realityshifted | (no subject)

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doctor who (dl) the brigadier

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[and the Brigadier is on the plane, looking the exact opposite of pleased. he has a hand pressed to his side, and is wincing just a bit] Damn! Bloody, hotheaded... going to get someone killed!

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{Sigh} Fine.

'Fine' doesn't mean you understand. If you'd kill them for harming someone you care about, why shouldn't we be on alert for what you've done? [he pauses] You've most certainly harmed someone I care about - and I'll be damned if I let you lay another hand on her.

{Surprised} I did? Who do you mean?

Donna Noble, for one.

Oh, well I'm certainly not planning to. {With a frown} When I talked to her afterwards, it was alright. She was very nice, I think.

You're missing the point. If someone killed someone you cared about, you'd kill them. Yet you seem to get huffy because I'm looking out for someone I care about.

Oh, no, that's not why. I don't mind that at all. Actually, it's kind of a nice change because usually people do try and kill me. {sigh} The only part that really bothers me is not getting to Sam when I want to, or, well, not getting to see him without someone else there.

{Thoughtfully} It's like getting punished. That's never happened because I killed someone before. It's strange.

It is a punishment. That's what happens when you do something wrong. Though typically, murderers are put on trial and locked up for years. If you do something wrong, you get punished for it. That's how it ought to be.

A trial? Ne, by the time one of those even got started, I would be asleep, I bet. Besides, I'm only with people for three years at a time. I think being away from them for thirty years in between, that's close enough, right?

No. It isn't. [he pauses] Do you even feel any remorse? Regret?

{Considers it before she shakes her head} No, I don't think so. I don't know what it's like to feel things like that.

[he starts fiddling with his swagger stick, then points it at her] And that is why I cannot let this go. People, honest, caring people, feel remorse and regret when they do something wrong. If you truly wanted to change, you'd have felt something.

[he then thwaps the stick against his hand] You don't just kill and go on as if you had just simply ...broken a twig or something. People who do that are mad, they're the type of people that ought to be locked away for a long time.

{Her eyes are on the stick now} I do want to change, but I don't feel anything like that. Well, no, I do, but only because of how doing that affects me. Not for anyone else, which doesn't really count.

Gene wanted to lock me up too, but what good would it do, really?

So, basically, you only care about yourself? It doesn't matter if someone dies, only if it affects how people react to you? [for a brief moment, he actually looks slightly disgusted] That's the worst sort of person in the world.

It'd keep people safe from you.

...The worst? Am I that bad of a person?

To me, yes. I've dedicated my life to serving other people, to protecting other people. I've sacrificed a lot to keep people safe - including complete strangers. To me, someone who cares only about themselves is someone who is worth very little.

...worth...very little. Why is that?

Because it takes a strong person to see beyond their own needs and situation to help out others.

I don't understand. If being 'strong' is helping others, then does that only apply to humans? Is it 'weak' to survive?

It applies to every species, or so I've always thought. [he then sighs, puts the stick away, and hands back behind his back] That kind of survival just means you'll be the only one left - or that you'll just be lonely for the rest of your life.

{Frowns, her brow furrowing} No, that's not right. I've been lonely for as long as I can remember, before I knew anything else. I was born into it, so that's just bad luck.

[he sighs with frustration] I don't know why I'm bothering, you obviously aren't getting it.

...No, I'm not. But I want to understand.

Then you need to stop thinking about how things only affect you.

Well...I'll try, at the least. That's not something that'll change right away.