realityshifted | (no subject)

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darker than black (da) misaki hirihara

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[Misaki, in sweats with a massive punching bag. She has gloves on and is whaling away at it, and from the coating of sweat shining on her face it looks like she's been at it a while. Her hair is damp and starting to come loose from her ponytail. She strikes the bag once more, setting it swinging, and then pauses to shed the gloves and stretch a bit. She takes a drink from the water bottle near the bag's base, tugs the gloves back on and resumes.]

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Do you miss him?

[Staring into space, lost in thought. She blinks and rubs at one eye.] Yes. Yes, I suppose I do. He was... we didn't see eye-to-eye on a lot, but he was a good person.

Despite being a Contractor?

Despite a lot of things. [She winces and rubs at her temple.] He was... he cared about things. He would act as thought he didn't... But now I don't know. Maybe he honestly wasn't aware he cared at all.

And what about you?

What about me?

You care, don't you?

I do. [Staring into space again.]

[Slight smile.] Maybe all Contractors do to some extent.

Maybe it's good that they don't get feelings back all at once.

You'd know better than me.

[She leans her head back against the frame.] It feels a bit like my head's going to explode, actually.

Need any pain killers?

No, thank you. It's not physical so much as... [Tries to think of an accurate analogy.] A bit like fruit in a smoothie, really. [With little raspberry thoughts.] Thoughts just buried and then chopped to bits under the weight of everything else.

[Ianto may never drink smoothie again.] The thoughts get to you sometimes.

[Mmm, yummy gray matter]

They do. [She pats the bag with the back of her hand.] It's easier when I'm doing things like this. I can just... focus. There's no emotion attached to it, so I don't get swamped.

Edited 2008-07-07 06:02 (UTC)

It distracts you. It's easier to deal with things when they're in the back of your mind.

Exactly. This is one of the things that seems to work best.

I'm glad you've found something that works for you.

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