realityshifted | (no subject)

[The Master is currently outside of his Fortress of Solitude aka the kitchen. He is outside of it, despite the irregularity of his phasing, because that area of the Plane is occupied by one, Lucy Saxon.

And while he may be just one step above rabid, he is sane enough to realize that going in there will subject him to such horrors as should never be named. Ergo, he is hiding some distance away.]

[Lucy, meanwhile, is toiling away in the kitchen, several bowls strewn about the counters and no less than two cookbooks propped open that she constantly goes back to read through. she has a slightly crazed look on her face -- that half-crooked smile she gets when she's lost in thought and focused on 'Harry' -- looking for all the world like a fish out of water.

this cooking thing really isn't her strong point but damnit, she's going to make the Master something delicious if it's the last thing she does]

[The Master crouches down on all fours, creeping along the floor from behind a countertop that is well away from her as she focuses on her task. He's watching a cupboard, debating whether or not he should break cover and possibly reveal his position in order to procure foodstuffs. He would go back to his own world but, well, he gnawed on everything in the immediate vicinity already.

Slinking closer to the edge, he breaks away from his hiding spot and makes a beeline for the cupboard in the hopes that he can find something in there to tide him over until she's done cooking.]

[unfortunately for him, Lucy chooses that moment to turn and check one of her cookbooks. well hello there, Master!]

[Damn. And the cupboard had produced nothing. He stands, though he is seriously debating running as an option at this juncture.] Lucy.

[she just grins] I'm almost done, you know. It won't be a tic, I promise, Harry.

[he offers up a hesitant grin of his own. Dying would be preferable to this.] Oh, you don't have to go through all this trouble.

It's no trouble, dear. I only want to make you happy.

I was only interested in a snack. Not feeling all that peckish, really.

[frowns] I insist. You look dreadful, dear.

It's nothing. Just the degeneration. I can keep it under control. [offers a smile but it is more of a grimace as he phases out for a moment.] For the most part.

[her face says otherwise. she is concerned, Master! now eat her cooking :|]

[No, never! He takes a step out of the kitchen and away from her.]

Harry! [chases!]

[runs away!]

[ooc; I'ma headed to work so Lucy's replies will come later!]

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{LMFAO THIS POST IS BEAUTIFUL}

Ne, do you need help, Lucy? I can catch him, if you want! ♥

[Hee! It was a lot of fun to put together with them but-

RAGERAGERAGE!!! He skids to a stop, turning and glaring heatedly at Diva for even suggesting it. His hands spark with energy.]

Don't you dare!

[Oh look, it's the batshit lady who could easily be one of his cousins. And her equally batshit...husband? Boyfriend? Sirius can't really tell. Not that he cares, while he's in doggy form. He's more interested in nomming on whatever Lucy is cooking up in the kitchen. Don't eat him, Master! He's too skinny to be filling.]

{Sharply,} Don't be such a baby. Lucy is only cooking for you, stupid.

[Does the Master look like he wants whatever she's been cooking in there? He wouldn't be surprised if the dog yelped and cowered away from the kitchen forever after that. :|]

Seems Scruffy over there enjoys your cooking. I'm not going to share with the dog. [And no one had better bring up the cheetah.]

[The Master here? Still not going anywhere near his wife. Ex wife. Self's wife. Oh, whatever.]

I told you, I'm not all that hungry, really.

[voice a low hiss] Clearly, you've never had her cooking.

[Hey man, he'll eat anything. And he ignores that scruffy comment. For now. :|]

...It can't be that bad, can it?

Try some and then we'll talk.

[Jade wanted curry, but there are very ridiculous people in the kitchen. How distressing.]

My, my, such a passionate lover's quarrel. I should come back later.

[Or watch them run around and cook to their rather amusing suffering. Both are valid options.]

It wouldn't matter anyways. I can't taste anything.

How lucky for you.

Well, whatever, that's not the point. You should still eat Lucy's food. It's polite!

Why leave when there's plenty to go around? [Desperation? Yes, just a bit.

Wait, no, he just caught that first bit.] This is not a lover's quarrel.

[He is fine with the mongrel eating as much as he likes. :|]

Save room for dessert, I'm not hungry. [Which is such a lie but he is not going to eat any of it.]

If you could taste anything you would ignore that courtesy and run screaming in terror. [Cruel and sarcastic, yes, but he doesn't care.]

[it's amazing shut up]

Oh, would you, Diva?

[d'aaaw puppy]

Keep out of that! Those are for Harry.

[annoyance works!]

You're always hungry.

Oh, it's not a quarrel, I assure you.

[Padfoot gives the Master a dubious look. He doesn't really believe him, since he keeps bringing up the food.]

[Have a "you don't really mean that, do you?" look from Padfoot, Lucy. :3]

[oh she means it]

[Padfoot stops, but makes sad puppy noises. How could you! :(]

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