[And all of a sudden, there is a man on the plane. A man that has been here before, but doesn't recall it. He's frozen in mid stride, hand stretched out as if he had been holding onto something, looking as confused as he ever has.

Slowly, he unfreezes and walks forward, until he reaches something he can touch. Making sure it's there. Or he's here. Or whatever. An anchor for senses and nothing more]

Now I've seen some pretty weird shit. Kinda stuff that a man might spend his whole life trying to reason with. But I think this...this might just take the cake.

[He reaches for his piece, gripping the handle and pulling it free from his holster then letting his arm hang at his side. He glances from side to side. Slowly, just trying to make sense of it. And he gives up pretty swiftly when he realizes that making sense of THIS wasn't gonna happen. Not yet.

He releases the object he had gripped and turns around, reaching into his pocket and pulling out some cigarettes. He lights himself up one, then observes once again. What happened to that shop? Why was he suddenly in this...place? And of that matter, what was with the random shit scattered about. His grip relaxes momentarily before tightening again, and he begins to walk in any one direction. If he's lucky, there will be people here.

And if his luck is anything like it usually is, they'll be shooting on sight. He's used to that.]

Time to find me the wizard. I'm no Dorothy, and I ain't got the time to dick around in Oz.

[today, Plane-goers, is a special day! for you see, today we have sighted the elusive 'Guv' in his natural habitat: the pub. or as natural as a pub comes on the Plane, meaning he's at the Astral Bar. because really, when isn't he. but today is different, because the Guv isn't drinking, though he sourly wishes he were. no, today, this terrifying animal has in front of him actual, honest-to-god paperwork

you see, Plane-goers, on occasion, the Guv will stop being boorish and actually look at casework. the reasons behind this unusual behaviour differ, but for today, that reason is nightmares, and what better way to soothe a distraught mind than with pointless, nancy paperwork?

yeah, that's what the Guv thinks, too]

Bloody hell.