006 // rebirth

[sucre-justice.livejournal.com]

[L appears, eyes abnormally wide (even for him).  He takes a step forward as soon as his form coalesces upon the Plane, sinking into a crouch hastily and fisting a handful of the front of his shirt at his chest.  He says nothing.]

Comments

[b-ittersweets.livejournal.com]

[Hey look, it's L. The man he's been constantly searching for for days. Is it his L? Has L died? B doesn't know for sure. He calmly approaches him as soon as he spots him, standing and staring down at him when he gets there. Why is he gripping his shirt? B senses that there is something wrong. He is 90% sure that this is the L he knows.]

L.

[B marvels at the fact that he can pour so much emotion into one letter. He's not sure any of it audible, but it is there; it makes it momentarily difficult to say.]

[sucre-justice.livejournal.com]

[L doesn't respond. He's staring off into space with a distant look in his eyes. He's obviously out of it.]

[b-ittersweets.livejournal.com]

...

[It isn't like L not to respond, B thinks. He crouches down and sits right in front of him, facing him. Staring at him.]

L?

[sucre-justice.livejournal.com]

[the repeat of his alias with B directly in his line of vision seems to jar him from his state of spaciness, and he looks into the other's face, almost as if surprised. he stares at him for long moments without saying a word, before dropping his head.]

[b-ittersweets.livejournal.com]

[B is...surprised. Isn't this completely opposite to how it should be? L, the calm, all-knowing comfort. B, the unstable, disturbed mind. And yet, B finds he does not hesitate for a moment in stepping into this new, unfamiliar role.]

L. What - What has happened? What...? [He eyes L's hand, still clutching his shirt.]

[sucre-justice.livejournal.com]

[as if realizing for the first time he had grabbed at his shirt in such a manner, he releases it slowly and smooths out the fabric before lifting his head, a finger finding his mouth. he seems to be resembling his normal self, now.]

I lost.

[b-ittersweets.livejournal.com]

...

[And so it all makes sense. His absent stares, his unresponsiveness. He is acting in an unfamiliar way because he is in an unfamiliar situation. One that he does everything to avoid.]

L doesn't - lose... [He knows it's true, though. With the Kira case, the notebook of death, and Light Yagami - an apparently intelligent rival - B doesn't feel that he even needs to ask the specifics.

Very quietly, almost in a whisper:] L doesn't lose. [But B doesn't know how to phrase this without making it sound like he doesn't believe it, or like he's scolding him. Though, perhaps the former is part of it. B does not doubt the truth, but he finds it unbelievable. Loss? No. Not for L. Not when B himself had so directly proved it.

But B is attempting neither of these things. He is trying to eliminate the finality to his tone. He is trying to help him.]

L - L may have lost the battle, but he will win the war.

[sucre-justice.livejournal.com]

[L considers this in silence for a moment.]

If that is true, then it's a shallow victory at best. There is no finality in ...'death' for me, but the same is not true of Light Yagami. If he loses, there are no second chances, no returns from the grave. [mumbling:]...or so I'd hope.

[his childish immaturity is showing. he wanted to win - no, had to win. he's lost, and there is no way to sugar coat it in his head.]

[b-ittersweets.livejournal.com]

[B nods absently. He understands this thinking very well. Still, the Astral Plane may be supernatural, but nothing about the Kira case, from what B understands, is natural.]

L...Light Yagami is using a notebook of death. That, in itself, defies all logic. It is not fair. Such a method...[B voices the thoughts he'd had earlier. Thoughts that were never meant for L's ears, but now seemed necessary.] ...it is cheap. It gives him an advantage he should not have. Perhaps...[He gets quieter.] ...like the advantage you should not have. [It hurts him to say this, given that B is eternally grateful for the advantage that L should not have.]

So, Light Yagami has the notebook, and L has the Astral Plane. You are even.

[sucre-justice.livejournal.com]

[L has already went down this path of logic, yet it is little consolation. He gives a shallow nod in response, before he's all business yet again.]

B, have you been back to your reality since you were re-animated?

[b-ittersweets.livejournal.com]

[B hesitates before answering. He is not sure they should let the issue of L's loss go; B is concerned for what it will do to him. But he concedes.]

No, I have not.

[sucre-justice.livejournal.com]

I see.

[L chews momentarily on his thumb.]

I remember you telling me that your ability to see lifespans disappeared once you returned. Were there any other changes that you're aware of?

[b-ittersweets.livejournal.com]

No...none that I'm aware of - other than the rejuvination of my skin.

[sucre-justice.livejournal.com]

Hm. There is nothing physically different about me? [L looks down at himself as though he isn't sure - because, he really isn't, though his assumption is correct and he's fully intact and seemingly no different than before.]

[b-ittersweets.livejournal.com]

[B blinks and looks him over, too.] There does not appear to be... [He takes a long pause.] You do not feel different?

[sucre-justice.livejournal.com]

No. [he lays his hands on his knees, sitting still for a minute.]

...I have a semi-masochistic curiosity to examine my reality.

[b-ittersweets.livejournal.com]

[Slowly, B nods.] I would too, was I not afraid of the consequences.

[Pauses.] You will see it eventually, won't you? I wouldn't expect you to stay here permanently.

[sucre-justice.livejournal.com]

Of course. I could hardly permit Light Yagami the pleasure of victory. [L's fingers upon his knees tighten.] Though, I'm beginning to wonder if our 'realities' are really the definition of 'reality' at all.

[b-ittersweets.livejournal.com]

[B considers it. Certainly, for him, his time spent on the Astral Plane has felt more real than his entire life back in his "reality". But he hadn't considered the possibility that the Astral Plane was truly the most "real" - and not only for him, but for everyone.]

It is...very possible. Though I imagine the idea would take considerable adjusting to - for most, anyway.

[He's very curious, so he asks:] What makes you think this?

[sucre-justice.livejournal.com]

A great many things. Let's consider the consistencies, rather than the inconsistencies, first.

All of us have met Lapis and Lazuli, and Ms. Sault. We all recall visiting the shop. All of us, obviously, have access to the Plane - which is the singular point of convergence and constance between us, regardless where we are from or what, who we are. And here, death is not final.

Besides this, our 'realities' do not seem to tick by while we are not 'in' them, which suggests that our presence is a defining factor in their existences. If we were to die permanently - if the twins and Ms. Sault were to allow us to remain deceased - would our worlds cease to exist with us? Is the Astral Plane the only 'true' reality we know?

[b-ittersweets.livejournal.com]

[B nods, following along L's line of thought.] From all of the supernatural things that are occuring in our realities, and in others' realities, it seems possible that logic as we know it is fabricated, and that the rules of nature here are predominant. They are the only rules by which we must all live; they seem to override all others. One could almost say that they are more "real" to us, given that they apply.

And if that is the case...perhaps death is not a natural occurence. At least, permanent death that removes one from the universe altogether. Perhaps death in our "realities" naturally leads here, and we, for some reason, have been taken here before our time.

[sucre-justice.livejournal.com]

[L says nothing for a minute, simply chewing introspectively on his finger before finally answering.]

That is a possibility... It would certainly be much less unsettling if our 'hosts' were more forthcoming. Whatever our 'hosts' are attempting to learn vicariously through us must be incredibly worthwhile if they're willing to return us from 'death' time and time again when necessary. The twins make it seem a long and disdainful process. Which, again, lends to our individual importance - couldn't we simply be replaced much more easily? Or, do our 'deaths' provide some sort of effect of interest?

[b-ittersweets.livejournal.com]

[B nods slowly, chewing his finger in thought.] I am inclined to think that our "deaths" offer some sort of insight into whatever it is they are investigating. If re-animation is indeed such a painstaking process, one would think they would make more of an effort to avoid it.

[Re-animation certainly is an interesting thing to consider. B tries to imagine his own lifeless body lying on the table he had woken up on, with the twins above him. What would the process be? He can not even begin to guess. And is he actually a living human being? He has not considered it until now, but it is possible that his body is artificial. If only he could see an x-ray...]

...I wonder if we are the same inside as we were before death.

[sucre-justice.livejournal.com]

...Indeed.

[L opens his mouth to explain that he could inquire after Watari to schedule a physical examination on his behalf, but a second later, it clicked shut again, and he chews on his thumb instead.]

Perhaps I'll ask the twins to indulge my curiosity. I have yet to speak with Ms. Sault, either, though I imagine she's no more forthcoming. Even so, I can attempt to arrange a meeting...

[b-ittersweets.livejournal.com]

[B wonders briefly what L was going to say before he closed his mouth. He doubts that it indicates anything good.

He nods slowly again. He has the vague desire to take a knife and cut himself open right now, just to see. But he is knife-less, and in the presence of L, who would no doubt be unappreciative of his method.]

I could do the same. It would be beneficial to have two sets of data, for the sake of consistency. Especially since the details of our deaths are different, and could possibly impact how we were revived.