never learn?] You know that pain I showed you? The Master caused that.

Doesn't matter.

[shatteredqueen.livejournal.com]

To something he didn't care for. I'm different. I'll prove that to you someday.

Of course it matters, Doctor. I wouldn't have bothered you if it didn't.

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

No, you won't. I was there. I saw how little you mattered to him.

[forced] This conversation is over.

[shatteredqueen.livejournal.com]

That isn't true. I won't believe you, no matter how many times you say it. [her conviction isn't quite there this time, however]

What are you afraid of, Doctor? It isn't as though I can do anything with what you tell me.

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

Then why isn't he here? Why am I giving you all this attention and he's ignoring you? Because only one of us cares and it isn't him.

I'm not afraid. [he lies!]

[shatteredqueen.livejournal.com]

You don't care about me, Doctor. You only care about fixing your mistake.

Then you can tell me what happened, can't you?

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

What mistake?

It doesn't matter what happened.

[shatteredqueen.livejournal.com]

Me. Losing Harry. Because you did lose him, didn't you? You have to make that better, don't you?

[sniffs] If it didn't matter, you wouldn't have come here soaking wet. Now come. You can tell me.

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

You're not my mistake. I only want to help you. You just don't want to be helped.

[impudently] It's none of your business.

[shatteredqueen.livejournal.com]

And the cycle continues.

Oh, now you're just being childish. I swear.

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

You could be the one to break it. And how much attention would dear Harry give you then?

I'm certain that was meant to wound.

[shatteredqueen.livejournal.com]

Except you're the only one who wants it broken. I most certainly don't want help, from you or anyone else.

Do you think that low of me that everything I do is negative? Or would you rather I put you through excruciating pain?

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

If all you want in life is to rule the universe with the Master, how could I possibly trust you?

[shatteredqueen.livejournal.com]

How would you ever honestly be able to help me if you can't?