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toejam & earl (d1) toejam

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[Somebody might notice a bright red three-legged alien creature running around in a panic, tossing jars every which way as he flails his arms. But hey, maybe that sort of thing is normal here. He slows down after a couple of seconds as it dawns on him that he isn't where he once was.]

Wait a sec. Now where on Funkotron is this? It ain't no Funk Zone, and it ain't Trixie's pad. Yo Earl! Earl! You here? Remember when I told you about them funny Earthlings with the store? No? Not here, Earl? Ah well.

It's been fun, funky Earthling twins, but I really gotta skidaddle. Jar up some of the Earthlings that are running around kicking people in the shin, and throwin' tomatoes, and shootin' spitballs, and old ladies with their armies of poodles. Poodles ain't nice dogs.

...Then again, nobody's gonna mind if I ain't there for a bit. Give my knee caps some rest, y'know. They won't mind that.

[[ooc: ~~At work. Tags may be erratic~~. Sporadic is what I meant. Home now!]]

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...
[what.]

[...he's seen stranger than this. He really has. He catches aliens for a living, for God's sake. So he really shouldn't be staring.

Naturally he's staring anyway.]

[Oh crap it's an Earthling! He cautiously pulls out a jar, keeping one arm out in front of him like the human's a wild animal.]

Now stay calm, Earthlin' dude. I'm just gonna put you back with your friends, ai'ight?

I beg your pardon?

You keep on starin' I'm gonna have to charge pay-per-view.

...aliens have pay-per-view?

This ain't gonna hurt, pro'ly, an' I promise you'll be back on yo' own planet in no time. Now hold still! [He tosses the jar at Mu. If Mu doesn't dodge it'll either suck him in or, more likely, bounce off harmlessly.]

Ain't a hard concept, dude. You pay, ya view. Now, you look like an' upstandin' individual. Suit. Tie. Pro'ly do a lot a paperwork and shit. A man like you oughtta understand the finer points of makin' this easier for both a' us. [He pulls out a jar.] So what do you say you just get in the jar an' I ship ya home and we call it a day, yeah?

... Ew.

[ Angela is the queen of tact. ]

I'm not going to get in a jar of all things. I'm perfectly capable of getting home without it, thank you.

Whatdya mean "ew"? I look damn good!

[His eyes narrow, clearly conveying that he does not believe Ianto.] Mind tellin' me how? Far as I know, the only ship goin' 'tween Earth an' Funkotron is the one me an' Earl are renting.

To what? A crab?

Well, as far as I know this isn't 'Funkotron'. What kind of a species names their planet Funkotron, anyway?

[He's never seen anything like quite like this before, and can't help but stare.]

What are you?

A highly funky species, obviously.... This ain't Funkotron? Well where is it?

Damn girl, you breakin' my heart over here. You always this friendly?

Me? I'm just Funkotron's next risin' star. Some people call me DJ TJ.

[WEll, to be safe he steps out of it's trajectory, watching it go flying past where he was a moment ago]

I'm not somewhere I shouldn't be. I know how to return from here.

Sounds more like a species that's stuck in the 90's, if you ask me. This is the Astral Plane.

Hon; there ain't no such thing as a nice dog.

Now, I'm guessing that by Earthlings, you'd be referrin' to the humans. But jarrin' them up ain't gonna do you no good. They ain't gonna change, babe, and most of them ain't really so bad anyways.

You're wearing a hat on your eyeballs. If that doesn't deserve an "ew," I don't know what does.

[Mu can also hear it land with a crack. Whatever it's made of isn't terribly strong.] Er, yeah? This is your pad?

Somethin' wrong with your ninties? An' I can see it's a plane a' stars. Where is it?

My 'pad?'

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