Show of hands: who thinks I'm not in my right mind?

[house-1-god-0.livejournal.com]

{House is looking annoyed. Of course he does, Cuddy made him do clinic duty. Which, for the record, is so not fair. She can go pick up baby stuff before she even has a baby and House can't miss the completely pointless clinic duty? Life is unfair. But he's laying on a hospital bed with an issue of Entertainment Weekly and some popcorn. It's so easy to avoid clinic duty with the coma patients.}

You think I would get three days before I get another case, but no. Male, 6 years old, presenting with flu-like symptoms. He came in with his mother, and I was about to dismiss it, but I noticed the kid had some burns on his wrist. They were an odd shape, so I looked at them a bit more closely, and it seems like the kind of burns after they bombed Hiroshima, if you've ever seen pictures.

We believe that he has a very rare condition, so we hospitalized him, and the CDC is on their way to see for themselves. I told Cuddy not to get them involved, but she said that it would be illegal to not report it. I could have handled it on my own.

Still, I've only heard of Radioactive Flu once. It's a very rare condition.

{He eats some popcorn, opening his magazine again} I'm just kidding, I had to deal with an overprotective mother and her stupid kid with the sniffles.

Oh, and for anyone that cares is knowing the ending to last week's gripping medical mystery, the lesbian that had the seizure had Sjögren's syndrome. Surprise.

Comments

[mercwamouth]

[Deadpool just listens intently]

[oldoldghost.livejournal.com]

[Have a smirking Brigitta] People have no tolerance these days.

[geekgirltosh.livejournal.com]

[HOLY SHIT IT IS A TOSH...now with the right journal!] Radioactive flu? [snort] You sound like Owen.

[house-1-god-0.livejournal.com]

{Looks at Deadpool over the magazine}

Do you have the Radioactive Flu? I wouldn't be surprised from a masked...whatever you are. Regeneration is the first symptom.

[house-1-god-0.livejournal.com]

You go work clinic duty, then. Wiping snot off kids and sticking things in place they shouldn't go all day long really makes you consider another career really fast.

[house-1-god-0.livejournal.com]

I don't know an Owen, but I assume he has the same feelings about Radioactive Flu as I do. It would be more interesting than a cold, at least.

[mercwamouth]

Nah. I got a shot for that.

Might wanna give Spider-Man a check, though.

[oldoldghost.livejournal.com]

No, not you, the mother and the kid... We used to leave people like that up mountains back when I was young.

[house-1-god-0.livejournal.com]

Don't tell me that Spider-Man is here and I missed the memo. That would suck.

[house-1-god-0.livejournal.com]

I'd throw people like that off a cliff.

[mercwamouth]

Nah, just kidding.

And for the record, yeah, that would suck. He steals enough spotlight as it is.

Whiny emo...

[oldoldghost.livejournal.com]

Well, it'd probably be quicker, you wouldn't have to listen to them whine for so long.

[house-1-god-0.livejournal.com]

It's because he's Spider-Man. Whiny emo kid or not, he's still a superhero that almost everyone knows.

[house-1-god-0.livejournal.com]

I like the way you think.

[mercwamouth]

Used to know. Then we all forgot.

Lousy deal with the devil...

[oldoldghost.livejournal.com]

Thank you! You seem a thoroughly intelligent person too.

[geekgirltosh.livejournal.com]

He's the medic I work with - you'll probably run into him here eventually. He's the sort of person who would make up diseases to make things sound more interesting.

[house-1-god-0.livejournal.com]

I'm pretty sure that I remember.

[house-1-god-0.livejournal.com]

Hey now, flattery will get you everywhere.

[house-1-god-0.livejournal.com]

I don't really need to make most of them up. We get some of the weirdest cases, so that usually keeps me entertained for a week or two.

[geekgirltosh.livejournal.com]

And then you make them up after you run out of obscure diseases?

[lamb_of_gold]

[Incoming 12 year old!] What is Sjögren's syndrome?

[house-1-god-0.livejournal.com]

No way. Then I hang out with coma guy and watch soaps to avoid clinic duty. Until Cuddy finds my hiding spot, then I have to find a new one.

[house-1-god-0.livejournal.com]

I'll tell you when you're older.

[lamb_of_gold]

I'm plenty old.

[mercwamouth]

Well of course you do, but we can't.

Here, go ahead and tell me Spider-Man's secret identity.

[oldoldghost.livejournal.com]

It's worked well enough for me over the years.

[house-1-god-0.livejournal.com]

{Ah, now he gets it.} Peter Parker.

[house-1-god-0.livejournal.com]

And it will probably continue to. Well, until you flattery turns you into a whore. Then it's not quite as appealing.

[house-1-god-0.livejournal.com]

Don't care. See, I came here to get away from kids bothering me about their sniffles, you've just progressed to a whole new level of annoyance where you bother me about other people's sniffles.

[oldoldghost.livejournal.com]

I doubt that I'll ever turn into one, it doesn't sound like my sort of job.

[mercwamouth]

See? I heard you and... now I've forgotten!

[lamb_of_gold]

Seizures don't sound like sniffles.

[house-1-god-0.livejournal.com]

So you have selective amnesia. Okay, I guess, go with it.

[house-1-god-0.livejournal.com]

That's what they all say.

[house-1-god-0.livejournal.com]

She got better.

[oldoldghost.livejournal.com]

Who are 'they'?

[mercwamouth]

Not my fault. And it's not just me. It's the whole freakin' world. Spider-Man told everyone his secret identity and then we all up and forgot it.

[lamb_of_gold]

I gathered. But I wasn't asking about her sniffles, I was asking about her Seizures.

[house-1-god-0.livejournal.com]

Well that sucks, then. What a waste of time.

[house-1-god-0.livejournal.com]

Uh, women?

[house-1-god-0.livejournal.com]

Once again.

I'll tell you when you're older.

[mercwamouth]

You said it.

[geekgirltosh.livejournal.com]

You watch soaps with a coma patient instead of working? That sounds responsible.

[lamb_of_gold]

Does my age matter that much?

[oldoldghost.livejournal.com]

Not all women are whores, unless your world has severe problems.