Watch as I wontonly rape my app!

[shatteredqueen.livejournal.com]

This is like that time, when there was nothing. Only a vast, dark emptiness. How … how did I get back here? I can’t be here, this is the end of creation, the end of time. Harry isn’t here, so how… how am I…?

There weren’t stars there, though. No stars, no time, no anything. Only loneliness and cold and death. It was so empty, so very empty. Everything, just gone…

But no, I can’t be there. Harry is gone and he can’t take me back. I can’t be back. So where is this? How did I get here, I demand to know!

Comments

[shatteredqueen.livejournal.com]

I watched them all wither away to nothing. Watched the darkness swallow them whole and neverending nothingness go on for eternity until eternity died away, too. [stares into the middle distance] It was horrible and beautiful, all at once. The end of everything. But I was alive. I was with Harry. He was Master and I was his Queen. There would be no end for us. But then there was. Just ... nothing. All of emptiness eating away at me because of the Doctor.

[miseardae.livejournal.com]

[peers at her, curious but tentative]

What did the Doctor do?

[shatteredqueen.livejournal.com]

He took Harry away from me. He's all he wanted, all Harry would talk about. [makes a face] He wasn't Harry anymore. Only the Master. He didn't need me, didn't want me. He only wanted the Doctor, and the Doctor took it all away. Harry gave me everything I ever wanted but he didn't want me. Only the Doctor. It was always, always the Doctor.

[miseardae.livejournal.com]

[softly]

Why blame the Doctor, and not your Harry?

[shatteredqueen.livejournal.com]

Why should I blame Harry? I love him. It's the Doctor's fault he left. The Doctor tore us apart, he took everything away. It wasn't Harry's fault. It was the Doctor. It as always, always the Doctor. [smiles faintly, eyes empty] I tried hurting him. But I couldn't even do that.

[miseardae.livejournal.com]

[gently, but insistently]

Harry didn't have to leave. He didn't have to ignore you.

You deserve better than that.

[shatteredqueen.livejournal.com]

He didn't, no. But the Doctor made him. Harry would never have left me if not for the Doctor. It's all his fault! [blinks rapidly, seeming to come back to herself, and shakes her head] I don't know what you're talking about. You can't possibly understand. You don't know him. Harry was wonderful to me. To my family. How could I do better?

[miseardae.livejournal.com]

Well, it seems to me that he was obsessed with the Doctor, to the point of excluding all else, even you; oughtn't he have been stronger than that? Better than that?

Instead, he left you all alone.

[shatteredqueen.livejournal.com]

You don't know him. Harry ... he's a wonderful man. He's so talented and dedicated and brilliant. He changed the world. He ruled the world, until the Doctor came and took it all away. That man ... he destroys whatever he touches. He destroyed my life and I couldn't even hurt him back. I tried saving Harry from him and he wouldn't even let me do that!

[miseardae.livejournal.com]

[his brow furrows in confusion]

Then why did the Doctor triumph? Why did Harry let him?

[he shakes his head]

I'm sorry, I'm just...trying to understand.

[shatteredqueen.livejournal.com]

He didn't let him. He'd never let anyone win. But the Doctor ... he still did. Martha Jones turned the world against Harry and then saved him when he should have died. [that faint smile returns] He didn't want to be the Doctor's pet, you see. He didn't want to be trapped with him. So I decided not to let it happen. I saved him, because I love him. He should have been saved, but I couldn't even be allowed that.

[miseardae.livejournal.com]

So the Doctor and his ally were stronger?

...Did Harry ever thank you, for trying?

[shatteredqueen.livejournal.com]

In his way. I've only recently seen him since it happened. The Doctor took him away and locked me up in this horrible estate with doctors and UNIT. I haven't been allowed to see Harry until I came here.

[miseardae.livejournal.com]

[softly] I'm sorry. It seems you've had a horrible experience.

[gestures at the stars around them] This should be an interesting change of pace, at least.

[shatteredqueen.livejournal.com]

Oh, it certainly is, if a tad overwhelming at times.