realityshifted | (no subject)

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doctor who (d3) the master - simm

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[the ever-immaculate Master now looks rather dishevelled, so of course he's taking the moment to try to straighten his clothing out]

...He won't stop petting me.

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...what do you mean?

[gives him a questioning look. Also looks like he's been rolling around in sand and mud]

[quite obsessively trying to straighten his clothing out] He's sleeping in the wilderness tonight, I can tell you that much.

Your Eighth. My body. Your Eighth's inability to keep his hands off of my body. He's worse than you are. [looks him over] Bad dog! What did I say about rolling around in the dirt?

Who are you talking about? And who in the world would want to pet you?

[eyes widen slightly as he gets it, then mildly] It's not like he sees you as you. You're the TARDIS, eh? That's...interesting.

And I wasn't. There was a sandstorm. [shakes out his coat] A rather nasty one.

...petting?

[why yes, he does look amused]

At least he hasn't put a collar on you.

Who's petting you, desu? Ah, your hair is all messy! Do you need a brush, desu?

Maybe I'll pretend I've had a vision of the future and tell him about the Time War. Then he can go sulk in a corner and leave me alone.

You poor baby. Take a shower.

Always knew you were a faerie.

The Doctor.

You travelled with the Doctor, yes? Well, I'm with one of them. The Eighth. And he thinks I'm the TARDIS.

...what?

[and, slowly, it all begins to set in. cue a horrified TARDIS]

You...you've taken my reality, haven't you? If you so much as look at him, I swear...!

I wouldn't mind putting a collar on him myself. Pretty regeneration. Shame I only met him once.

Does he?

...well, that explains the petting, then.

[thoughtfully] So it's you, then, and not the younger.

And I think I'll take that as a compliment.

They're sleeping outside tonight. And tomorrow night. And however long it takes to right this.

How are you going to manage that, then?

Oh, what would you do? Glare at me?

[does just that, Master. and then slaps you across the face - hard] I do have a body now, you fool. I'd best not find anything out of place when I get my reality back or I will make sure you live the most uncomfortable remainder of a life imaginable.

Your primitive human concepts of sexuality are entertaining, but, well, primitive.

Someone who has mistaken me for someone I'm not. I would appreciate a brush, yes.

My what? Don't take it out on me because you're a bleedin' bum bandit.

That sounds horrible, desu! Ah, but. [drops out, comes back with a brush -- a little small, since she uses it for her hair, but a brush nonetheless] Here you are, desu.

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