✘ 49

[damnfinecoffee.livejournal.com]

[On the Plane is the interior of a bridal shop.

At one end of the shop, in the maternity section, is Ianto. He's currently preoccupied with looking in the mirror in front of him, holding one of the maternity dresses against himself like so.

Slightly more to the norm is the irritated expression on his face. The salesman at this particular shop can be blamed for that.

Really. What's the world coming to when you can't buy a wedding dress for a friend without people making stupid assumptions?

Apparently deciding that this dress isn't to his Gwen's liking, he hangs it back on the rack. It only takes him a moment to pick out another one, and then it's back to holding the dress up to himself in front of the mirror.]

((Canon bump. Again. This time to Something Borrowed.))

Comments

[humanwaterdemon.livejournal.com]

[Have a Bai peeking over your shoulder Ianto] That's nice.

[damnfinecoffee.livejournal.com]

[Makes a vague noise of agreement, not taking his eyes away from the mirror.] Nicer than the last one I looked at, anyway. Problem with maternity dresses is that it's a nightmare to get hold of one as good as an ordinary wedding dress.

[humanwaterdemon.livejournal.com]

[Yeah, Bai will be giving him a quick glance up and down at the "maternity" bit and very slowly coming to the conclusion that it isn't for him, human males don't usually get pregnant after all] ...Who is getting married then?

[damnfinecoffee.livejournal.com]

[...Have a barely noticible twitch. He has a faint suspicion that she might have made the same mistake as the sales assistant did. Also, you're wrong, Bai. See: Jack.]

My friend. Gwen. Things took a bit of an unexpected turn, and she's in need of a new dress.

[humanwaterdemon.livejournal.com]

[There's nothing to be ashamed of Ianto! Bai approves of people wearing pretty dresses no matter who they are, And Bai would like to meet and impregnate this Jack person, if he means that she could carry on her genes and yet never have to see the little brats again] She suddenly got pregnant?

[damnfinecoffee.livejournal.com]

[He's not wearing a dress. And there will be no impregnating of Jack by anyone. :|

He holds up another dress, judging by the look on his face, this one meets his approval more than the others have.]

Pretty much. Alien bit her last night; this morning she wakes up practically full term. Kind of like surrogacy, I suppose. Just a bit quicker. And without consent. Bit of a nasty shock on your wedding day.

[humanwaterdemon.livejournal.com]

[Bai is saddened by that. :|

She makes a faint "ooh" sound, but otherwise looks rather confused]

...I did not know that such things could happen with humans.

[damnfinecoffee.livejournal.com]

Well, they don't normally. Just when aliens decide to interfere.

What do you reckon to this one? [Nods down to the dress.]

[humanwaterdemon.livejournal.com]

Do they interfere often?

[Nodnod] It's nice, I think that it'll suit her.

[damnfinecoffee.livejournal.com]

As often as they can. Especially when we least want them to.

[Grins.] You don't even know what she looks like. What makes you so sure it'll suit her?

[humanwaterdemon.livejournal.com]

How many are there?

[Because she'd steal it herself if she wasn't so lazy] It just looks nice.

[damnfinecoffee.livejournal.com]

Aliens? Not a clue. Too many, really. Not enough of them nice.

[Considers it carefully, then hangs it on the end of the rack.] It's definitely nice. I'll put it in the 'maybe' pile. I think a need to look at a few more before I decide, though.

[madamemoiselle.livejournal.com]

{lol wut}

It doesn't suit you.

[damnfinecoffee.livejournal.com]

[:|]

It isn't for me.

[madamemoiselle.livejournal.com]

Then why are you holding it up to yourself?

[damnfinecoffee.livejournal.com]

Because the friend I'm buying it for is currently unavailable, and I don't have any other way of seeing how it will look when it's being worn.

[madamemoiselle.livejournal.com]

Well looking at it on yourself isn't going to help. What does she look like? I might be able to help you more with that.

{Dresses are very important!!}

[damnfinecoffee.livejournal.com]

You don't need to know what she looks like. My father was a tailor. I think I can work out what will suit her on my own.

[Pauses, because that's all well and good, but he doesn't really have a womanly physique.] Although you wouldn't mind holding this up to yourself would you? You're smaller than her, but you've got better proportions than me.

[madamemoiselle.livejournal.com]

I'm not asking because of that. I could probably change into someone that looks like her, that's why.

{But she does take the dress, and she holds it up to herself}

It's pretty, though. It's a wedding dress, right?

[damnfinecoffee.livejournal.com]

...Really?

[He nods, taking the dress back and hanging it at the front so he remembers where it is.] Right. Colleague of mine; Gwen, was supposed to get married today. Then this morning she woke up suddenly nine months pregnant with an alien. She still wants to go ahead with the wedding, so naturally it falls down to me to buy her a dress.

[madamemoiselle.livejournal.com]

...How can you suddenly find yourself pregnant?

[damnfinecoffee.livejournal.com]

Aliens. How else?

[madamemoiselle.livejournal.com]

That's still ridiculous.

Well, describe her to me, then. How tall is she, sizes, things like that. I've probably had someone with the right body type.

[damnfinecoffee.livejournal.com]

[Sigh, Diva. He pulls a slip of paper out of his pocket that has all Gwen's measurements written down.] Didn't think I'd buy come and buy her a dress without writing down her new measurements, did you?

[madamemoiselle.livejournal.com]

I would hope not, if you're the son of a tailor.

{She takes the paper and considers the measurements thoughtfully before she nods, and instantly changes into an ordinary looking woman with the exact measurements. Diva looks down at herself, nodding}

Ne, this looks about right, I think.